


Learning to Hope in the Void

by bluedie7



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, Feeling jams, Fluff, M/M, POV Alternating, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Quadrant Confusion, Trolls on Earth (Homestuck), Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 53,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedie7/pseuds/bluedie7
Summary: Roxy Lalonde has a fight with her friends one night because she was drunk. Embarrassed and ashamed, Roxy sulks and avoids her friends, until a funny fish troll tries and succeeds to cheer her up.Eridan Ampora has anger issues and isolates himself from his friends. He sees a human girl with an expression he is all too familiar with.Roxy and Eridan explore the confusing territory of troll-human relations and moirallegiance, while dealing with their own issues and romantic endeavers together.Updates every other weekend.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora & Roxy Lalonde, Eridan Ampora/Kanaya Maryam, Eridan Ampora/Roxy Lalonde, Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 58
Kudos: 99





	1. Oh Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I hope you like it!  
> I have written the next few chapters already, so updates should be reliable.

Your name is ROXY LALONDE and you’re currently VERY HUNGOVER from drinking last night. You are SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD and live a little ways out of NEW YORK CITY, and are enrolled in your third year of HOMESTUCK Academy. You are currently sitting at the bar in your house with a half finished martini on the table. You remember very little from last night, other than you were completely hammered. You check your phone for clues as to what happened last night. It is currently 6:12 AM on a WEDNESDAY, September 26. “Fuck not again,” you sigh under your breath once you check your pesterlogs from last night and see that you pestered Dirk again. You have a HUGE CRUSH on DIRK STRIDER, and he is ALMOST DEFINITELY GAY, but that doesn’t stop drunk Roxy from shamelessly flirting with him. Well, enough inner monologuing. You had a conversation with JANE EGBERT, your BFFSY, JAKE HARLEY, your bffsies crush and your close friend, oh and also you think your crushes’ crush, and DIRK STRIDER, your crush, who you think is crushing on your bffsies crush. Far too much crushing in your opinion. Anyway let’s start off with what is likely to be the least embarrassing log.

tipsyGnostalgic started pestering gutsyGumshoe at 9:54 PM

TG: jaaaaaane  
TG: jaaaaaanneeeeeyyy  
TG: cmooooooom  
TG: *cmon lol  
TG:jaaanannnnananananeeyy  
TG: lol likr bartman  
TG: BARTMAN LOL  
TG: cmonn stop beinh a goidt two shows and doin homewrok  
TG: *being *goody *shoes *homework  
TG: cmonnnnn tak to ur bffsie  
GG: Roxy I was busy. :B  
TG: a wild jnae apeerd  
TG: *jane *apperad  
TG: *apeared  
GG: *Appeared  
TG: awww cmonn i wouda gotten it evebtualy  
TG: *eventually lol  
GG: Would you have?   
TG: LMAO probs not lol  
GG: Did you just say lmao and lol in the same sentence?  
TG:...  
TG: mabys  
GG: If I were guessing gal, I would bet that you are drunk.  
GG: Roxy are you drunk?   
TG: what would teh bet b  
TG: LE GASP woulf it b to kuiss JSKE HALRU  
TG: *would *kiss *jake harley  
GG: Even if I were to take that bet, which I am not, I would win seeing as you are obviously drunk.  
TG: noooooooo  
TG: ...  
TG: ;)  
TG: okay im babye a litttttlllee drink  
TG: *mabye  
TG: actually lol that one stays as babye  
TG: anywayyyyy y dont u jsut tell jake u luvvvv himmm  
GG: Roxy!  
GG: I do not love Jake Harley!  
GG: It is just a crush.  
GG: That I have had on him since we were kids.  
GG: And I have pictured us getting married on occasion.  
GG: It’s not that I don’t love him.  
TG: OMG janeyyy sweetie ur totes in luv with him  
TG: *sweetie wiat no got it first try  
TG: *wait lol  
TG: if ur not gonna confeds ur undyjng luv for him  
TG: then at leatssssss ask him out  
TG: *confess *undying *least  
GG: Roxy I have tried asking him out many times.  
GG: It’s just gosh darn it! His blasted face is too perfect! I psych myself out every time!  
TG: lol just rite him a leter  
TG: *letter  
GG: Roxy that is the most old-timey thing I have ever heard.  
TG: janye  
TG: *janey  
TG: u n jake r teh most old timey peeps on tha PLANET  
TG: a letter would be perrrfect  
TG: o m g u could puy ROSE PETS IN ITTG  
TG: *put *petals  
TG: taht would b so romantic  
TG: *swoon*  
TG: lol Janey whered u go  
  
GutsyGumshoe is an idle chum!  
  
TG: lol  
TG: spek of the devil jake just pwstered me  
TG: *speak *pestered

Well this looks like the point where u and Jake had a conversation so you switch over to the pesterlog you had with him.

golgothasTerror started pestering tipsyGnostalgic at 10:36 PM

GT: Oh Roxy splendid news!  
TG: lol wahts up jake  
TG: *whats  
GT: Well uh  
GT: *Shifts awkwardly*  
GT: I got asked out a few minutes ago. 

“Oh shit,” you sure as hell know that Jane didn’t work up the courage to ask him out. But it seems like past you never realized that.

TG: OMG DID JANEY FIMALY AKS U OUT!!  
TG: omg jake shes been curshing on u since liek forevvvssss  
TG: im glad she finally asked u out thooooo  
TG: u too would be succhh a cute couple!  
TG: *finally *ask *cruhing  
TG: **crushing  
GT: Uh whatever do you mean Roxy chum!  
GT: It was Dirk that courted me.  
GT: Wait Jane has a crush on me?  
GT: Well shucks buster! I never knew I was this popular with the men and the ladies!  
GT: Well that’s quite a pickle I’m in then! Seeing as how Jane’s one of my best chums.  
GT: But I'm already dating Dirk!

tipsyGnostalgic is an idle chum!

Oh fuck.

You just figured out why you drank so much yesterday... other than it being a Tuesday. Your crush Dirk and your best friend’s crush Jake got together yesterday and in a wonderful moment of drunkenness you told your best friend’s crush that your best friend is crushing on him. You’re so embarrassed and still very hungover. You still have one more pesterlog to go from Dirk and the log with Jane continues after that. The one with Jane continued first so you go with that one.

TG: so um  
TG: i assum u herd about jake n sirk  
TG: *assume *heard *dirk  
GG: Yes I’ve heard.  
GG: Jake told me himself, I assume right before he told you.  
TG: hehe yea about that...  
GG: Then Jake said he was going to tell you.  
GG: And when he came back he talked about my crush on him.  
GG: And he told me that you told him.  
TG: im so sorry jane  
GG: Then he told me he was dating Dirk and couldn’t date me  
GG: I trusted you Roxy, and you broke that trust.  
TG: i thought u were the one that aksed him out  
TG: so i congreduladed him on giong out wit u  
GG: Haha yeah I forgot you are still COMPLETELY DRUNK.  
GG: I just can’t talk to you right now Roxy.

gustyGumshoe blocked tipsyGnostalgic!

You feel the tears fall down your face and mess up your already runny makeup. You wipe it off on your arm then wipe your arm on your pants. Your headache is killing you but you deserve it, you told the guy your friend likes that she likes him and probably ruined her chances of ever being with the guy she loves.

Wow you’re the worst friend. And you haven’t even read the log that you had with Dirk. You really don’t want to read it, but you don’t remember anything from this conversation and you need to know if you’ve ruined more than one friendship yesterday. You ready yourself and click the log that says timaeusTestified.

timaeusTestified started pestering tipsyGnostalgic at 11:31 PM

TT: Sup.  
TG: hey  
TT: I talked to Jake  
TG: he tell u how muhc of a fujc up i am  
TT: ...  
TT: Yeah pretty much.  
TG: wow tanks fir ligthing up my mood  
TT: Hey just tellin’ the truth.  
TT: I also talked to Jane, she said she really wasn’t in the mood for talking and I respected that.  
TG: lol i didnt repset that and she bockld me  
TG: shes really med at me  
TG: seh has erey riht to be made tho  
TT: Roxy how drunk are you?  
TG: still concoujs so not druynk enoih  
TT: Roxy you shouldn’t drink yourself into unconsciousness.  
TT: Well you can but you shouldn’t  
TG: welk wht shouidnt i  
TG: my berts rfeind wount evnr tak to me  
TG: my mims ether gonr or drunhk  
TG: i dony evrn kneo who my dasd is  
TG: and i fuckun lovr u dirk and yoil naver live me teh same way  
TT: Roxy  
TT: Roxy I’m sorry

tipsyGnostalgic stopped pestering timaeusTestified 

Oh fuck  
OH FUCK  
You slump down and start sobbing into your arms. You don’t give a shit where your makeup goes anymore. You’d be surprised if any of your friends even look at you anymore. Even Jake will hate you for confessing to his boyfriend of one day. It seems you’ve made every person in your life hate you, good job Roxy well done.  
  
“Roxy are you out here?” It’s your twin sister Rose calling out to you from the entrance to the hallway.  
  
“In here,” you sniffle from the kitchen bar.  
  
Rose hurriedly enters the living room that connects to the kitchen where you are and turns to face you, “oh Roxy are you okay?” You look up at her, eyes puffy with tears and ruined makeup all over your face and arms.  
  
Rose walks over to you and wraps you in her arms, you lean your head on her shoulder and slowly sob into her.  
  
“You don’t have to go to school today, you can stay home if you’re not feeling well enough to go.” Her voice has lost a lot of it’s usual snark and it’s instead replaced with honest compassion.  
  
“N-no it’s fine, I have a lab today and I don’t wanna hafta explain this to mom.”  
  
She gives you a warm smile, “If that’s what you decided. You should go get changed and ready for school, we have to leave in about twenty minutes if you want to make it to first period on time. Oh and I’m driving.” She gives you one last tight hug and heads into the kitchen. “I will also make some coffee and breakfast for your hangover.” You give a weak smile back and head towards your room to get ready for the day.  
  
You have a feeling today will not be a good day.


	2. Wwizard Nerds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Eridan Ampora and get a view into his lonely existence before it becomes not so lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have enough of a backlog of chapters that I will post more often than once a week for a while to get it started up. I will still be updating every Friday though.

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA. You are a TROLL that is SEVENTEEN human years old. You live in the SBURB hiveclusters building 3, hive 11A. You are a VIOLET BLOODED TROLL, which means you are a SEADWELER, and are the second highest blood on the HEMOCASTE. However the hemocaste was ABOLISHED six years ago when the trolls first inhabited EARTH to escape the destruction of your home planet, ALTERNIA.  


You are currently taking a SALT WATER SHOWER in your floor’s absolution block. Floor eleven is for SEADWELERS ONLY, as it is the only floor that accommodates seadwelers.  


This year is the FIRST YEAR that trolls were allowed to go to the same school as humans, that school being HOMESTUCK ACADEMY. The transfer to this school also gave you a reason to switch to a new hivecluster which you WANTED TO DO because your stupid ass made the only friends you had HATE YOU, but NOT in the SEXUAL WAY.  


Now that your stupid inner monologue is over you step out of the shower, wrap your violet towel around yourself and head back to your respite block to get changed. Although you don’t have any friends you still like to dress up and look sharp so you fix your hair with your purple streak in it and wrap your neck cozily with your favorite scarf and adorn your cape.  


Today is Wednesday of the second week of HUMAN SCHOOL. And although you have seen your frien- ex friends, you run away from them at every turn and avoid all interactions with them. It gets lonely but you deal with it.  


You still happen to share a hivecluster with two of them who also moved to get closer to the school, those being KARKAT VANTAS and his moirail KANAYA MARYAM, the latter glaring at you whenever you pass in the building and during the math class you have with her. Karkat looks at you with an expression you can’t place but you abscond the second he comes into view. All of this is because of THE INCIDENT that happened a FEW MONTHS AGO, and YOU DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.  


Once you’re done getting ready you head out of the building using the stairs instead of the elevator, to hopefully avoid anyone going to school at the same time.  


You walk out and wait for the bus for a couple moments before you hear someone.  


“HEY FUCKASS.” You turn around to see the small form of Karkat Vantas heading towards you with the much taller form of Kanaya Maryam following close behind, currently giving you the patented Maryam Glare.  


You guess you’re not taking the bus today as you run in what you hope is the direction of the school. Usually you’re lucky enough to get on the bus before them and hide in the back so they don’t spot you. Today you are not that lucky. Running to school is a good workout anyway.  


“HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING YOU BULGEMUNCHING...” the rest is tuned out as you run out of hearing distance.  


After what you think is a good enough distance you stop to catch your breath and check where you are. Today must be the worst day of your life because you ran in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE SCHOOL. You take a few deeper breaths and clench and unclench your fists in an attempt to calm down before you punch something, or worse, someone. You turn around and start the long walk to school.  


You get to school about twenty minutes late and head to attend the last twenty minutes of your first class of the day, human history. You actually sort of enjoy this class, you like hearing about the conquerors like Caesar or Napoleon. Troll history is a much less talked about history, as most of it is oppressing the lower blood castes and conquering less advanced civilizations.  


You walk in mid-lecture and the whole class stares at you. The teacher, Mr. Droog, just scowls and points at your desk in the back. “Get in your seat Ampora.”  


“Yeah wwhatevver.” He gives you another scowl. “You got it Mr. Droog I’m headin to the back.” His scowls deapens but he continues the lecture as you head to the back.  


You go to the back of the room passing by a lot of humans, and a troll or two, and lower yourself in the corner seat of the last row next to a human girl. This girl has about shoulder length blond hair that curls at the tips. She’s sporting a white shirt with a picture of a pink four eyed cat on it with a pink skirt. Even her eyes are pink, that’s a lot of pink. The only non-pink thing she’s wearing is her scarf, which is two alternating shades of purple instead of pink. She usually spends the entire class on her phone, today however she is slumped down, laying her head on her arms just playing with her pencil on her desk. At least you’re not the only one having a bad day.  


A few minutes after you sit down you lean over and speak to the girl. You don’t know why you do it, you just feel a sort of kinship with the human that has the same crappy expression you usually have. “Looks like wwe’re both havvin’ a pretty carpy day.”  


She lets out a soft snort, “did you just say carpy?” And she turns her head in your direction.  


“Yeah wwhat aboat it,” you retort with a smirk on your face.  


She lets out another giggle then says lol out loud sounding out each letter.  


“You two in the back shut ya traps.” Mr. Droogs shouts and you both shut your traps and face the front to pay attention. Neither of you talk to the other for the rest of class.  


The rest of history goes by without issue and you manage to take a few notes you’ll need for later. The mystery girl that sits next to you spent the whole class pretending to pay attention and dejectedly doodling in her notebook.  


After class you get up and head for physics class on the other floor and take a seat in the back. Fuuuuuuck. You completely forgot it was lab day.  


Mr. Deuce gets the attention of the class and informs you that you will be working in partners for the lab and explains how to do it. He lets the class choose their partners, and as usual you are sitting in the back waiting for someone else to not have a partner.  


The girl you sat next to in history class looks around for a partner, she looks sad as she looks at a girl that sits in the front of class. She turns toward you and you realize you were staring so you quickly turn your head to look the other way.  


“Hey so you gotta partner yet?” You look back to your right and the girl you were staring at is standing next to you looking down at you and motioning to the empty chair next to you.  


“Oh uh nope, chairs empty wwe can be partners.” You stare at the paper on the desk instead of looking at the human girl standing next to you.  


“Aww so no fish pun?”  


You look up at her and her face is in a pout “Wwhere in that sentence cod there be a fish pun?”  


You see that she lightens up a bit when you say cod, and gives you a smile that makes your heart flutter a bit. She then gives you a contemplative look, “hmmm I guess you get a pass, this time.” She winks at you and then follows it with saying the word wonk out loud.  


You narrow your eyes a bit and respond, “I’m sorry your highness I shoulda inkcreased my output a fish puns for your entertainment.”  


She gives an even bigger grins and puts her hands on her hips and puffs out her chest, “Well I’m glad you rEELized your mistake, and i hope you never make the same mistake again fishy boy.”  


You can tell this human is making fun of the fact you have gills or that you’re a troll. Just like all the other humans you met. You stand up, violet with rage. You're not having any of it. “I am a PROUD seadwweller and I’m not just gonna take your stupid human prejudice sittin’ dowwn.” You realize that the entire classroom is dead silent and everybody is staring at you, the couple of low blooded trolls in the class have wide eyes filled with fear. And the girl in front of you who’s perfect smile was just out is now on the verge of tears. Fuck.  


Mr. Deuce is the first to speak, “Uh everybody get back to work now hehe,” putting out an obviously forced laugh at the end.  


The girl in front of you sits down first and stares at the paper in front of her. You awkwardly sit down after her and the room begins to start working again.  


After a few minutes of working separately she speaks again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in that way.”  


You turn to look at her and she’s still sadly looking down at her paper with moisture in her eyes, for some reason this hurts your chest a little. “Nope, not lettin’ you take the blame for this one. I got angry for no reason an snapped at you. I wwould like to apologize.”  


She looks up and gives a sad smile, “thanks.” And gog damn this human girl is so pitiable, with her huge pink eyes and melancholic expression. And you’re left missing her grin.  


You get back to work and quickly realize this girl is some kinda science genius. You consider science along with history to be your best subjects but this girl does it with such ease, you’re impressed. The work takes both of you about twenty minutes and you have about half the time left to do nothing.  


The girl sitting next to you just goes back to laying on her hands. You just realized you don’t even know her name. “Uh hey there,” she turns to look at you, her mouth still turned slightly down. “My name’s Eridan Ampora, reelized i never got to introduce myshelf.” You reach out your hand for a human handshake.  


She smiles a little bit at the last part, good enough start you think. She takes your hand and shakes it pretty hard, “Roxy, Roxy Lalonde. Also I’m sorry for coming off as racist, or xenophobic is the right word.”  


You give her a slight smile, “I told you it’s my fault. I’m the one who snappered at you. At least you didn’t mean ta be rude.”  


She gasps and then says, “Le gasp! I made THE Eridan Ampora smile.” She looked at her hands in awe. “I must be magic.”  


You roll your eyes then narrow them, “magic is fake as shit there’s no wwavve you believve in that carp.”  


She elbows you lightly, “oh c’mon Eridan. Magic is fun! Wizards can do all this super awesome stuff and it’s really cool.”  


She gives you this big smile as she talks about wizards and you have to give in. “Yeah I’ll givve that one to ya, magic is pretty cool. I wwas super inta wwizards wwhen I wwas a guppy.”  


Her smile looks like it’s reaching her ears and her eyes are so bright, enough to make you smile too. “You’re a wizard nerd too!”  


“Wwell I like to indulge in wwizard books n movvies n such evvery noww an then.” You look away slightly and can feel the violet rise to your cheeks.  


“OMG. Ur such a nerrrdd.” She points and laughs at you, but you guess by her demeanor that it’s not meant to be hurtful. You’re about to argue but are cut off by Roxy, “do you have a pesterchum?”  


You’re caught a little off guard, “uh yeah I do my handle’s caligulasAquarium.” The bell rings before you can say anything else.  


She gets up and leaves but turns, smiles, and says, “I’ll pester ya later wwizard nerd,” mocking your accent.  


Usually you’re furious whenever someone makes fun of anything about you, but the only thing your think pan can focus on is wondering why you are so excited for her to contact you.


	3. Bathroom Talks

Your name is ROXY LALONDE again and you think you made a new friend today! Of course that doesn’t make up for the fact that all your friends hate you or that you’ve been avoiding them all day. But ya gotta take wins where you find em. You tried to talk to Jane in physics but she partnered with someone else. You and her always were partners for labs. However, this led you to being partnered with the troll guy who cheered you up a bit in history class using fish puns. His name you later learned is Eridan Ampora.  


You accidentally might’ve made a xenophobic comment, it meant to be a joke! But you can definitely see how he interpreted it that way. He got super mad and that broke your heart so you apologized. What you didn’t expect was him apologizing to you for getting angry.  


You talked for a bit more after you both easily finished all the work you had to do. You think he’s funny with his fish puns and he’s a complete nerd for wizards just like you! You never really noticed him before, other than he looks sad most of the time and has a cool scarf and an awesome cape.  


At the end of class you got his chumhandle and are definitely gonna pester him after school. You hoped that he was in any of your other classes, but so far he was not.  


You had sixth period math with Dirk where you avoided him the whole time. You took the long way from math to lunch in order to avoid Dirk or your other friends. You know you should really just talk to them and have everyone make up and stay friends but you fear with your track record you’re just gonna make it worse.  


You enter the lunchroom a little later than usual and look around for a table to sit at. You spot your usual table with Jane, Jake, and Dirk. Jake is in between Jane and Dirk, with Dirk sitting very close to Jake with his cold expressionless face. Jake looks overall very uncomfortable, and Jane looks sad but you see her throwing a few glares in Dirk's direction every now and then when Jake isn’t looking.  


You sigh, you can’t sit with them, at least not today. You look around the room again and spot Eridan sitting alone at a table. You put on your most convincing smile and head over to him, careful to avoid the gaze of your other friends.  


You plop down in the seat next to him, “hey what’s up wizard boy.”  


He looks up at you and gives a face of complete bewilderment. “Wwhat are you doin here?”  


You know that the remark was of confusion but it still hurt a bit in your chest. Your smile drops a little bit, “is it uh, okay that I sit here.”  


His shocked face switches quickly into one of slight embarrassment and you see violet light up his cheeks a bit. In his embarrassment the gills on his face flap a little bit and it’s super cute! “N-no a course you’re welcome ta sit here.” Your face brightens, “it’d evven be nice ta sit wwith someone for once.”  


He has a very sad expression when saying the last bit that makes you wanna hug him until he feels better. “So why dontcha sit with people then?” Your face falls and you realize that you might’ve come off as a complete jerk.  


His eyebrows crease and his lips go downard, yup ya struck a nerve, again. Great job Roxy. He gestures to himself, “look at me. First off I’m a troll, a lotta humans wwon’t evven try ta put up wwith us thinkin wwe’re the devvil or somefin.” He stands up and glares at you, “not ta mention I’m a vviolet blood, almost all the trolls I’vve evver evven met hate me for bein’ a highblood or are terrified cuz highbloods are knowwn ta get pissed off easily and resort ta krillin’ anyfin that their anger is pointed at!” His glare weakens for a moment and you see little violet specks at the corners of his eyes. “Evven the couple a people wwho evven tried ta talk ta me I’vve pushed awway by bein’ an angry piece a carp that livves right up ta the vviolet blood standard a punchin’ their problems!”  


He freezes for a second then looks around and realizes that everyone in the room is staring at him. He looks embarrassed then he scowls, flares his cape up behind him and leaves the room.  


You’re left just sitting there in shock and horror. You feel awful, your body aches and you ignore everyone's gazes on you as you get up and quickly follow after him.  


You push open the doors to the lunch room after him and exit out into the hallway. You catch his cape flowing after him as he goes into the nearest bathroom. You follow him and push the door to the boys bathroom open.  


The second you enter you hear quiet sobs coming from one of the stalls, and luckily no one else is in the bathroom with you.  


You gingerly approach the stall and place a soft knock on the door, “Eridan? You okay in there?”  


The sobbing stops and you hear a tiny voice come from behind the door, “R-Rox?”  


Rox? Has he already given you a nickname? not the time Roxy, not the time. “Yeah it’s me I came to make sure you’re okay in there,” you say in the softest voice you can manage.  


His voice reeks of tears and confusion when he asks, “Wwhy?”  


You lean your head softly against the door, “because it’s my fault you got upset. And no takin’ the blame this time. Plus earlier in history you tried to make me feel better with your silly fish puns and again in physics with your nerdiness,” you let out a soft giggle at the last part. “So I wanna return the favor and try to help you feel better.”  


He stays silent through most of your little speech but once he realizes it’s over he responds, “th-thanks Rox.”  


“No problem dude." You let a few seconds pass. "So you gonna open up the door or what?” You move back from the door in case he opens it so you don’t fall forward.  


You wait a couple moments then you hear the click of the door unlocking and Eridan appears behind it. His eyes are stained purple and look miserable. You really just want to hug him until he can’t remember his problems but you refrain from doing that, instead you just wrap one of your arms around his side and rest his face on your shoulder, you notice that you got an inch or two on the guy height wise. He looks confused and a little panicked at first but then he relaxes and lets out a few sobs.  


You both stand there in the bathroom outside the lunchroom. You hear the bell ring and the footsteps of people from behind the door. One guy opens the door and walks in, you quickly motion for him to leave with your hand until he leaves.  


You tangle your left hand into his hair, it feels prickly and more like long fur than hair. You put your hand against his head and run your fingers through his hair. He purrs, fucking PURRS, and it’s the most adorable thing you have ever heard so you continue doing that for a while.  


His sobbing grew more and more infrequent as time passed and eventually he spoke up. “Look Rox, wwhy’re you doin’ this for me? I’vve yelled at ya multiple times and I almost made you cry wwhen I did it in physics. So wwhy are ya helpin’ me after all that carp?” He looks up at you from where his head is lying. Looking directly at you with his violet eyes that remind you of rose’s but not quite.  


“Because you apologized after freaking out and I can tell that you feel really bad for it both times.” You look at him with a reassuring smile. “And you seem like a pretty good guy,” he snorts a little at that. You look to the side and feel heat rise to your face, “plus you’re pretty cute.” C’mon Roxy get it together! Did you really just flirt with the boy you met today, that yelled at you and was crying on your shoulder a few minutes ago. Jeez no standards. You sneak a peek at his face and it is flooded with violet. You let out a small cough and continue, “also you seem like a total wizard nerd and we nerds gotta stick together.”  


He lets out a snort, “you’re right no one beats me out at bein’ the biggest wwizard nerd in the universe.”  


You make a pfft noise and look down at him, “there’s no way anybody beats me in that department Eri.”  


He gives you a confused look, “Eri?”  


You think you blush a little and say, “yeah well u shortened my name to Rox so it’s only fair.”  


He gives a slight shrug as a response and you two sit there in companionable silence until the next bell rings and Eridan jumps. “Shit I missed all a english.”  


You mentally note that Eridan is in your english class. “Ughhh yeah we did. My last class is gym and I don’t feel like running rn so you wanna just skip and head to my place instead?”  


He thinks for a moment before responding, “yeah sure my last period’s a study hall so I don’t need to go there anywavve.” You see a slight violet hint to his cheeks, “and I wwouldn’t mind goin’ ta your hivve.”  


Your face visibly lights up which brings the slight curve of his mouth upward. “Yay! It’s gonna be so much fun! I can show you all my cool wizard stuff! Shoot I should probs text Rose to tell her what’s up.”  


He nods and gets off your shoulder and you immediately miss the contact. You pull out your phone and pester Rose

tipsyGnostalgic started pestering tentacleTherapist at 2:09 PM

TG: hey rosie i made a new friend!  
TG: would it b cool if i took the car and drove him and i to the house rn  
TT: Roxy.  
TT: You are supposed to be in class.  
TT: And are you asking me for permission to cut your next class?  
TG: i mean yea basically  
TT: You want to cut class to take a boy to our home so you can defile him while no one is home.  
TG: its not like that rose!  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: If I may inquire, who is this boy?  
TG: his names eridan and hes a total wizard nerd!  
TG: and he makes funny fish puns!  
TG: and hes got this really cool scarf!  
TT: Hmm.  
TG: hmm again  
TT: Yes, hmm again.  
TT: It would seem to me that you have taken a liking to this boy, in a way that is not entirely platonic if I were to guess.

Your face has got to be as red as a tomato now as you read the last message Rose sent you. You don’t like Eridan that way. I mean he’s super funny and cute, but like in the friend way. Right?

TG: roooooooooseee  
TG: its not like that i swear  
TG: now can i use the car  
TT: I will keep my questioning as to the legitimacy of that statement until later.  
TT: And yes you may use the car to drive you and your “friend” to our unoccupied house.  
TT: I will catch a ride with John.  
TG: thanks rosie!  
TG: see ya later  
TT: Good luck in your endeavors to have sex on our couch.

tentacleTherapist stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic

Your face is beet red and Eridan is starting to look concerned but you wave it off. “I got the car now let’s go to my house!” And you parade out of the bathroom getting a couple of glances from wandering students and teachers.  


The two of you walk toward the front of the school and into your car. Rose’s text still lingers in your mind, do you like Eridan like that?


	4. It's on Like Donkey Kong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan visits the Lalonde estate and gets destroyed in Mario Party

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA and you have NO IDEA what’s going on. You lost your temper AGAIN in lunch when the girl you just met today, Roxy Lalonde, asked you why you didn’t have friends. And the more you talked about it the angrier you got and you made a huge scene and definitely said too much. You then proceeded to cry in the bathroom.  


The girl you got pissed at, Roxy, came in the bathroom after you and helped you feel better and apologized for making you angry. You were confused and you asked why she would even want to help you. She said she was returning the favor and that she actually liked you.  


And then she did about the PALEST thing you have ever seen and let you cry on her shoulder, LITERALLY. Your face must’ve looked like a grape the entire time. But it helped, a lot and you definitely wouldn’t mind doing it again. Fuck are you going so pale for this girl, this HUMAN girl. Humans don’t even have moirallegiance, it would never work. But gog damn she is so pitiable and conciliatory at the same time, you wouldn’t deserve her even if somehow you two became moirails, so best to just stop thinking about it.  


You are awakened from your inner monologue by a sharp turn Roxy just made in the car you’re in. “Holy carp Rox are wwe in a police chase or somethin’ wwhy’re you drivvin’ like a maniac!” You grab onto the side of the black convertible that Roxy is driving as she takes another turn at what feels like a hundred miles per hour. She’s been going at this speed since she left the city.  


“Lol Eri I’m goin’ slow for you, since I was told my driving is ‘very unsafe’ or ‘likely to cause one to empty their digestive tracts.’” She took a hand off the wheel to do quotation marks.  


“Hands on the wwheel Rox!” You shout and she laughs it off. You have to hold onto your scarf to make sure it doesn’t fall off, you're astounded that Roxy’s scarf hasn’t blown away with how loosely it’s around her neck.  


“Ok we’re here!” You look up at the hive she’s pulling into and it’s huge, like an actual mansion, it’s painted an impeccable white and it’s at least two stories. There aren’t any human houses near it for a mile at least and behind her hive is a large forest.  


“Holy carp, Rox is this your hive?” You look over at her and she has a big smile on her face, but you swear there's a hint of sadness in her eyes.  


“Yup! Isn’t it awesome.” She points to two statues in the front of the hive by the door, “my whole family is a buncha nerds so we got cool wizard statues and paintings all over the house!” You look closer and they are two huge men with long white beards and staves, crackling with magical energy.  


You look around the outside of the house while Roxy is trying to get the car into the garage and see a small stone building a little ways from the house. You point out to it, “hey wwhat’s that buildin’.”  


She looks over to it and her smile drops. She speaks somberly, “oh that’s Jasper’s mausoleum. He was our cat, he died about a year ago.” She gripped the wheel a little hard, stared forward, and her mouth formed a straight line. You decide it’s better to drop that topic for now.  


She parks the car and jumps out, urging you to follow. Once you enter you realize it looks just as good on the inside as the outside. All the walls and floors are squeaky clean and the large purple couch in the middle of the open living room is completely dust free, with all the pillows propped up perfectly. In front of the couch is a large TV that nearly rivals movie theaters. A little off from the living room is an open kitchen with a bar. Just as Roxy said, there are statues and paintings of wizards all over the place and even a statue of a vacuum cleaner.  


Roxy leads you upstairs to another room in her hive. You stop and look at yet another painting of an old man with a white beard and wizard staff. “Wwhy do all wwizards look the exact same.” She looks back at you and quirks up a brow and says wdym. “Like look at all a these different wwizards, they all are old wwise men wwith wwhite beards an a complete knowwin’ a all thins’ magical. I mean wwhere’s the divversity?”  


You wave your hands to gesticulate at the wizards beards as you talk and she laughs throughout the whole speech. “Lol cuz all us young guys n gals are still studying the magykks and the requirement to be a full blown powerful wizard is like 80 years a practice so,” she shrugs her shoulders.  


“Also not a single girl wwizard. I mean are they sayin’ that girls can’t be wwizards too?”  


You look back at her and she’s stifling a laugh. “Lol Eri are you pro more wizards babes?” She does a pose where her hands are behind her head, “cuz if you want a model for you to make a wizard babe I’m right here. WONK.” She winks and you feel blood rush to your face and you look away.  


She doubles over laughing at your blush and it must be contagious because soon both of you are clutching your stomachs to stop yourself from falling down laughing.  


“Meow?”  


Roxy faces the sound and tries to hold her laugh in as she leans down to grab the source of the sound. She turns back with a tiny black cat with four eyes in her arms. “Wwhat is that?”  


“This,” she hold up the cat by the armpits of it’s front paws, “is Mutie! He’s our cat.”  


“Wwhy does he have an extra set a eyes though?” You point to his face as Roxy moves him back into a hold like she was carrying a wiggler.  


“That’s cuz my mother made him in the lab downstairs.” She uses her free hand to play with his paws as he tries to catch her fingers. “Me an Rosie were very upset when Jaspers died, especially Rose. So our mom cloned his DNA to make a new cat. Though he came out with an extra set of eyes, that’s why we call him mutie!” It feels like the excitement at the end of that sentence was artificial but you brush past that.  


She leans down and lets Mutie jump out of her arms, and he scurries away. “Huh, that’s awwfully nice a her.”  


You see Roxy grimace slightly, “it would have been nice for her to comfort her grieving daughters instead of just making a new cat to fix the problem.”  


Oh, you think that Roxy and her sister don’t like their human lusus very much. “Oh so is that the reason wwhy there’s a lavvish cat mausoleum outside for your last cat?”  


She looks more than a little frustrated, “yup, Rose wouldn’t even talk to her for weeks after she killed Jaspers, so she did what she always does and just throws money at the problem. She gave our cat a huge funeral and had a suit tailored for him to be buried in. She had her thirteen year old daughters look at the dead body of their cat be buried in front of them.”  


Roxy has her fists clenched and is scowling at the ground. If you were her moirail you would rush to her and comfort her. But humans don’t do moirallegiance right? Wait don’t human friends usually do that kinda thing too, so she wouldn't see that as a pass at her.  


You gulp, blush, and close the distance between you two. You wrap one arm around her shoulder the way she did it to you in the bathroom. You use your other hand to grab her hand and start to rub circles on the back of it lightly with your claw.  


Roxy looks up surprised and a little red goes to her cheeks. She looks at you and smiles, “thanks. Heh, I got a little carried away didn’t I.”  


You give her shoulder a squeeze then release her shoulder. You keep your hand holding hers. Your body is naturally much colder than hers due to your blood color, so her soft warm skin is very soothing to you. “No need to apologize Rox. Evven I can shell your human lusus is a jerk. You havve evvery right ta be angry.”  


You hear a light chuckle come from your side and she turns to face you. “Anyway enough about that let’s head to the best room in the house, my room!” She shoots her fist into the air.  


She lets go of your hand and you immediately miss the warmth she provided. She leads you into a hallway that has a door on either side. She opens the door on the right and you follow her in.  


You were not ready for what you saw. The entire room is filled with pink, pink walls, pink desk, pink carpet. She has a TV of her own with a bunch of different gaming consoles along with a computer set up with a desk on the side. Her bed is also pink and filled with stuffed animals, mostly from video games or cats.  


She catches you looking around her room and blushes slightly. “So uh this is my room,” she does a spin to turn around and face you, “whatcha wanna do first? Wanna get crushed in Mario Party?”  


She gives a sly smile while twirling a controller cable in her hand. You reply, “oh you’re so on.”  


To which she responds, “it’s on like Donkey Kong.” You sigh and groan out loud and she just laughs.  


When she said she was gonna crush you, she was not kidding. By the time Roxy’s sister arrived Roxy was up four stars to your measly one.  


You heard a knock on the door, followed by, “Roxy, make sure you and your boy toy are decent. I am opening the door.”  


You look over to Roxy and she is redder than a tomato. “R-Rose it’s not like that we’re just playing Mario Party!”  


Rose then opens the door with a devious smile, then it changes to a look of surprise. “Oh so you're the Eridan if heard about.” She turns back to Roxy, “so I see you’ve become a xenophiliac.”  


“ROSE!” Roxy usually isn’t the quietest person you’ve met but you don’t think you’ve heard her voice go that loud and high. Her blush somehow deepens, “I told you it’s not like that, we’re just friends.” She looks to the side, “I was feeling sad in school today and he really cheered me up and we became friends.”  


Rose seems to take this as an acceptable answer with a noise of acknowledgement. “Roxy I doubt that you two ate too much lunch since I heard from Dirk that you left at the beginning of it. So would you like to get our guest and yourself something to eat?”  


Roxy looks at the TV then back to Rose, “but we’re in the middle of a gaaaaame. You can’t just cut us off.” Rose merely gives Roxy a look and they stare at each other for a few moments. Yeah this is pretty awkward for you.  


Roxy concedes first, “ugghhhh fiiine. Whatcha want Eri?”  


You are startled from your trance of watching the Lalonde Staredown. “Uhh guess I'll havve wwhatevver your havvin.”  


“Got it, grilled cheese it is.” Roxy gets up from her seat on the floor next to you and walks out of the door past Rose.  


Rose, the much shorter of the twins, looks down at you from her standing position, her purple eyes looking cold and threatening. “I heard about what happened during your science and lunch periods.” Her glare narrows, “don’t hurt her. She’s been hurt enough, especially this past week. I don’t mind making sushi for dinner tonight.”  


You swallow hard, then try and match her glare, “I would nevver dream a hurtin’ Rox.”  


She looks at you suspiciously then starts to leave the room. Right before she passes the door she looks back at you, “I will trust that statement, for now. Don’t make me regret that choice.”  


She leaves the room without closing the door. You think the Lalondes are a lot scarier than you initially thought, but your resolve not to hurt Roxy has stayed the same.


	5. Feelings Jam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy and Eridan have a good ol fashion feelings jam.

Your name is ROXY LALONDE, and you are currently making grilled cheese for you and your new friend, Eridan Ampora. You are both at your house outside of New York. You showed him around your house and pointed out all the wizard paintings and statues all around the house. The conversation shifted to your mother accidentally and you let your anger for her seep through. Eridan comforted you and calmed you down with the same side hug maneuver thingy you did for him, it was really nice. You were in the middle of destroying him at Mario Party when your twin sister Rose came home. She obviously wanted to talk to him alone so you begrudgingly went downstairs to make lunch for you and Eri while they talked.  
  
And so you’re here flippin’ cheese sandwiches in the kitchen. After about a minute Rose walks down from the stairs and enters the kitchen. “Roxy.” You turn your head a bit to look at her without completely losing focus on the sandwiches. “You know how mother would react if she knew you invited a troll into her home.”  
  
You sigh, “c’mon Rose you know that she’s a xenophobic asshole.” You shrug, “it’s not like she’s here anyway, and who knows when she’s even gonna be home.” Your voice comes out a little more angry than you intended.  
  
“While true,” she goes over to the cabinet to fetch three glasses, “we don’t know when she will be home. She could be home any minute for all we know.” She places the three glasses onto the table as you take the grilled cheese off and put a third one on now that you’re apparently serving three people. “Will he be amicable to jump out of the window on a moment’s notice?”  
  
“C’mon Rosie it’ll be fiiiine.” You flip the sandwich. “If, and big if, she does come home we can just sneak him out when she inevitably passes out drunk.” Rose fills one of the glasses with high sugar pink lemonade, your favorite, and the other two with water. “Pluuuus,” you look at her with a wicked grin, “I know you disapprove of her hate of trolls. Especially since you got the hots for that troll chick with the long legs.”  
  
At that she blushes furiously and spills a little water on the counter before clearing her throat and continuing, “my apparent ‘hots’ for miss Maryam does not change the fact that we could be in trouble and any troll we bring into this home could be in danger if our mother found out.”  
  
You take the last grilled cheese off the pan and onto the plate. “Then she won’t find out.” You pick up the plate and one of the glasses. “Now c'mon we have a guest to entertain,” and you head back to your room with Rose following behind with the other two glasses.  
  
You enter your room with the plates and glasses in hand and see Eridan still sitting on the floor. You pass out the sandwiches and Rose speaks up, “I apologize I did not know what you wanted to drink so I just got you water.”  
  
Eridan waves it off and takes the glass and the grilled cheese, “nah wwater’s fine, thanks.” He takes the glass and sips it, then eyes the sandwich suspiciously. “Wwhat is this, you called it a grilled cheese?”  
  
You let out a little laugh, “omg Eri have you never had a grilled cheese before?”  
  
He looks down at the grilled cheese and inspects it. “Wwell they don’t serve human food in the Sburb apartments often. And all the restaurants in the Alternian sector serve alternian substitute foods, apart from Mcdonalds n’ coffee shops.” He looks up to you, “so no, I’vve nevver had grilled cheese.”  
  
Rose looks towards you but you’re too focused on your new revelation. “OMG ERI we havvvvveeee to go around and try a buncha good human food.” You throw your arms up for exaggeration, “it’ll be so much fun!”  
  
He gives you a smile, “wwell as long as you let me cook you a couple a alternian finners for you ta try.”  
  
He shrugs like it’s no big deal but you’re beaming. “Eri you can cook! That’s amazing!”  
  
A faint violet dusts his face to betray his attempt at acting cool. “It’s no big deal reelly,” he shrugs.  
  
Rose has been looking on with amusement and finally cuts in, “well us Lalonde’s have been cursed with having no cooking talent whatsoever.” She raises her fist, “damn that witch that placed the curse on our ancestors. Stripping us of our culinary expertise for generations.” Eridan looks severely confused until you and Rose start giggling.  
  
Eridan takes a cautionary bite of the grilled cheese. “So how's the grilled cheese Eri?” you say between chews of your own grilled cheese.  
  
Eridan finishes chewing before speaking, “it’s just cheese and bread on a grill. It’s not great but it aint bad either.” He picks up his sandwich and looks at the sides, “how did you evven manage to do that. You ovvercooked the bread an the cheese isn’t evven melted.”  
  
You look embarrassed while Rose tries not to laugh too hard. Rose contains her laughter and dramatically states, “the Lalonde curse strikes again.”  
  
You and Eridan continue playing Mario Party and Rose watches for a while. Then announces she is going to be in her room and she leaves you and Eri alone.  
  
The game ends after a bit with the score as you as peach with five stars, Eridan as Waluigi with two stars (when you questioned him on his choice in characters he said he “wwas the only character wwearin’ the right colors), and the two CPUs with three and two stars respectively. Eridan got last place by nine coins, which infuriated him, and filled you with laughter.  
  
“Haha yes!” You jump up and shoot your fists into the air when you’re announced the winner. “I am the queen of Mario Party!”  
  
Eridan claps and then bows down, “oh queen a Mario Party what’s next on the agenda today?” He smirks up at you from the ground.  
  
You give a short laugh and then a long humming sound. “Wanna watch Harry Potter?”  
  
You plop down back on the ground and await his answer. “Yeah sounds great, wwe wwatchin it in the livvin’ block or in here?”  
  
You’d be screwed if your mom walks in on you and Eri watching in the living room. “Yeah, probably better if we watch in my room.”  
  
“Wwhy? Wwouldn't it be better if wwatched it out there? You got the big couch an TVV in the livvin’ block.”  
  
You bit your lip. How’re you gonna explain this? “Ya know how I told you my mom’s a jerk?”  
  
“Yeah?” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing ever.  
  
“Well she kinda hates trolls, like a lot.” His face goes from surprised to angry real quick. “I’m sorry, I know I should’ve told you earlier.”  
  
“I kneww she was an asshole but reelly did she havve to havve another thin’ stackin’ up against her.” He stands up and starts pacing around the room. “I glubbin’ hate humans like her wwho just hate trolls cuz wwe look different from them.” He takes a long breath, “you got no need to apologize ya knoww. Just cuz your human lusus is a wwaste a space doesn’t mean you're ta blame.”  
  
You look down at the floor and feel a little wetness on your cheek. “I know she’s awful and I get mad at her and frustrated at what she does. But she’s still my mom, and the only parent me and Rose have. I just wish she were better, more caring, and less spiteful.”  
  
Fuck, you just made Eridan super uncomfortable, great job. You shoulda just smiled and pretended everything was fine. You shoulda just agreed that your mother was scum, but you just can’t. You shoulda just-  
  
You feel pressure against you and realize you’ve just been standing there crying. Eridan’s cool body has just surrounded you in a hug, you cry into his shoulder. "I just want to feel loved," you manage to choke out between sobs. You feel his hand touch the side of your face and hear him make a shushing sound. You swing your arms around him and maybe hug him a little too tight, but he doesn’t complain.  
  
His hand feels weird, it’s cool first of all but you know that trolls have colder bodies than humans. It’s also slightly webbed in between his fingers. His skin is much harder and coarser than human skin, but the way he touches you would betray that. When he rubs his hand on your cheek it’s soft and delicate, like the slightest movement would shatter you.  
  
After a few moments he breaks the silence. “Wwould you like ta talk aboat it?” He lightly moves your head off his shoulder to look at you, he smiles and you see a tinge of violet on his cheeks. “If it’d make you feel any better I could match ya and talk about my problems too.”  
  
You smile weakly at him and squeeze him tighter. “Yeah I’d like that a lot thanks.”  
  
Eridan taps your shoulder. “Rox I think you’re crushin’ my bones.” You quickly loosen your grip and let out a light laugh.  
  
You let him go and wipe your eyes of tears. Your hand motions in the direction of your bed, “wanna sit down on the bed and talk then?”  
  
He nods and you sit on your bed and motion for him to sit next to you, he does. “So uh should I start first then?”  
  
“Wwhenevver you’re ready Rox, don’t wanna rush you. Take your time.”  
  
You smile at him and take a long breath to steady yourself, and you begin to talk. “As you know me and Rose are twins, but we don’t know who our father is. Apparently he cheated on her and she kicked him out. Our mother was heartbroken. So,” you take another deep breath. “She fell into drinking pretty hard. It started to get worse when me n Rose got into middle school.”  
  
You feel Eridan's hand on your arm and you realize you’ve been clenching your fist for a while. “You don’t havve ta talk if ya don’t wwant to.”  
  
You shake your head. “No it’s fine, I can continue.” You lean over and slump your body on Eridan’s shoulder and he places his cold hand on the side of your head. You nuzzle into his shoulder a bit, he smells like the ocean. “We had to grow up pretty fast and learn to take care of ourselves whenever our mother was drunk. Especially Rose, she lost a lot of her childhood taking care of both me and our mother.” You look to the side in guilt. You don’t like to tell a lot of people about this stuff, but for some reason you trust Eridan. “I also get drunk, a lot. But I don’t have a problem like her, I can still function. Unlike her.”  
  
You look up at him from his shoulder, he looks a little tense but he doesn’t look like he’s going to talk so you continue. “I try to take care of myself when I’m drunk, but Rose always ends up helping me out. She may be snarky and sarcastic, but she cares a lot about people close to her.” You can feel the tears start to appear in your eyes but you hold them back. “I even managed to ruin my friendships while I was drunk last night.”  
  
His hand starts massaging your head. “Is that wwhy you wwere so dowwn today?”  
  
You nod and wipe your eyes. “Yeah. I was drunk and told Jake about Jane’s huge crush on him. But Dirk, he and Jake started dating the same night. So I just put a huge tear in our whole friend group.” You motion with your hand slicing down. “Not to mention, I got blackout drunk and ended up telling Dirk that I was in love with him.”  
  
You feel his arm tense slightly around your head. You look up to his face and you see a weak smile. “Rox I’m sure if you talk it out with them they’ll forgivve you. Crushes come n’ go, and it seems like thins’ were gonna get messy between them anywway. Not ta brag or anyfin but I’m basically the king a failin’ in romantic endeavvers.” He pats the top of your head, “the fin your friend Jane needs right now is a friend ta help her get ovver it and keep evveryone as friends. Evven if you fail it’ll be better than lettin’ your wwhole friend group dissipate because of a couple crushes.”  
  
“Thanks Eri, that’s good advice. I’ll try talking to them tonight.” You sit up and scoot closer to Eridan. “Now it’s your turn. Tell me about those failed romantic endeavors. If you’re comfortable with it,” you quickly add.  
  
Eridan lets out a somewhat forced laugh. “Trust me Rox you don’t wanna hear about my romantic problems.”  
  
“Aww c’mon Eri I told you about mine now you gotta tell me about yours. I’ll try and help anyway I can.” He looks a little uneasy so you try and ease his worries. “Trust me Eri, I’m not gonna judge you.”  
  
Eri sighs, smiles, then tentatively leans his head against your shoulder to mimic the position you did earlier. You move your hand to his head and start going through his hair, careful not to mess it up. He makes the adorable purring sound again and it brings a smile to your face.  
  
Your hand moves and brushes the base of one of his horns. The texture is hard but smooth and prickly, like really fine sandpaper. You start to run your hand up his horn but he quickly flinches away. “Oh shit I’m sorry, I probs shouldn't have done that without permission.”  
  
He moves back to your shoulder. “Nah it’s fine I just wwas surprised is all.” His face lights up violet, and he shyly looks away from you. “You can... continue if wwant.”  
  
Yes! As he leans back on you, you quickly move your hand back to his head before remembering his horns are sensitive. You slow your hand and start to message the base and lower sections of his horns. You hear his purr again followed by low chirps and clicks coming from his throat. You’re kinda amazed trolls could make so many different noises in their throat, and even more amazed by how cute this fish-troll is when you pet him.  
  
As you pet him he begins to speak. You’re really thankful you and Eri are jamming out your feelings, it’s been helpful so far for you but now it’s your turn to help Eri in any way you can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized this chapter was a lot shorter than I thought, so expect another chapter soon.


	6. Not a Feelings Jam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Roxy DEFINITELY DON'T have a feelings jam.

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you are currently in the PALEST ACT of your life. Roxy lalonde is currently running her fingers through your hair, she touched your horn and you jerked back, astonished that she’d be so forward. She seemed to want to keep rubbing your horns so you blushed fiercely and told her to continue.  
  
You and Roxy are NOT having a feelings jam. Humans can’t even feel pale emotions, so there’s no way she’s pale for you. It’s not like you're pale for her, definitely not. Okay maybe you’re a little pale for Roxy Lalonde, and you are not one to turn down romantic advances. Even though she probably has no idea she’s doing it. Ugh humans are hard to understand.  
  
During your NOT feelings jam, Roxy told you about her human lusus. Her and Rose’s mother drank alcohol a lot and was overall neglectful. Roxy also told you that she drank as well. You didn’t want to make her upset by being accusatory so you held your tongue in telling her that drinking was a huge mistake.  
  
Now it’s your turn to talk about your problems. You’re scared. You’re scared you’ll open the flood gates and all your bottled up emotions will pour out and drown the one person who’s giving you the time of day.  
  
But... you’re sure that Roxy also had reservations with telling you her life story. But she was strong enough to talk to you about it, and you should do the same.  
  
You take a breath and look up at her from your position on her shoulder. She’s papping your head, going through your hair, and touching the base of your horns. It’s very soothing and you never want to leave. You hope she felt half as safe as you are right now when you were doing this for her.  
  
It’s been a while, but she hasn’t rushed you. She trusts you to talk when you’re ready, and you really appreciate it.  
  
You take one more breath and steady yourself, you’re ready. “Howw much do you knoww about the trolls’ landin’ on earth?”  
  
She strokes her chin with her free hand in a contemplative manner. “Well I know that it happened six years ago. It landed in like upstate New York. It brought about a hundred thousand trolls, most of which still live in New York. And uh yeah that’s about it.”  
  
“Wwell ya got most of it right.” She looks down with a questioning look on her face. “The ship that landed held closer to a hundred an twenty thousand trolls that escaped the destruction of Alternia.” You still remember looking out of the window of the ship and seeing the fiery ball of energy that was once your home. You cried, you had lost everything. They didn’t allow anyone to bring their lusii so seahorse dad had to be left behind.  
  
Your face feels wet. You move your hand up to feel the liquid on your face. Your crying, violet tears staining your skin. You feel Roxy’s arm tighten around you. You just realized you said all of that out loud. But you still feel safe with her arms around you.  
  
You move your head further into her and continue. “I cried for days. All a the highbloods were disgusted wwith me for showin’ wweakness.” You sob a little harder. “I wwasn’t evven fivve sweeps old, I couldn’t help it.”  
  
Roxy’s hand gently brushes through your hair. “Eri you were a kid, and you lost your home and your parental figure. It’s only natural to cry.”  
  
“Maybe for humans it’d be natural. But for trolls cryin’s a wweakness. And among the highbloods lookin’ wweak is the most shameful thin’ you could do. None a the other highblooded children cried, I wwas the only wweak one.”  
  
You try to hold back as many tears as you can before saying the next part. “An then I met her. Her name’s Feferi Peixes. She’s a fuschiablood, the only one ta make it one the ship. Thus she wwas the de facto empress a all the trolls on board. while all the other highbloods laughed at me, she comforted me.”  
  
“She wwas my first moirail, but I thought of her differently. I wwas flushed for her, but she wwas only pale for me.”  
  
She taps your shoulder and you look up at her. “What do those words mean, like pale, or flushed, or moirail.”  
  
Fuck. Of course. She doesn’t even know what a moirail even is. How could she reciprocate your feelings if she doesn’t even know what they are.  
  
“Wwell troll romance is sorted into quadrants. Matespriteship, the flushed quadrant, is basically just human romance in its entirety. Moirallegiance is the pale quadrant, basically it's like one really close friend. But it's more than friendship. Ughh Kar wwould’vve done a better job explainin’ it.”  
  
“Kar? Like Karkat Vantas?”  
  
Fuck, well you can’t just leave her hanging. “Fef introduced me to some of the other kids on the ship that she wwas friends wwith. Kar wwas one of em, so was Sol.” Your face instinctually scowls until you feel a soft hand on your cheek and you calm down just as fast.  
  
“Sol was Fef’s matesprit, so naturally I hated the guy. Wwe’d get into fights until Fef broke us up. She’d always take his side, she scolded me for pickin’ a fight wwith him, an then help him up an wwalk awway wwith him to do cod knowws wwhat.”  
  
If it wasn’t for Rox’s light touches and her arm around you, you probably would’ve gotten mad and stormed off by now. You take a minute to calm yourself down. “The trip lasted a couple months. The only one a Fef’s friends I really got close to in that time wwas Kar.”  
  
You let out a dry laugh. “He wwas a grumpy asshole, but deep down he cared. It was so… different from Fef. Wwhenevver I jammed wwith Fef she just disagreed wwith all a the thins that I wwas angry about. To be fair I wwas an evven bigger asshole back then. Wwhen Kar n I talked he agreed that I wwasn’t the only one bein’ the asshole. Wwhenevver I asked him for advvice he tell me that I’m an idiot for not just knowwin’ wwhat ta do. Then he’d tell me, step by step, wwhat I’m doin’ wwrong an wwhat evveryone else wwas doin’ wwrong. It helped, it felt like he understood my position. I evven watched some a his romance movvies an critiqued em wwith him. Wwe got pretty close, especially after the ship landed.  
  
This is a part that most humans don’t know about, what happened right after the ship landed. “You wweren’t exactly wwrong about the numbers of trolls that came off the ship. It arrived wwith a hundred twwenty thousand but only about a hundred thousand survvivved after it landed.” She gives you a questioning look but you continue. “The US govvernment found out wwhere and wwhen wwe wwere gonna land beforehand. So wwhen wwe landed on earth, the ship wwas surrounded. The lowbloods agreed that wwe should try and live in peace with the humans. Howwevver, most a the highbloods on board wanted to fight and conquer the planet like the Alternian empire did before. Wwhen it landed, most a the adult highbloods and midbloods ran out of the ship firin’ on any humans they saww. They wwere surrounded, so they all quickly died. That’s wwhy highbloods are rare these days, most a them died right after the landin.”  
  
Roxy has been listening intently as you talk, nodding along to whatever you are saying. She has been in contact with you the whole time, silently assuring you that she was there and listening to your troubles. “Once most a the highbloods wwere takin’ care of, an adult troll knowwn as The Signless had a speech to evveryone that stayed behind. He suggested wwe submit to the inhabitants of the planet and hope to live among them in peace. He managed to make the majority of the adults agree, especially wwith help from Fef, wwho also agreed wwith his wways.”  
  
“An I assume you knoww the story from there. Signless an his followwers talked to the govvernment an havve been slowwly gettin’ trolls more rights evver since. And he abolished the hemocaste and helped set up the mother grub in a secret location..”  
  
“What’s the hemocaste? And the mother grub?”  
  
You give her a dumbfounded look. “Really? Didn’t they teach you anythin’ about troll culture?”  
  
She gives you a wide grin. “Nope!”  
  
You sigh. You guess you have to explain it to her. “Wwell the mother grub is howw trolls reproduce. Wwe aren’t mammals, wwe don’t give livve birth. Trolls wwould pail, then givve the filled bucket to the mother grub. Then the genetic material in the buckets wwould be mixed together an’ then deposited into the mother grub, wwho wwould then givve birth ta trolls. On Alternia Wwe wwould be forced under death to givve genetic material to the mother grub. On Earth wwe only havve to do it evvery three months once wwe’re sixteen, under threat a not receivvin’ an allowwance.”  
  
“Wait so you gotta do the do four times a year? What if you don’t got anyone to do it with?”  
  
“Wwell,” you feel a light violet dust your cheeks. “A lot a people just pair up wwith wwhoevver they can find.”  
  
Her face starts to fill with a bright red, “so have you ever uh, had to do it with a rando?”  
  
Your blush matches hers in all but color. “Wwell the first feww times I had ta do it I wwas in a kismesistude. But wwe broke up a year back. So three times.”  
  
She gives a slight cough to try and change topics. “Anyway, what was that other thing, the hemocase?”  
  
“The hemocaste. It’s a system that ranks trolls in society based on their blood color. There are elevven common blood colors. From lowest rank to highest it’s: burgundy, brown, yellow, olive, jade, teal, cerulean, indigo, purple, violet, and fuschia. Fuschia and violetbloods are seadwwelers and livved in the Alternian ocean, the rest are landwwelers. The higher one is on the hemocaste the longer their lifespan is. Fuschia bloods are only born once about evvery thousand years or so, and they livve for multiple millennia.”  
  
“Huh.” You look up at Roxy when she makes that noise, her face looks wistful. “That sounds kinda sad.”  
  
“Wwhat do you mean it sounds sad. Livvin’ basically forevver sounds amazin’ ta me.”  
  
“Well yeah it sounds cool lol. But only fuschiabloods live that long, and they’re pretty rare.” You wonder where she’s going with this. “Everyone around them is going to die before them. There will be no one that you will truly spend your entire life with, it sounds lonely.”  
  
Now that you think about it, it would be impossibly hard to watch all your quadrantmates die. “Huh, guess I nevver really thought about it like that.”  
  
Now that you’re explaining how trolls work you realize that you don’t really know too much about how humans work. “Howw long do humans livve for?”  
  
She puts her hand to her chin. “Idk like 70 to a hundred years. Anyway continue your story.”  
  
You nod into her shoulder. “Alright. After trolls became a part a human society wwe wwere still seen as vviolence fueled aliens, especially highbloods. The highbloods that livved on Alternia wwere used to Alternian lawws that allowwed them to cull anyone lowwer than them. So once they arrivved on earth they believved the same lawws applied here.”  
  
Roxy interjected, “wait so on Alternia they just went around killing whoever they didn't like?”  
  
“Wwell any troll that is lowwer than you on the hemospectrum. An a lot a trolls that came on earth felt that they had the right to cull anyone wwho disrespected them. That’s another reason wwhy there aren’t many highbloods left. An all the highbloods left are feared because wwe’re knowwn ta havve short tempers an no morals.”  
  
You start speaking in disdain and Roxy presses her head to lay on top of yours, avoiding your horns. A calm smile spreads across your face as pale emotions fill your body.  
  
This is the hard part to tell people. You’ve never told anyone about what happened, not like you had people to tell but still. “Evver since I came ta earth evveryone wwas afraid a me. They all acted like I wwas a tickin’ time bomb, just wwaitin’ ta bloww up at the next person ta talk ta me.”  
  
You hear a shooshing sound come from Roxy. She must notice that you’re getting angry just thinking about it. She’s gotta have no idea what shooshing and papping means to a troll, otherwise she wouldn’t be this forward with her pale advances.  
  
You motion to the bed she has against the wall. “You wwanna lay on some blankets instead a the floor?”  
  
She nods and walks to the bed. She hits the foot of the bed, turns around, spreads her arms out, and falls backwards onto the bed with a grin on her face.  
  
A short laugh escapes your lips as you follow her and lay down on the bed like a normal person next to her.  
  
She moves around a bit so you both are on your backs staring at the ceiling. You’re about shoulder level on her and her hand returns to slowing running through your hair.  
  
“The only people that wwould evven tolerate me around them wwas Fef’s friends. Specifically Kar. He didn’t give a glub that I wwas a highblood, he’d still insult me an talk ta me like equals.” You let out a deep sigh in anticipation for what's to come, The Incident. “About half a year ago I confessed to Fef that I had red feelins for her. She told me that she didn’t feel the same wway and that she wwas still matesprits wwith Sol.” Your fists clench, “an that she no longer wwanted ta be moirails wwith me.”  
  
“Oh Eri I’m sorry, that sucks.” Rox presses your head against her more. “She didn’t sound like she was very good for you anyway. Plus, there’s tons a more fish in the sea.”  
  
You turn to look at her and she has the biggest grin you’ve ever seen on her face and you both burst into a fit of laughter. “Rox that has gotta be the wworst joke I’vve evver heard,” you say between giggles.  
  
“I mean it made you laugh, so what does that say about your sense of humor Eri?”  
  
“Wwhat. You laughed at least twwice as much as I did. So wwhat does that say aboat your humor?”  
  
She erupts into another fit of laughter which causes you to crack up alongside her. You quickly forget how sad and serious you were before and silently thank Roxy for lightening the mood before you start crying again.  
  
It takes another couple of minutes before she’s calm enough to tell you to continue. “Once me n Fef broke up I started hanging out wwith my friends less an less. Kar a course came ovver to my hivve wwith his moirail to check I wwas still alivve, he occasionally brought others wwith him like Sol or Ara.”  
  
You take another moment to calm yourself and take a breath. Roxy lies there next to you, patiently waiting for you to continue while absently gliding her fingers in your hair. You take this moment to take in the scent of her. She smells sweet, like cotton candy.  
  
You move yourself up against her shoulder one last time before continuing. “One time about four months ago Kar, Kan, an Sol wwere at my place. Sol let it slip that he broke up wwith Fef an I got furious. Wwe got into an argument an after a wwhile it got physical. Kan tried to break us up by pullin me off of him. I responded by hittin her wwith my elbow, which caused her to attack me and beat the carp out of me.”  
  
She presses you somehow even closer to her and looks like she’s about to speak but you stop her and keep going. “I mean I completely deservved it, I don’t blame Kan. But after that Incident I didn’t feel like I deservved ta speak ta any of them. They all surely hate me since I snapped and attacked them.”  
  
You can feel your body start to shrink in on itself until you feel Roxy’s hand on your cheek. “Eri if everything you’ve told me about Karkat is true there’s no way he’d hate you after that. He might’ve been pissed at the time, but he’d be more sad that he’d lost you as a friend.” Kar always didn’t mind your bullshit and most of the time he seemed to enjoy your company. Fuck maybe he was just trying to talk to you, and you ran away like a coward. “I’ll give you the same advice you gave me. Just talk to him the next chance you get. And if he is still mad, then you don’t need him! You can be friends with me n Dirk n Jake n Jane!”  
  
You start to feel better about yourself. You wipe your eyes a bit with your sleeve. “Thanks Rox. Ya knoww you’re reelly good at this.”  
  
“Aww thanks Eri!” She gives you one more quick squeeze hug before getting up. “Wanna watch Harry Potter now?”  
  
Crap you forgot you were gonna do that, getting caught up in this feelings jam. NOT feelings jam, because she’s a human, she doesn’t do that stuff. “Yeah turn it on, let’s wwatch some wwizard action.”  
  
After finishing up your NOT feelings Jam, Rox turned on Harry Potter. She points out all of the cool wizard stuff and pretends she can cast spells and incantations. It's pretty coddamn adorable and after awhile you’re both throwin’ spell after spell in each other’s direction throughout the whole movie.  
  
Oh what do you get by lying to yourself, you’re so pale for the human named Roxy lalonde. You’re screwed.

  



	7. Tears of Joy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan goes home and Roxy attempts to make up with her friends.

Your name is once again Roxy Lalonde, and you are watching Harry Potter and goofing around with Eridan Ampora. He recently finished talking about the ship that brought the trolls to Earth and what happened between his friends. You know that Eri can get worked up and angry, but he never tried to hit you. This Sol guy must’ve really gotten on his nerves. It sucks that no one ever gave him a chance and got to know him just cuz he’s a violetblood. You’re really glad he at least had one friend in Karkat. He told you that you need to talk to your friends and make up, so you told him to do the same! Karkat hangs out with Rose’s friends so you know a little about him. He’s grumpy and angry all the time, but he’s also super passionate about things. And whenever his friends ask for help he’ll grumble and complain the whole time but he’s gonna help without question, and he’s pretty cute. If he and Dave weren’t totally into each other (and maybe together?) you’d try to get yourself some of Vantas. Wonk.  
  
You’re getting off track. In conclusion, you hope Eri makes up with his friends.  
  
As your brain brings you back into focus you realize the movie’s ending. You check your phone and realize it’s pretty late, and you’re pretty hungry. You get up and stretch your arms above your head. “Hey Eri, you hungry cuz I’m gonna order food for dinner.”  
  
He gets up a little too quickly and stumbles over his cape. “Oh no Rox, no wwavve. You cooked for me noww it’s my turn ta return the favvor. Just lead me to the kitchen.”  
  
You Le Gasp. “Am I gonna get to taste genuine Ampora cuisine. Omg Eri thanks!” You wrap your arms around the troll’s neck. Your face is in his scarf and it’s very soft. Definitely a different material from your scarf that Rose made you, maybe it’s from Alternia. His scarf is also a deep blue while yours is lighter purples.  
  
“Uh Rox,” you feel a tap on your shoulder. “Kinda gotta breathe here.”  
  
You quickly remove yourself from his soft cloth. “Oh shit sorry Eri. Uh the kitchen is this way.” You march to the kitchen and show him where all the kitchen supplies are.  
  
Once he finds all the stuff he needs he shoves you out of the kitchen. “Sorry Rox, gotta stay focused.”  
  
“What am I distractin’ you Eri?” You put one hand on your hip and the other on your head in a sexy pose.  
  
You see him look away, “no n-not like that. Can ya get Rose dowwn here soon.”  
  
Shit. Shit shit shit. “Uh yeah right away.” Crap did you read him wrong. You two were super intimate earlier on the bed. You assumed he was so open about all that because he was interested in you. But that was not the impression you got from his reaction to your flirting. He just looked uncomfortable with it, shit.  
  
You head up the stairs to Rose’s room. She knows trolls, heck she’s even into a troll. She could help you out.  
  
You quickly open Rose’s door to find her sitting on her bed crossed-legged on her laptop. “Oh Roxy,” she looks up from her laptop, “what brings you into my room.  
  
Her room is filled with purples and blacks. Posters with horrorterrors and other goth things fill the room, along with her many knitting projects. Most people think Rose’s room would be squeaky clean, but they’re so wrong. Many of her knitting projects lay strewn across the floor along with some of her clothes. Apparently cleaning is another skill that Lalondes were cursed to be bad at.  
  
“Rose, can we talk, I need help.”  
  
She lets go a sigh and an eye roll before patting the part of the bed next to her. “I must first say goodbye to Kanaya, I only need a moment.”  
  
“Oooh were you and Kanaya flirting,” you slyly say as you approach her bed.  
  
A little pink dusts her cheeks and she talks as she types. “No we were not flirting, merely talking.” She does sound a little disappointed at that. Omg Rose just has to ask her out already, jeez.  
  
But now’s not the time for that, you have to ask her about the cute fish boy cooking in your kitchen.  
  
Rose cuts you off before you even start talking. “Let me guess, this is about Eridan isn’t it.”  
  
She has a wicked grin as she closes her laptop and turns to face you. Your cheeks feel hot and you look down and fiddle with your fingers. “Yeah it’s about Eri.”  
  
Her eyebrow raises at the use of his nickname, but she doesn’t question it for now. “What is the problem between you and Eridan.”  
  
“Well we had a long talk and a lot of fun in my room messing around. But he got super uncomfortable when I flirted with him.”  
  
Rose nods wisely and thinks for a moment before speaking. “What did you two talk about?”  
  
“Well I talked about our mom, and how I fucked up yesterday. And he told me about when the trolls first arrived on Earth and when he had a falling out with his friends.”  
  
“Hmm. That seems like a very intimate talk you two had.”  
  
You groan and throw yourself back against her bed. “Yeah it was but like, idk.”  
  
“Are you sexually attracted to Eridan?”  
  
You feel a blush rise to your cheeks. “Dang Rose, pullin’ out the big guns already aren’t ya.” You think for a moment. Are you sexually attracted to Eridan? He's cute and funny, perfect boyfriend material in your book. But thinking about sex with him seems, weird. “Idk, kinda?” Rose merely raises her eyebrow again, a gesture telling you to continue. “Like he’s super cute and fun to be around, but thinking about doin’ the do with him feels… weird.”  
  
“Hmm. Maybe you just need time to figure out how you feel about him. You only met him today after all.”  
  
You nod, “yeah that makes sense.” You sit up and scooch closer to Rose. “Thanks Rosie you’re tha best.” You hug your twin.  
  
She was startled for a moment at the quick contact, but reciprocated by lightly putting her arms around you. “Anytime Roxy.”  
  
The hug ends and remember you left Eri in the kitchen. “Oh and Rose, Eri’s makin’ some fancy dinner in the kitchen and he wanted me to get you.”  
  
Rose nods and slides off the bed. “I wonder what our guest made us for dinner?”  
  
You and Rose go downstairs into the dining room. You try three times to get into the kitchen to watch Eridan cook, he’s kicked you out all three times. You and Rose end up waiting at the dining table. Said dining table is way too huge for your family, being able to seat ten people. Usually the only people that use it are just you, Rose, and your mom.  
  
Whatever Eri is cooking is starting to smell really good. Your mouth is starting to water as you waft more of the scent from the kitchen. It smells like seafood. You guess living in the ocean for years of your life would get you accustomed to seafood.  
  
After about 10 more minutes of waiting Eridan finally comes out of the kitchen holding three plates. “Bon appetit.” Eridan places a plate in front Rose, then you, then in front of an empty seat next to you that he sits in.  
  
The dish in front of you is some sort of grilled fish with seasoning, it looks delicious. You stick your fork in and take a bite. “Omg Eri you made this? This is delicious!”  
  
You see a light violet shade appear on Eri's cheek. “Nah it’s nothin reely, just a few cookin tricks I picked up here n there. Knowwin’ how ta cook is a necessary skill in life.”  
  
“Can you try n’ teach me then Eri?” You’re leaning on the table in his direction with a big smile on your face.  
  
“Yeah fine. Next time I come ovver ta cook for you I’ll let you wwatch and learn from my cookin' magic.”  
  
A conniving grin spreads across your face. “I thought magic was fake Eri. Have you finally become a believer of magic!” You stuff your mouth with more fish as Eri and Rose start to eat with more manners.  
  
He quickly catches himself and puts his hands up. “Wwoah not so fast. Magic is completely fake. Cookin’ is science an’ skill, not magic.”  
  
“Aww cmon Eri magic is fun to believe in.”  
  
You hear Rose snicker from behind her hand and you shoot her a short glare. Rose clears her throat and speaks up. “Now, now. No arguing at the dinner table you two.”  
  
Another blush fills your face. You try to stuff it down by shoving more of Eri’s delicious food down your throat.  
  
You all manage to finish the rest of the meal in relative peace. After the meal Eridan refuses to let you and Rose help him with cleaning up the table and plates. And who says chivalry is dead.  
  
Eri exits the kitchen and turns towards you. “It’s gettin’ pretty late, I should probably get goin’.”  
  
You get up and follow him to the door. “Gotcha I’ll drive you.” You go to the shelf near the door and grab the keys with a jingle.  
  
Eridan shakes his head. “Nah Rox, it’s fine I can walk.”  
  
You give Eridan a deadpan stare. “Eri you know that our house is about a twenty minute drive to the city.  
  
He looks super embarrassed and you try really hard to suppress your giggles, you fail.  
  
He seems to double down on walking. “Rox trust me it’s fine. I need more cardio anywway.”  
  
You don’t even try to stop your laughter this time. You just open the front door and lead him to your car. He reluctantly follows and enters the car with you.  
  
In the first half of the drive, you’re speeding through and Eri is holding onto the side of the car for dear life. The second half of the ride when you’re in the city is filled with you taping your fingers against the wheel waiting for all of the other cars to get a move on already!  
  
Once you’re in the city Eri gives you directions to the Alternian sector of NYC. You pass a bunch of Alternian restaurants and souvenir stores. You finally get to the apartment that Eri lives in, and dang is it tall. To be fair they do have to fit a lot of trolls bunched together in New York so the buildings would have to be big.  
  
“Thanks for today Rox,” Eri says as he opens the door and steps out. “You really helped me, an’ thanks again for listenin’.”  
  
He gives you a sincere smile, you reciprocate it with a smile of your own. “Of course Eri, anytime.”  
  
He waves and heads to the door and enters the apartment. You hope Eridan’s talk with Karkat goes over well. Fear settles in your gut when you remember you have your own friends to apologize to when you get home.  
  
You end up thinking about what to say during the drive home. You decided that you are going to talk to Jane first because you believe you owe her an apology the most. Jake is the least likely to stay mad at you so you’ll talk to him second. And you’re saving Dirk for last, mostly because you’re mortified at the thought of talking to him while he knows you have a crush on him.  
  
You’re home faster than you expected. You pull into the garage then turn the car off. You step into the house and drop the key on the shelf, then head into your room.  
  
You pull out your phone and check pesterchum. You have a bunch of attempted logs from Jake, a few from Dirk. But none from Jane. She’s probably still mad. You turn and look at the cabinet that you stash your drinks in.  
  
Jane will for sure hate you forever if you attempt to apologize drunk, but a few sips won’t hurt. You open up a bottle and take a swig of vodka. It burns your throat a bit going down, but you hope it’ll help you work up the nerve to pester Jane. It’s called liquid courage after all.  
  
You open up pesterchum and select gustyGumshoe  


tipsyGnostalgic started pestering gutsyGumshoe at 9:49 PM  
  
TG: uh hey jane  
TG: i just wanted to apologize again  
TG: that was pretty shitty of me  
TG: i shouldnt have told jake that  
TG: im sorry  
GG: Roxy.  
TG: jane ur here!  
GG: Yes I’m here Roxy.  
TG: im really sorry jane  
GG: You already said you were sorry.  
TG: oh yeah i did  
GG: I missed talking to you today Roxy.  
TG: i really missed u too  
GG: You’re my best friend.  
GG: I don’t forgive you completely, but I would like to go back to talking to you.  
TG: thank u jane  
TG: so much  
GG: Roxy, we have been friends forever.  
GG: I could never stay mad at you for too long.  
TG: omg thank you janey  
TG: i still need to apologize to dirk and jake  
GG: What do you need to apologize to them for?  
TG: oh dirk didnt say anything  
GG: He didn’t say much about you.  
GG: We didn’t talk much at all at lunch.  
TG: well last night i got absolutely HAMMERED  
TG: and i uh kinda told dirk i was in love with him  
GG: Golly Roxy!  
GG: Was that after you found out they were together?  
TG: yup  
TG: i told him i was in love with him  
TG: he apologized  
TG: then i closed the log in panic  
GG: Roxy I’m sorry.  
GG: I wish you luck in your apologies.  
TG: thanks janey  
TG: <3  


tipsyGnostalgic stopped pestering gutsyGumshoe  


That went well! You’re so relieved, you thought that Jane wouldn’t forgive you so easily. You probably should’ve expected this from your bffsie Jane Egbert. You two have been friends since elementary school and she’s always been nice and caring whenever she can.  
  
You steel yourself and select golgothasTerror.  


tipsyGnostalgic  started pestering  golgothasTerror at 10:10 PM  
TG: uh hey jake  
GT: Roxy!  
GT: you’ve started responding again!  
GT: I thought you buggered off for good!  
GT: I was starting to get worried chum!  
TG: lol sorry i didnt talk to u guys today  
GT: I assure you it’s no problem!  
TG: i just wanted to apologize here  
GT: Whatever do you have to apologize for Roxy dear?  
TG: last night when i was drunk  
TG: i confessed to dirk  
GT: Well what did you confess to him?  
TG: jake…  
GT: Am I missing something?  
TG: jake i confessed that i had a crush on him  
GT: You had a crush on Dirk?  
GT: Gadzooks!  
GT: I had no idea.  
TG: jake i made it pretty obvi  
GT: Huh, I never picked up on that.  
TG: oh jake  
GT: Anyhoo.  
GT: While you’re here I need some advice.  
TG: oooh yeah  
TG: im no therapist like rosie but i picked up a few skillz  
TG: try me  
GT: Well it’s about Dirk.  
GT: Ever since we started dating he’s been around me all the time.  
GT: I mean I really appreciate the chap,  
GT: But bullocks!  
GT: A lad needs his space every now and then.  
TG: ughhhh  
TG: dirrrrrkkkkk  
GT: Do you know what his deal is?  
TG: well if i were ta guess  
TG: itd b that hes scared of losing you  
TG: especially since he knows jane wants a bite of you  
GT: Boy howdy!  
GT: That makes a barrel of sense.  
GT: You’re much better at this than you let on Roxy!  
TG: ill talk to dirk and tell him to ease up a bit on u  
GT: Thanks Roxy!  
GT: You’re being a real sport about this Dirk business.  
TG: ah no probs harley  
TG: pester ya later  
GT: Right back atcha comrade!  


tipsyGnostalgic stopped pestering golgothasTerror  


That one also went really well. Why did you ever doubt Jake Harley, he’d forgive someone who punched his face then called him an upstanding gent. You giggle to yourself at the thought.  
  
You take a deep breath, then exhale. You click timaeusTestified and start pestering.  


tipsyGnostalgic started pestering timaeusTestified at 10:25  


TG: hey dirk  
TT: Roxy you’re back.  
TT: You’ve started talking to us again.  
TG: yeah im sorry for that  
TT: It’s no problem.  
TT: I’m glad we’re back on speaking terms.  
TG: yeah same  
TT: …  
TG: …  
TG: so are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room  
TT: Roxy.  
TG: im sorry  
TT: I’m sorry.  
TT: Wait why are you sorry.  
TG: im sorry for all the times ive flirted with you  
TG: and for what i said yesterday  
TG: wait why are you sorry  
TT: I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same way about you.  
TT: I’m only into dudes.  
TG: well duh  
TT: Roxy.  
TT: I’m being serious here.  
TG: yeah sorry  
TT: Roxy, you’re a great girl.  
TT: I hope you’ll find someone who will feel the same way about you.  
TT: But I’m just incapable of having those feelings towards girls.  
TT: And I’m sorry for leading you on and not clarifying earlier.  
TG: nope  
TT: Nope?  
TG: nuh uh  
TG: dirky u dont gotta apologize for being gay  
TG: im supposed to the one apologizing for coming on to you while i knew you didnt feel the same about me  
TT: But it’s my fault.  
TG: nope!  
TG: not lettin u hate urself cuz a this  
TG: so nope!  
TG: i take all the blame  
TT: Fine.  
TT: Even though I don’t love you that way,  
TT: I really appreciate you Roxy.  
TT: You’re a great friend to all of us.  
TG: aww thanks dirky!  
TG: so we cool?  
TT: You know I’m always cool.  
TG: lol  
TG: i also came here for another reason  
TT: And that reason is?  
TG: i talked to jake  
TG: and u need to give him some space  
TG: ur gonna scare him off if u glare at anyone that comes near him or talks to him  
TT: I don’t glare at people who talk to him.  
TG: i saw the way u n jane were glaring at each other  
TT: She was glaring at me because I am dating Jake and she isn’t.  
TG: i know i know  
TG: shes at fault too  
TG: ill talk to her after  
TG: but u gotta trust jake  
TG: if he says hes dating u hes dating u hes not gonna fall for anyone talkin to him  
TT: Yeah okay if he needs some space I’ll give him some.  
TT: I wish he’d just come to me and say that.  
TG: dirky not to be mean  
TG: but ur prreeeetttyy intimidating ngl  
TT: Okay I might come off as mildly intimidating.  
TG: lmao  
TG: ima go ask jane to back off jake now  
TG: talk to u soon dirk  
TT: See you Roxy.  


tipsyGnostalgic  stopped pestering timaeusTestified  


It... all went well. You’re friends don’t hate you. They forgave you. You wipe at the tears that are breaking their way into your eyes. This reminds you of the last time you read a message from Dirk. The only difference is, these are tears of joy.  
  
You smile thinking about how they’re still your friends. Your friends are kind of messes, but you wouldn’t trade them for anything.  
  
You spend the rest of the night pestering your friends and having fun with them, without touching the bottle.  
  
You wonder how Eri is doing with his friends. You hope that he succeeds like you did. An even bigger smile stretches across your face when you think about Eridan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pesterlogs are not very fun to do on ao3 ;-;  
> Anyway thank you all for reading so far! :D


	8. There's More ta Me Than Fish Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan Apologizes to Karkat and goes to school.

Your name is Eridan Ampora. You had shown off your culinary talents to the Lalondes, and even promised to let Roxy watch and learn next time you went over. That also meant there would be a next time. You smile to yourself as you enter your hivecluster.  
  
Roxy insisted she drive you home. And after you arrived you gave her an awkward goodbye. You mentally kick yourself as you ascend the stairs. You should’ve hugged her or kissed her or something! Something to indicate that you’re interested in her pale quadrant. Instead you just fucking waved.  
  
As you are walking up the stairs you notice you’re on floor six, Karkat’s floor. You promised Roxy that you would talk to him.  
  
You might as well get it over with now. You head into the floor six hall, pass eleven hives until you get to Karkat’s. Hive 6L. You approach the door and give it two swift knocks.  
  
You prepare yourself to get yelled and cursed at for even trying to mend things with him as you hear footsteps getting closer to the door.  
  
The door swings open, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, ME AND MY MOIRAIL ARE TRYING TO-.” He stops mid-sentence, his face lights with recognition. “ERIDAN?”  
  
Seeing him again in person has shot your nerves up again. He stands about half a foot shorter than you with disheveled black hair, wearing a grey sweater and sweatpants. His eyes have his signature bags under them and his pupils have finally become cherry red like his blood. On Alternia he’d be culled on sight for having mutant blood. But since the trolls landed on Earth mutant bloods were accepted by all, especially since the signless also had cherry red blood.  
  
“Uh sorry if I’m interruptin’ anythin’. I’ll just leavve.” You turn to walk away but feel a tug on your cape.  
  
“OH NO YOU DON’T ASSHOLE.” You look behind and Karkat has both of his hands gripping your cape. “WHY IS YOUR ROTTED PAN HERE INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY AT THE SIGHT OF ME.”  
  
“Wwell I came here to apologize. For runnin’ awway a ton an for punchin’ Sol and Kan. An just bein’ a bad friend.”  
  
Kar’s face shows pure shock. “HOLY BULGELOVING FUCK. DID YOU JUST FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO ME?”  
  
You put your hand on your chest in mock offense. “Wwell I like ta think I got more mature in last couple months.”  
  
Karkat nearly falls over laughing. “YEAH FUCKING RIGHT YOU DID.” You’re about to protest before you’re wrapped in a hug. “YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT YOU KNOW THAT?”  
  
You give a half-hearted laugh. “Wwell I knoww that noww.” Why the hell he doesn’t hate your guts. You punched his moirail, he should be trying to kill you by now. “Kar, wwhy don’t you hate me?”  
  
He releases his hold on you and backs up to look you in your eyes. “ERIDAN FROM THE FIRST DAY I KNEW YOUR SORRY ASS I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKUP. JUST BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE. I THOUGHT YOU REFUSED TO TALK TO ME AFTER WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE I WAS A BAD FRIEND FOR LETTING IT HAPPEN.”  
  
A smile etches itself across your face and you ignore the moisture in your eyes. “Thanks Kar, but that’s bullshit. You’re a better friend than I deservve.”  
  
He smiles back at you. Relief spreads throughout your body, he is still your friend. You can’t believe you were stupid enough to stop talking to your best friend.  
  
The moment is interrupted by a voice emerging from Karkat’s hive. “Karkat, Who Is At The Door At This Hour?” The tall frame of Kanaya Maryam appears from a door behind Karkat. Her hair sits perfectly in it’s usual style, however her makeup is undone; she probably wasn’t expecting visitors. She is wearing her casual black shirt with her sign on it and a red skirt.  
  
You swallow as your body tenses at the sight of her. Kanaya narrows her eyes at you.  
  
Karkat immediately senses the tension and tries to diffuse it. “KANAYA, ERIDAN’S HERE TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A BUGLESCRATCHING DICKSHIT.”  
  
Karkat gives you a look telling you to continue. “Uh yeah. I’m sorry Kan. I wwas bein’ a real pretentious asshole. I’m sorry, for evveryfin.”  
  
Her glare lightens, that’s a good sign. She walks forward until she stands a foot away from you. She drops her glare and sighs. “Fine Eridan, I Forgive You.” Somehow even more relief floods your system. “But Do Not Hurt Him Again. For That Will Most Likely Be Your Last Mistake.”  
  
You swallow and nod at her. “I should be goin’ noww. Let you two get back to pilin’.” You see them both blush after you call them out on their activities for the night. “Talk to ya later. Havve fun you two.” Their blood takes over their faces, green and red respectively, as a larger blush fills their cheeks.  
  
You throw your hand back in a waving gesture and make your way to your own hive. You go up to the eleventh floor where your hive is. Floor eleven is the seadweller floor, thus there are only a few other trolls on the same floor.  
  
You take out your key and open up the door to your hive and close it behind you. Karkat is still your friend and Kanaya is giving you another chance. You are still trying to wrap your head around that fact. You couldn’t even convince yourself there was a chance they’d forgive you, but they have. You’re not gonna blow the second chance you got.  
  
You finish up the homework you got today then head to your recuperacoon. You hang up your scarf and cape, then peel off the rest of your clothing. You sink yourself in the cool slime of the recuperacoon. The sopor slime that you are using is different from the stuff they had on Alternia. They couldn’t replicate authentic sopor slime so they manufactured the closest thing they could get to it. It still works in driving away nightmares and letting you fall into a deep sleep.  
  
You wake up the next morning to the sound of your alarm. You slip out of your recuperacoon, grab a towel, and head for the absolution block to get ready for the day.  
  
You’re running your fingers through your hair to make it look just right. You’re reminded of Roxy’s fingers threading through your hair in a similar fashion. You refocus at your reflection to see a smile on your face, you decide to leave it there.  
  
You grab your school supplies and start your long trek to the bottom floor. You’re currently waiting for the bus to come. It’s an overcast day out, it’s not too hot because of a chill breeze blowing through. You check the weather app on your phone, it's going to rain later.  
  
You look up from your phone towards the loud voice coming from next to you.  
  
“YOU BETTER NOT RUN THIS TIME FUCKASS.” You turn around and see Karkat with a scowl in his eyes, his mouth however betrays him with a slight upturn of his lips.  
  
“Yeah good mornin’ ta you too Kar.” You give him a smirk and any faint trace of a smile he had has disappeared completely and replaced with his usual full-face scowl.  
  
Kanaya follows close behind Karkat and looks you up and down. “Seriously Eridan? That Cape With Those Pants. I Find The Cape In General To Be Completely Pointless And The Only Addition It Could Possibly Add To Your Outfit Would Be Negative, But You Could Have At Least Paired It With Pants That Fit the Same Theme. You Look Like Super Villain From Waist Up And College Hippy From Waist Down.”  
  
You roll your eyes. “Kan the cape’s a staple at this point, an’ the pants look good in anyfin.”  
  
The bus comes to a stop behind you as you’re talking. Kan passes you and pats your shoulder with a solemn shake of her head. “Oh Eridan, You Misguided Soul.”  
  
Karkat starts following behind Kanaya while looking at you with a shit-eating grin.  
  
You huff in annoyance then quickly go after them.  
  
Karkat and Kanaya end up sitting in about the middle of the bus, sharing a seat on the larger side. You take the smaller seat on the other side so you can face them.  
  
It’s pretty awkward for the first couple minutes, you haven’t really spoken to anyone on the bus for a while. Karkat breaks the silence first with a question pointed at you. “SO WHAT THE FUCK KICKED YOUR PAN HARD ENOUGH TO START TALKING TO US AGAIN.”  
  
“Wwell a friend I met a feww days ago told me ta bite the bullet and apologize ta both a you.”  
  
Karkat looks completely flabbergasted. “HOLY SHIT. YOU MADE A FRIEND. IT MUST BE TWELFTH PERIGEE’S EVE BECAUSE THIS HAS TO BE A TWELFTH PERIGEE’S EVE MIRACLE.  
  
Kanaya, behind Karkat from your angle, rolls her eyes. “Who Is The Friend That Brought On This Sudden Change?”  
  
“Her name’s Roxy Lalonde.” Kanaya seems to perk up at the mention of her name. “You knoww Rox?”  
  
Kanaya shakes her head. “No I do Not Know Roxy But I Am Friends With The Other Lalonde, Rose.” You swear you see a smidge of jade on Kanaya’s face.  
  
It’s now Karkat’s turn to roll his eyes. “JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.”  
  
You explain to Karkat and Kanaya what happened yesterday, starting from after you ran away from them.  
  
“SHE DID WHAT?” You had just told Karkat about the times Rox has let your head rest on her shoulder or when she ran her fingers through your hair. Kanaya is blushing furiously and straightening out her skirt often throughout the part where Roxy touched your horns. Touching the horns of a troll is an incredibly intimate gesture, usually between already existing moirails.  
  
Once you’re finished Karkat audibly sighs. “HUMANS ARE SO FUCKING IDIOTIC I SWEAR TO GOG.”He points a claw at you. “YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY SO FUCKING PALE FOR HER.” You feel blood rush to your face, you nod your head. “HUMANS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT YOU’RE INTERESTED IN THEM UNLESS YOU MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, ESPECIALLY SO WITH NON-FLUSHED QUADRANTS.”  
  
You sigh along with him. “Yeah she probably has no clue I havve any sort a feelin’s for her.” You put your head in your hands in frustration. “I mean do humans evven do moirallegiance.”  
  
Karkat shrugs. “I DON’T KNOW. IT’S DIFFERENT FOR EACH HUMAN. SOME DO, SOME DON’T. BUT THE ONLY WAY YOU’LL KNOW IF SHE WILL, IS IF YOU GET OFF YOUR SADNESS ASSHOLE TRAIN AND ASK HER OUT!”  
  
You wave your hands in front of you to hopefully get Karkat to not scream your relationship problems across the whole bus. “Yeah yeah fine I’ll do it. I’ll ask her out next good chance I get.”  
  
The bus comes to a stop and all the trolls filter out. You walk with Karkat and Kanaya towards the building of Homestuck Academy. The academy is a large white building with four floors. The school’s symbol is a house that's sectioned off into four parts. From what you can tell it holds no significant meaning whatsoever.  
  
You see Roxy and Rose walking from in front of you. You point them out to Kar. “That’s Rox, the tall one.”  
  
“SERIOUSLY DUDE?” He points to you and then to Roxy. “ERIDAN LET ME PUT THIS AS NICELY AS I CAN. YOUR RUDE ASS DOESN’T STAND A FUCKING CHANCE WITH HER.”  
  
“Hey that’s not true. We had that feelin’s jam an’ she called me cute one time.”  
  
You try and defend yourself but Karkat scowls and continues his attack. “ERIDAN, HUMANS DON’T UNDERSTAND THE IMPLICATIONS OF PALE GESTURES. FOR EXAMPLE I THOUGHT JOHN AND JADE WERE MOIRAILS WHEN I FIRST SAW THEM.” He makes a disgusted face, “THEY KEPT HUGGING AND CARING FOR EACH OTHER. THEY WHOLE VIBE THEY GAVE OFF FUCKING REEKED OF MOIRALLEGIANCE. WHEN I ASKED THEM ABOUT IT THEY BOTH DENIED ANY ROMANTIC INVOLVEMENT WITH EACH OTHER.”  
  
You expect Kanaya to chip in to agree with Karkat. You were right. “I Agree With Karkat. They Looked Like A Very Old Pale Couple With Their Squabbles And Affection.” Kanaya shrugs, “It Seems I Was Too Quick To Assume They Were Together In That Manner. They Swiftly Told Me I Was Incorrect And That Was Just How Human Friends Acted Towards One Another.”  
  
Your heart sank. All those pale things you did with her. They were just normal friend things for her. You’re just one of her friends in her eyes. All your hope of her agreeing to be your moirail just broke. Your shoulders sink and you try to hold back the tears that are forcing their way out.  
  
Karkat seems to notice the shift in your demeanor because he immediately backpedals. “SHIT SHIT FUCK THAT’S NOT WHAT WE MEANT. WHILE IT’S TRUE THAT HUMANS USUALLY DON’T DO MOIRALLEGIANCE,” not helping Kar, “THAT DOESN’T MEAN ALL DON’T. SHE COULD STILL WANT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL IF YOU ASK HER.”  
  
You stop him there, “Kar ya said it yourself. Humans don’t have pale feelin’s. She just sees me as another one a her human friends.” You shrug your shoulders, “it’s not like I had any hope a bein’ wwith her anywway.” At this point you have all already entered the school. You turn right in the opposite direction of Kanaya and Karkat. “I gotta get ta class, catch ya later Kar and Kan.” You wave and hurry away towards your first period class.  
  
Karkat just proved all your fucking fears. Roxy is just your friend, your human friend, who you are so incredibly pale for and she will never feel the same way. Yup this is fine. When did you start crying. You quickly wipe the tears off of your face and try to look fine. She’s at least your friend, you can be her friend. You like hangin’ out with her and shouldn't ruin it with your romance failures. You have history as your first class, and Roxy is in that class.  
  
You just stuff all of your romantic feelings towards her and push them deep, deep down and step into the classroom.  
  
The second you walk in Roxy waves you down and motions you to go sit in the back with her. She’s wearing a similar outfit as yesterday, her signature white shirt with a pink cat and a purple scarf. The second you sit down she starts talking. “Didja talk to him yet Eri?”  
  
You nod, “yup. I apologized for bein’ an asshole and then for ignorin’ him, or runnin’ awway from him is probably more accurate. He then told me I wwas actin’ like an idiot and hugged me.”  
  
“Awww Eri!” She gives you a brief hug that starts up the flutters in your heart, which you shove back down. “Ya did it Eri. Told ya it’d work out with him.”  
  
“Yup you wwere right. How’d thins’ go wwith your friends?”  
  
She looks like she’s about to respond but Mr. Droogs cuts her off by beginning class and glaring at you. You scramble to take your stuff out and start class.  
  
About halfway through class you feel your phone buzz. You discreetly take it out and see a message from someone on pesterchum.  


tipsyGnostalgic  started pestering  caligulasAquarium at 8:21

TG: yo erriiii  
CA: rox?  
CA: that you  
TG: lmao  
TG: course its me eri  
CA: wwhy are you textin me  
CA: im sittin right next ta you  
TG: OMG  
TG: eri u still do ur accent while texting  
TG: thats hilarious!  
TG: also droog would be like suuuuuper pissed if he caught us talkin  
CA: yeah sounds aboat right  
CA: so howwd it go wwith your friends yesterday  
TG: it went way better than expected  
TG: they forgave me like immediately  
TG: although it was a little awkward with dirk  
TG: it turned out ok were all friends still  
CA: rox that’s great  
CA: im happy for ya  
TG: aww thanks!  
TG: we should probs pay attention to class  
TG: i think droogs catchin on to our sneak textin  
CA: yeah good idea

tipsyGnostalgic  stopped pestering  caligulasAquarium

You put your phone away and look up to Mr. Droog glaring at you while writing something on the board. You scramble to write down everything that you miss and see Roxy doing the same next to you.  
  
The class ends and you and Roxy head out of the classroom and make your way to physics. You’re stopped by someone calling out Roxy’s name. You see a short girl with short black hair and glasses. “Omg Janey!” Roxy yells and runs over to hug the girl.  
  
The other girl hesitates at first then returns the hug with a few friendly pats on the back. “Good to see you again Roxy.” Jane looks past Roxy and to you, standing there like an idiot. “And who’s this boy.”  
  
Roxy quickly backs up from the hug and motions to you. “Janey, this is my new friend! His name’s Eridan Ampora and he likes fish puns and is a total wizard nerd.”  
  
“Hey there’s more ta me than fish puns an likin’ wwizards.”  
  
Jane just laughs and stretches out a hand to you. “Well if you’re a friend of Roxy’s then I guess I will learn more about you in the future.” You take her hand and shake it. She then looks at you quizzically, “you were the troll that was yelling at Roxy in physics and at lunch weren’t you?”  
  
You feel violet and embarrassment rush to your cheeks. “Uh yeah that wwas me, sorry aboat that.”  
  
Her eyes narrow and her grip strengthens. “A few well placed fish puns won’t win me over buster.”  
  
Roxy steps in between you and her and breaks up the handshake. “Jane c’moooon, Eri’s a good guy I promise! He helped me a lot yesterday.”  
  
Jane seems to back down and all three of you go to physics class together. Physics class goes normally, the class had to work on a few textbook pages. You, Jane, and Roxy all worked together and were done pretty fast. So you spent most of the class messing around. Jane seemed to warm up to you a bit, but she still cast a few suspicious looks at you from time to time.  
  
Physics ends and you, Jane, and Roxy all go separate ways. You usually fear heading to math due to Kanaya and her Maryam Glare. But now you and Kan are cool, so you’re kind of looking forward to it. Most of your interactions with Kanaya have been either her auspiticing between you and Sollux, or her awkwardly being there while you talked with Karkat. So you would like to get to know her better.  
  
You get into math class with Mr. Slick. Kanaya is already in there and has an empty seat next to it so you slide into it. “Uh hey there Kan,” you give a slight wave.  
  
She remains facing forward with her hands on her desk while she speaks to you. “Hello Eridan.”  
  
Shit. She’s still pretty mad at you. Welp, here goes nothing. “Kan I just wwanted to say thank you.” She turns to you and raises an eyebrow. “For bein’ there for Kar. I knoww you’re his moirail and that’s your job, an’ you’re pretty damn good at it ta boot. So thanks for takin’ care a him is wwhat I’m tryin’ ta say.”  
  
She waits there for a moment, then puts her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “Oh Now I Know What It Is Like For Other People When I Am Rambling.”  
  
You roll your eyes, “yeah sure. Your ramblin’s usually go on for another minute or fivve.”  
  
She rolls her eyes back. “Let Me Guess, You Chose The Number Five To Demonstrate Your Accent.”  
  
You grin at her, showing her your fangs. “Oh Kan you knoww me so wwhale.”  
  
Mr. Slick calls you out for talking, “if you two keep talkin’ I’ll have to make sure you never talk again.” As he says this he motions to his belt of knives. You briefly wonder how the school lets him carry those around, maybe the principal is afraid of him too.  
  
You and Kanaya shut up after that, and that gave you time to reflect on what you were doing. Were you and Kanaya… black flirting? It sure as hell sounded like it. Maybe her hate for you is a lot less platonic than you thought. And you were sure as hell flirting with her back.  
  
Your reflecting is interrupted by a note appearing on your desk. It’s written with a jade pen and reads: While We May Have Gotten Sidetracked I Do Appreciate Your Original Sentiment About My Moirail Karkat And I Say Thank You And That You Should Not Have Worries About Him In The Future I Will Keep Him Safe Unless We Are Forcefully Separated In That Case I Will Get To Him As Fast As Possible To Make Sure He is Safe And Sound As The Humans Say From Kanaya Maryam The Woman Currently Sitting Next To You In Math Class  
  
Oh gog. You just know that she made her note as wordy as possible, and of course without any punctuation. You look over to her and she is giving you a toothy grin of her own. Well two can play at that game. You uncap your violet colored pen and start writing. Wwhale Im glad that you twwo havve such a heelthy relationship. As you knoww Kar’s one a my best fronds, so im glad that he shares such a wwonderful pale relationship wwith yourshellf.  
  
Kanaya’s face is in a strong pout the entire time she’s reading your note. Once she has finished your note she rips out another piece of paper and starts hastily scribbling another note with her jade colored pen.  
  
This goes on throughout the entire period. You and Kanaya end up with satisfactory grins, you suspect that you both had a fun time with your note passing. You felt black feelings in your body throughout all of math class as you two tried to annoy each other as much as possible.  
  
That was fun. You haven’t black flirted with anyone in a long time, and Kanaya was easily the most fun one yet. The only other people you’ve black flirted with were Vriska and Sollux. You and Vriska were kismesises for a while, before she broke it off because you were too busy being sad after your breakup with Feferi to have the energy for a kismesissitude. Black flirting with Sol always got a bit too rough so Kanaya had to step in and be the auspistice, which she has a knack for you gotta say. You bet having to get between you and Sol all the time annoyed her a ton, which fills you with pride.  
  
Today’s actually been pretty good. Most days for you are not, so this comes as a pleasant surprise. You wonder if the rest of the day will go as smoothly as this.


	9. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan gets persuaded to tell Roxy how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for being late on the update! D:  
> I was really busy yesterday and wanted to make sure this chapter was good, so I hope you like it. :)

Your name is surprisingly still Eridan Ampora. You don't know why that would be surprising, your name has always been Eridan Ampora. Enough of that, you just left math class and go to continue your day.  
  
The day goes about normal until lunch. You don’t have any friends in the classes between math and lunch so you just took notes or texted Roxy during those periods. Unsurprisingly Roxy is on her phone constantly during school and has never failed to text you back during any one of your periods. You and her mostly talked about how boring the teachers in this school are, or what her friends were doing. In Roxy’s art class that she has with Jake he apparently spent the whole class drawing a character from Avatar instead of a still life like what he was supposed to do. In her math class her friend Dirk spent the class talking to a big troll named equius. You told her you kind of know equius. You’ve seen him around, he mostly likes robots, horses, and his own strength. She responded with “lol theyll get along so well then.”  
  
You enter the chaos that is the lunch room. There are a ton of humans and trolls messing around, eating, and talking with one another. You start for your usual table in the back corner when you hear Roxy from behind you. “Hey Eri come sit with us over here!”  
  
You turn around and see Roxy waving at you sitting at a table with a few other people. The first you know as Jane who you already met. The other two, you assume, are Jake and Dirk. Dirk is wearing a black tank top with a picture of a hat on it. He has stupid looking pointy shades and gelled up pointy hair. He has one arm loosely wrapped around Jake, who is slightly taller than Dirk with messy black hair and glasses.  
  
The table they are sitting at is round, with Jake still in between Jane and Dirk on one side, with Roxy now sitting next to Jane. It seems that Roxy, Dirk, and Jake bought hamburgers from the school, while Jane brought her own lunch of a sandwich and a slice of cake from home.  
  
You approach the table and sit next to Roxy, away from everyone else on the circular table. Roxy introduces you. “Guys, this is Eridan. Eridan, this is Jake and Dirk.”  
  
Jake is the first one to act, he reaches out a hand for a handshake with a big smile on his face. “Hello there Ampora! It’s spectacular to meet you! I’ve never met a troll before.”  
  
Your face scowls at the comment, Roxy immediately notices this and places her hand on your thigh. Your body quickly relaxes from her touch.  
  
You slowly reach your hand out and shake it. The second your hands touch, he shakes your hand with excitement. “Yeah I’m Eridan Ampora, Rox’s friend.”  
  
Jake removes his hand from you and points at you. “Oh I already know about you chum! Roxy told me all about you in art class!” Jane and Dirk’s eyebrows raise and they look at Roxy after hearing that. Roxy, in turn, hid her face in her scarf to hide her face.  
  
You wonder what Roxy told Jake about you. You’ve only known her for a day, and during that time you yelled and cried with her a lot. You also had a lot of fun together and you think you helped her. Fuck. Now you’re just thinking about piling with her.  
  
You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Roxy coughing and then speaking. “Anywayyy, Eridan that’s Dirk.”  
  
You remember that Dirk was the one Roxy had a flush crush on, but he only likes guys. You try and hide your scowl as you reach out your hand for him to shake. He looks down at it, then shakes your hand. His grip is also incredibly strong. After you two shake hands you pull yours away. “Jegus wwhy are all a you have such a strong grip?”  
  
Dirk shrugs, “I workout.”  
  
Jake puts his hands on his hips and strikes a heroic pose, “I go out on adventures!”  
  
Jane finished the bite of her sandwich, “my dad taught me a strong grip made a good impression.”  
  
Roxy leans back in her chair and kicks up her feet, “lol I play tons of video games.”  
  
“Playin’ vvideo games all the time doesn’t givve you grip strength.”  
  
Roxy retorts with, “does too.”  
  
You wave your hands as you argue, “howw? There’s no reason ta put any pressure on the controller ta play any vvideo game. Howw can it make your grip strength better?”  
  
Roxy puts her feet back on the ground and leans towards you. “I just got the skillz to pay da billz Eri.”  
  
You shake your head and facepalm. “Rox, skills got nothin’ ta do wwith howw hard ya hold the remote.”  
  
“Then how else did I get these guns, Eri?” She follows up the statement by flexing her arm. She's got more muscle than you thought in her small arms.  
  
Roxy’s ‘gun show’ is interrupted by a deep voice from the other side of the table. “Excuse me, may my moirail and I sit with you?”  
  
You look over and see the towering figure of Equius Zahhak flanked by the miniature figure of Nepeta Leijon. Equius is at least six and a half feet tall, Nepeta barely reaches five feet tall. Eq is wearing a tank top with his sign on it with grey pants, Nep is wearing a long green coat over her black shirt and pants, along with a blue hat over her hair. Overall they are complete opposites, and from what you remember they had a picture perfect moirallegiance.  
  
The question Equius asked was aimed at Dirk. Dirk responded by nodding and saying, “yeah go ahead.”  
  
Equius sits down next to Dirk in a chair that looks far too small for him. Nepeta jumps in a chair next to him and a little away from you. It seems Nepeta just noticed you because her smile grew and she scooted her chair to be next to you. “Eridan! I thought it was inpurrrobable that you’d come to this school!”  
  
“Oh Nep, I didn’t knoww you came ta this school either. Wwhale I figured you did after I heard Equius goes here.”  
  
Equius is currently talking to Dirk about robots and fighting from what you pick up in their conversation. Dirk has released Jake from his grasp but has remained nearly connected at the waist. Jake started talking with Jane about what Jane has baked up. You make a note to ask her about her baking skills, you’ve never been into baking before but it could be a new skill to add to your repertoire. Meanwhile you and Nepeta are talking about what it’s like to switch to a new school, with Roxy interjecting with jokes or laughing at Nepeta’s cat puns.  
  
During your conversation with Nepeta, Equius was eyeing you through the corner of his sunglasses. You’re having a conversation about the human teachers they have at the school and Nepeta said that Mr. Droog wasn’t that bad, to which you replied,”are ya kiddin’? He alwwaves calls me out for bein’ late or not doin’ the homewwork. Mr. Deuce is pretty wweird but at least he isn’t a stickler for the rules.”  
  
“Eri if you ever did the homework maybe he wouldn’t call you out on it.”  
  
You point a finger at Roxy. “Rox, you don’t do the homewwork either, and get yelled at all the time for bein’ on your phone. Howw’re you defendin’ him?”  
  
Nepeta giggles, “Eridan it’s purrobably beclaws she respects people, while you’re stubborn and talk back.”  
  
“What do ya mean I don’t respect people? I respect people all the time.”  
  
Equius turns his head in your direction. He then growls at you and clenches his fist. He must’ve heard the disagreement you were having with Nepeta and your voice raising up.  
  
You immediately quiet yourself and sink back into your chair. Nepeta hears Equius growl and spins her head in his direction. “Equihiss! You can’t just go growling at people I disagree with.”  
  
Equius stops growling, and starts sweating profusely. “But Nepeta, I do not trust this seadweller. You should not speak with him.”  
  
You’re about to get mad at Equius but Roxy manages to beat you to it. “Hey you shouldn’t just assume Eri’s bad because he has gills. He’s a great guy you gotta just give him a chance!”  
  
The entire table seems to focus on Roxy’s outburst. Your heart thumps in your chest. Roxy defended you and said you’re great, your last moirail didn’t even go that far. Fuck, you realize there’s no way you’re gonna stop having feelings for her. There’s a stabbing in your chest as you remember that she’ll never be your moirail.  
  
Equius looks from Roxy to Nepeta and seems to give up. “Fine Nepeta, I trust your judgement. You may talk to the sead- Eridan.”  
  
Nepeta smiles and hugs Equius, you imagine that hugging him would be awful due to his sweat covered body, but she still hugs him with fervor. Equius smiles and very gently hugs back, weary that his huge muscles could crush her. It’s a sweet display of pale relations that bring a slight smile to your face. Roxy also seems to be looking on with a goofy grin.  
  
Lunch ends without much else of note happening, everyone went back to their conversations for the last few minutes of lunch before the period ends. Roxy informs you that you have english class with her next period and you two head to the class together. You remember that this is the only class you have with Karkat. You were upset when you first found out he’s in your class, but now you’re glad to be able to talk to him in school.  
  
You and Roxy enter the classroom a little early. You scan the room for Karkat and once you see him you grab Roxy’s hand and sit next to him.  
  
He looks annoyed at first then smiles. “IM GLAD YOU FINALLY GOT SOME SENSE KNOCKED INTO YOUR NOOK SNIFFING ASS.”  
  
You take the seat next to Karkat and sit down. “Yeah kar I knoww I’m an idiot. Ya don’t havve ta rub it in evverytime ya see me.”  
  
“OH I DISAGREE. YOU HAVENT TALKED TO ME IN FUCKING MONTHS I DESERVE TO HOLD THIS OVER YOU FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY. KINGDOMS WILL RISE AND FALL BEFORE I STOP REMINDING YOU HOW MUCH OF A FUCK UP YOU ARE.”  
  
You roll your eyes before Roxy slides into the seat next to you giggling. “Lmao Dave must be rubbing off on you.”  
  
Karkat’s red blood flows into his face and he looks away. “THAT ASS MUNCHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SHOVING MY FOOT UP MY MOUTH.”  
  
Roxy waggles her eyebrows at Karkat. “Oh is Strider munchin’ on your ass?”  
  
You nearly howl with laughter as Karkat’s entire face lights up as he stutters to try and deflect his embarrassment. “Nice one Rox.” You hold up your hand and Roxy instinctually high fives it.  
  
Embarrassing Karkat is interrupted by the hulking figure of the teacher stumbling through the doors. Mr. Boxcars is at least seven feet tall and has huge muscles to boot. Everyone wonders why the hell he is even a teacher anyway.  
  
He honestly couldn’t care whether or not students behave in class, as long as they finish their work so he doesn’t get in trouble. He gives all the students an excerpt and some questions to do in class. Karkat gets to work immediately, scanning the writing and taking notes. You are doing a once over on the excerpt then you’re gonna answer the questions. Roxy skimmed the piece and has already started answering the questions.  
  
Roxy puts down her paper and leans over your desk to non-discreetly whisper to you. “Hey Eri wanna play tic-tac-toe?”  
  
“Rox, wwhy do you wwanna play tic-tac-toe? I havven’t evven finished yet.”  
  
She slumps her upper body on your desk and looks up to you with her big pink eyes. “Awwww Eri c’moooonnn. It’ll be fun!”  
  
You give in to her pleading with a sigh. “Fin Rox, I’ll play.”  
  
She pumps her fist into the air dramatically. She scrambles in her bag then places a piece of paper in between your desk and makes the tic-tac-toe grid. With a sly grin she takes the first move by filling in the top right corner with an x.  
  
You scoff, “C’mon Rox evveryone knowws the middle spot’s the most important one.” You scribble a circle in the middle square.  
  
Her grin has yet to leave her face as she draws another x on the bottom left square, opposite from her first move.  
  
Since she’s been going for the corners you decide to do the same, marking the top left corner with an o.  
  
Her grin only intensifies when she stops your win by placing an x in the bottom right square. You realize you’re fucked because she has two possible ways to win in one move.  
  
You say shit under your breath, Roxy breaks into laughter. You scowl and fill in the middle right square.  
  
Roxy dramatically draws a large x in the bottom middle square and wins the game with a celebratory fist pump. “Let’s go again, my movve first this time.” She agrees and you start the game with an o in the middle. Roxy places an x in the top right. You put an o in the bottom right. She puts an x in the top left to prevent you from winning. You put an o in the top middle to prevent her win. She puts an x in the bottom middle. You put an o in the left middle. She puts her x in the right middle. You put your o in the bottom left, a tie.  
  
It keeps going like this, Roxy winning or tying whenever she went first, and you always tying when he went first. After about twenty or so games you managed to finally win one where you started, three os on the top row. Roxy turns to you to congratulate you. “You did it Eri!”  
  
“Shell yeah I did.” She giggles at your pun. You check the time on your phone and realize class is almost over. “Shit shit shit.” You never finished your work. You quickly look back at it and scribble down any answer you can think of to finish as fast as possible, Roxy’s laughter only gets louder but she does give you some of the answers between laughs. Karkat finished a couple minutes ago and is now also laughing at your idiocy.  
  
The bell rings and you frantically write the last answer and turn it in. You and Roxy part ways outside of the classroom as you go to study hall and Rox goes to gym.  
  
All of study hall is spent working on homework for your classes or messing around on your phone. You texted Karkat and you two agreed to hang out since Kanaya was busy this afternoon.  
  
After the last period you don’t see Roxy at all on your way to the bus. You get on and sit across from just Karkat. You both decide that a movie would be fun. You like to joke about how cheesy all of Kar’s movies are but you secretly enjoy them.  
  
You and Karkat proceed to enter the apartment building and enter Karkat’s hive. The first noticeable thing is his giant shelf full of movies, mostly rom-coms you assume. He has an L shaped couch sitting in front of a TV. As with most hives here nothing is too expensive as tenants are only supplied with meager allowances provided by charities and government funds. Karkat heads to the kitchen and asks, “IM ASSUMING YOU DIDN'T ASK ROXY OUT.”  
  
You go straight for his couch in front of the TV. “Wwhy wwould ya say that, I could’vve asked her out.”  
  
Karkat sighs and pulls a bag of microwave popcorn off of his shelf. “BECAUSE IF YOU DID ASK HER OUT, YOUR BONY ASS WOULDN'T BE SITTING ON MY COUCH.”  
  
Ouch that stings. You sigh and throw your head back. “Ugh Kar I can’t. I don’t wwant thins’ to be wweird betwween us. I enjoy hangin’ out wwith her, an’ I don’t wwant that ta stop.” You roll over to your side to face Karkat. “She probably wwouldn’t evven wwant a moirallegiance,” you mumble through the couch.  
  
Karkat throws the bag in the microwave and pushes the popcorn button. “WELL YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY FUCKWAD.”  
  
“Wwell it’s not like there’s evver a good time for it. I can’t just wwalk up ta her and ask her to be in one a my wweird troll quadrants.”  
  
Karkat sighs and leans on the kitchen counter. “FIRST OF ALL, FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN AND HEARD SHE’S NOT GOING TO BERATE YOU FOR ASKING HER TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL. SECONDLY, YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST GO TO HER HIVE AND ASK HER OUT.”  
  
“Ugh Kar this ain’t one a’ your romance movvies. Plus I don’t evven owwn a car, an’ I don’t knoww any trolls that do.”  
  
The microwave beeps and Karkat pulls the bag out of it. “I CAN GET MY MATESPRIT TO DRIVE YOU THERE.”  
  
Karkat dumps the popcorn bag into a bowl and walks to sit on the couch with you. “Your matesprit has a car?”  
  
He falls on the couch next to you. “YEAH, MY MATESPRIT’S A HUMAN NAMED DAVE.”  
  
“Wwait Kar, you’re datin’ a human?” Before you stopped talking Kar would about how stupid humans were and that he’d never want them in any of his quadrants. “I thought you nevver wwanted to date a human, wwhat’s changed?”  
  
He stuffs some popcorn into his mouth and starts digging for a movie. “THE ASSHOLE GREW ON ME. I MET HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL BECAUSE HIS SISTER AND KANAYA ARE FRIENDS. HE LOVED PISSING ME OFF AND TELLING STUPID JOKES ALL THE TIME. THEN OUT OF THE BLUE HE ASKED ME OUT.” A slight blush rises to his face. “HE’S AN ASSHOLE BUT HE’S SURPRISING REALLY NICE THOUGH.”  
  
He pulls out a movie and you smile at him. “Wwell I’m glad ya fin-ally found a matesprit.”  
  
Karkat returns the smile, his having a slightly more sinister grin to it. “YEAH AND HE’S GONNA DRIVE YOUR ASS TO GET YOU A MOIRAIL SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO ME WITH ALL YOUR BULLSHIT PROBLEMS.”  
  
Before you can argue he has his phone to his ear and someone picks up on the other side. “HEY ASSHOLE CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR, MY FRIEND NEEDS A RIDE TO LALONDE’S.” You can only hear Karkat’s half of the conversation, but it didn’t sound like he just said yes. “WHAT NO, FUCK YOU. DAVE I SWEAR TO GOG, JEGUS, AND ALL THOSE CRAZY BATSHIT HORRERTERRORS LALONDE BELIEVES IN THAT I'M GOING TO TEAR MY SHAME GLOBES OUT AND STUFF THEM DOWN MY THROAT UNTIL I SHIT THEM OUT TO FEED INTO YOUR MOUTH UNTIL YOU SUFFOCATE ON THEM BEFORE I SAY ANY OF THAT!” Karkat sighs and lowers his voice, which is still way above normal speaking level. “FINE. YOU’RE COOL AND NOT THE WORST ORGANISM IN MY LIFE.” The screaming starts back up when Karkat says with a red face, “I SAID ORGANISM ASSHOLE!”  
  
Karkat angrily shoves his phone in his pocket, while you’re barely containing your laughter. He glares at you and you crack up more. “HE’LL BE HERE IN TWENTY MINUTES. UNTIL THEN YOU’RE GOING TO WATCH THIS MOVIE AND EAT SOME POPCORN, BULGE MUNCHER.”  
  
Until then you watch the movie with Kar and eat popcorn. The main character just met the love interest, and it is not going well, when Karkat gets a text on his phone. “HE’S HERE. HE’S THE ASSHOLE IN THE BRIGHT RED TRUCK RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BUILDING.”  
  
You get up and head to the door before waving and smiling at Kar. “Thanks Kar. I hope it goes wwell.”  
  
His lips twinge upwards, “I HOPE IT GOES WELL TOO ERIDAN. AND THAT YOU DON'T FALL ON YOUR ASS WHEN YOU ASK HER AND GET SUCKED INTO YOUR DEPRESSIVE VOID AGAIN.” He points his finger at you and scowls. “AND IF SHE’S AN ASSHOLE ABOUT IT I’LL COMPLAIN AND SCREAM HER EARS OFF.”  
  
With one more smile you exit Karkat’s hive and descend down the stairs and out of the apartment building.  
  
You look around for a moment before you hear a loud honk from one of the cars parked a little away from you. A garishly red truck sits with a blonde boy with sunglasses leaning out of the window. He gives you a short wave and honks the horn again. “Yeah yeah I’m comin’ I’m comin’.”  
  
You open the door and slip inside his truck. He nods his head, “sup.”  
  
“You’re Dave? Karkat’s matesprit?” You buckle your seatbelt and Dave starts the car. His face is mostly obscured by his obnoxious sunglasses, the rest of his face is stoic and unmoving. He’s got to be related to Dirk in some way.  
  
“Yup the one and only. I’m sure Karkat’s told you all about how cool I am, if you haven’t noticed I’m the coolest kid on the block, nah scratch that, the coolest kid on every block.”  
  
Damn this kid talks.“No wwonder you’re datin’ Kar, ya both lovve hearin’ your owwn vvoice.”  
  
He fumbles adjusting his sunglasses. “Yeah well you see, the difference between me and Karkitty is that I’m the coolest thing since Antarctica during the ice age. And he’s just the cute angry guy I keep around as a foil to my awesomeness.”  
  
“Ha, I see Karkat’s cuteness gets through your cool guy image.”  
  
You see red rush to his face and he readjusts his sunglasses again. He stumbles in his words for a bit before deciding to say, “so uh how do you know karkat?”  
  
You recognize it as a deflection but you answer the question anyway. “I kneww Kar from… mutual friends on the ship ta Earth. Wwe had a fallin’ out a couple months back but I stopped bein’ an idiot an’ started talking ta him again.”  
  
A short laugh escapes the boy’s lips, his face is still facing the road while he talks to you. “Bet he blamed himself for your fallin’ out huh?”  
  
“Yup. Thought I stopped talkin’ ta him because he wwas the one bein’ a bad friend not me.”  
  
A slight smile appears while he talks. “Yeah, that’s just the kind a’ guy he is, always blaming himself for everything. I mean one time I dropped my phone in the toilet mid-conversation, don’t ask, and my phone didn’t work so he thought I got stabbed cuz I was too occupied texting him to not die. He just needs people to take some of the weight off his shoulders and tell him not everything that goes bad in his life is his fault so he can get some sleep. I mean damn, he’s like the opposite of sleepin’ beauty. I mean he’s still beautiful but he gets about ten hours of sleep a week, max. Well guess my awesome moves are keepin’ him up all night.”  
  
Damn you’re kinda impressed how fast his real talk and praising of his matesprit turned into the praising of his pailing maneuvers.  
  
You arrive at Roxy’s hive, Dave sends you off with a cool nod as he drives off. You walk up to the door of the large house. The grand white door has a small doorbell next to it, which you press with your finger.  
  
You hear the bell from inside go off. You put your hands through your hair to make sure it’s perfect and adjust your scarf and cape.  
  
Wait what are you gonna say ta her. Just ask her to be your moirail. What if she doesn’t know what a moirail is. Should you lead with explaining what a moirail is? Your foot taps impatiently. Shit, what if she’s not home, you press the doorbell again.  
  
You’re about to pull out your phone to ask if she’s home, when the door suddenly opens. Roxy stands there looking disheveled, she’s wearing a loose white nintendo tank-top with pajama shorts with black cats on them. She’s standing in the door a little unsteadily with a big smile and says, “ogm Eri what’re you done here?”  
  
You nervously shift your feet, it’s now or never. “Rox do you knoww wwhat a moirail is?”  
  
She puts her hand to her chin and strokes it. “Isn’t that like the fend quidditch. Quadrant thigy.”  
  
You narrow your eyes and smell something off of her. “Roxy, are you drunk right noww?”  
  
Her smile wavers but still remains upright. “Nooooo. I’m not completly wasted Eri.”  
  
You sigh, “Roxy you’re drunk and you knoww it.”  
  
Her smile disappears and is replaced with a pout. “Yeah I’m a littttlllleeeee durnk. But it’s fine!”  
  
You move to let yourself in and Roxy moves aside for you to enter. “Rox it’s not fine. You’re drinkin’ that swwill and fillin’ your body wwith poison!”  
  
“Eri I’m fine! I just get a little drunk then and now. Now and then lol.” Her eyes narrow towards yours a bit. “It’s not like my mom. I can control it, I just like drinking okay.”  
  
“Roxy that stuff is awwful an’ literally kills people an’ ruins livves. You shouldn’t degrade yourself by drinking that!” You hate that you have to raise your voice to her but you can’t stop yourself, you don’t wanna see her like this.  
  
“Eri I like drinking it and it makes me feel better so I can drink it.”  
  
“Roxy you don’t need alcohol ta make yourself feel better.”  
  
Her bright pink eyes are looking at you with tears starting to run down from them. “Nothing else helps Eri!” She moves her arms outward, “I’m in this huge house and I still feel so empty. When I drink, that void gets filled and I don’t feel as alone anymore.”  
  
Her tears have started readily flowing from her eyes. This is the opposite of what you expected to happen when you came here. “Wwell you’re not alone Roxy! you havve Rose, an’ Jane, an’ Dirk an’ Jake, an’ all your other friends. And I’m here too Roxy, wwe’re all here for you. I care about you, an’ I wwanna help you stop gettin’ drunk anywway I can.  
  
“Eridan we met like yesterday, how can you already say you care that much about me and my problems.”  
  
You give her what you hope is a reassuring smile. “Because wwhenevver I got upset you’d run ta me an’ cheer me up wwith your cute nerdiness an’ your caring vvoice.”  
  
Roxy smiles through her tears and runs to wrap her arms around you in a full hug. “Thanks Eri.” Her hands grip your cape as if she’s trying to keep you in her arms forever. You don’t want to be anywhere else.  
  
You continue hugging her for a few more minutes. She pulls away a little bit and wipes her eyes of tears. “Hey let’s get you sobered up okay?” She nods and you lead her into her kitchen. “Uh I don’t knoww much about human alcohol. Howw do you usually get sober?”  
  
Roxy moves and slides into a bar chair. “Water usually helps.”  
  
You nod and look around for glasses. You notice a lot of liquor bottles on shelves and scowl. You find a big glass and bring it over to the sink. Roxy points to the fridge when you put the glass under the faucet. On the fridge there’s a little place that shoots out water to drink.  
  
You shrug and move over to fill it with the fridge water. You then open the freezer and grab a handful of ice cubes to put into the cup. You hand her the cup and she thanks you again and drinks it all in one go. You take the cup and fill it up again. She drinks about half of the cup, then puts the glass down.  
  
“Eri I think... it is a problem, my drinking.” She’s staring at her half-empty water glass with a tense expression. “I mean it already ruined things with most of my friends once. And Rose has to spend her time takin’ care of me a bunch.” Her eyes have started welling up with tears again. “I am just like her aren’t I.”  
  
You stand behind her and put your hand on her shoulder. “Rox you’re nothin’ like her. I highly doubt your mom wwould evver admit her drinkin’ is a problem, just doin’ that an’ you’re already better than her.”  
  
She gives you a weak smile. “Yeah. You’re right.” She looks up at you and her smile widens a bit. Her eyes have started getting red from crying, but her beautiful pink pupils still stare back at you. You smile. You’re so pale for her, but now is really not the time for that. “I-I’m gonna try and get better Eri. I don’t wanna be a nuisance or a burden to all my friends anymore.”  
  
“I’m proud a’ you. An’ me and I’m sure Rose and your friends are gonna help you in any wway wwe can.” You wrap your arms around her and she leans into your shoulder. You rest your face on the soft mess of blonde on her head. A purr accidentally escapes from your throat but you don’t fight it, you feel too content to care right now.  
  
You release the hug and she goes back to drinking the water from the glass. You pick it up and go fill it, when you hear the door open and slam shut. You look back and Roxy hastily wipes her eyes one more time and heads towards the noise. You hear Roxy’s voice, “Rose are you okay?”  
  
“Yes Roxy I am just peachy,” Rose’s words are filled with anger and sarcasm. You turn out of the kitchen to see Rose in the living room looking livid, walking to the stairway to her room.  
  
Roxy can tell Rose is very upset right now and gets up to follow her to her room. You don’t really think this is your place to step in. You did just step in with Roxy to try and help her, but you know Roxy, and care arguably too much about her well being. Rose is an enigma, you don’t feel even half as confident with trying to help her.  
  
Although you don’t know her that much, you still wonder what happened to her today that made her so upset.


	10. Lalonde Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of a different Lalonde.

Your name is now ROSE LALONDE, which is weird since you’ve never been anyone other than Roxy and Eridan. But you, you’re ROSE LALONDE, and you’ve always been Rose Lalonde.  
  
You, Rose Lalonde, are currently sitting at a lunch with your friends. Those friends are John Egbert, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, and Kanaya Maryam.  
  
John has a big buck toothed grin as he bites into a turkey sandwich while talking to Dave and Karkat about how unironically good Con Air is. Dave is wearing his usual aviator sunglasses and is arguing that even ironically Con Air is the worst movie to ever exist. Karkat has his usual grey sweater, messy hair, and baggy eyes. He’s scowling and telling both Dave and John that their movie tastes are quote, “FUCKING ABOMINATIONS TO FILM MAKERS AND APRECIATIORS ACROSS PARADOX SPACE.” Jade cuts into their conversation now and then with comments on how bad John’s movies are. Jade has long, unruly black hair that sways as she talks.  
  
Kanaya Maryam, the jade blooded troll, is wearing a stunning outfit consisting of a long sleeveless red dress and a black band around her waist with her sign on it. She looks entirely out of place in a school filled with basic jeans and t-shirts. She is looking on at the argument the rest of the table is having with an amused smile, her fangs lie on the top of her lower lip when she smiles. You think it’s adorable.  
  
You’ve been gazing at her for a little too long, you turn your head back to the conversation the table is having before you’re caught. This turns out to be a smart play because John seems to have backed down for now and Dave turns to you with a question. “Hey what happened with Roxy, Dirk was silently freaking out for most of yesterday, then he got a text from Roxy last night and he untensed up. What’s up with that?”  
  
“Roxy had a slight falling out with Dirk and the others, and last night she apologized and they made up.”  
  
Dave tilts his head, “what did your hot sister do to make Dirk Strider himself mad at her.”  
  
Karkat’s scowl shifts towards Dave and he punches Dave’s arm. “I’M SITTING RIGHT HERE ASSWIPE.”  
  
“What. Am I not allowed to say that Rose’s sister is objectively hot,” Dave says as he tries to soothe his injured arm.  
  
Karkat crosses his arm and turns the other way to sulk. “WHAT’S SO HOT ABOUT HER ANYWAY?”  
  
Dave says, stone-faced, “tits.” Karkat flails his limbs angrily in Dave’s direction. You see John out of the corner of your eye blushing furiously and looking anywhere but this conversation.  
  
You decide to double down and make Dave concede first. “So Dave, what about my twin sister’s tits are you so enamored with?”  
  
Kanaya has also started blushing next to you, and you strain not to look at her and absorb her majestic green blush. You see a faint tint of red under Dave’s sunglasses, an evil grin slips onto your face.  
  
Dave stammers for a bit then swallows. He decides to go with, “they’re very... full.”  
  
“Ok can we please stop talking about this.” Surprisingly John cuts in and attempts to put a stop to this conversation topic.  
  
However, you’re not going to let him get away that easily. You turn your gaze to John and his red face. “Oh John, what stake do you have upon my sister’s bosom that gives you the right to put a stop to us conversing about it?”  
  
John’s blush somehow deepens as it looks like his entire head has been coated red. Most of the table has remained silent until Karkat speaks up. “WHY ARE ALL YOU HUMANS OBSESSED WITH CHEST PROTRUSIONS? IT’S PRETTY FUCKING WEIRD, ASSHOLES.”  
  
Dave, seemingly used to replying to Karkat’s screaming, retorts with, “Kittykat you just don’t appreciate the unrivaled beauty that is tits. Tits are like babies looking into the night sky, seeing the endless expanse of the cosmos for the first time. The kid then speaks his first words and says, ‘damn those stars are hot bro.’ Then he grows up and sees his first pair of titties and says, ‘damn those tits are hot bro.’ It’s an endless cycle Karkat.”  
  
“Well you were close on the baby analogy.” You lean back on your chair and tap your nails on the table for effect. “People love breasts because they represent motherly love, and the first memory many people would have in their subconscious would be suckling on their mother's teat. Thus a love of breasts relate to the oedipal complex of wanting to have intercourse with one’s mother.”  
  
Karkat holds his head as if he was feeling an intense headache. “OH MY GOG CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS.”  
  
Most of the table looks uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation, except Jade who’s currently giggling. “Wow Rose you must be the expert in boobs!”  
  
You move your head in a contemplative motion. “I would suggest that Kanaya would be the expert here, seeing how she has the most exquisite set at the table.”  
  
Kanaya looks like she was startled from a trance and her face is nearly shining with Jade. She looks shyly to the side, “Well I Think Your Chest Protrusions Are Quite Nice To Look At As Well.”  
  
Her return of your compliment brings a smile to your face as you look at her. She smiles back in turn, still looking rather shy and cute. Karkat starts making motions akin to clawing his eyes out and vomiting, Dave whistles at you, Jade gives you a big thumbs up, while John is still rather red in the face and looking away.  
  
John coughs to get the table's attention. “Anyway, are you guys coming to my party tomorrow?”  
  
Dave snaps out of his trance and responds. “Dude first off that’s not a party, a party has sick beats being laid down with a dance floor and a bunch of people doing shots or playing beer pong. What we’re doing this Saturday is a bunch of highschoolers having a sleepover like we turned back time and we’re thirteen again and telling each other what boys we like while we braid each other’s hair and stay up past our bedtimes.”  
  
John merely looks at Dave for a moment to see if he’s finished. “So does that mean you’re coming?”  
  
Dave shrugs, “yeah sure why not.” You, along with the rest of the table agree to be at the Egbert’s house on Saturday.  
  
John lightly chuckles to himself. “I’m not gonna tell Jane until tomorrow as a prank to watch her freak out and prepare as much food as possible. She’ll probably invite her friends too, so most likely all of your siblings and Jade’s cousin will be there also.”  
  
“Damn Egbert, are you sure one lowly suburban house can withstand two striders under its roof?”  
  
Karkat jabs Dave’s side with his elbow. “YEAH ONE FUCKING STRIDER IS MORE THAN ENOUGH BULLSHIT AT ONE TIME.”  
  
The whole table laughs while Dave adjusts his sunglasses in a fit of embarrassment.  
  
Lunch passes by with similar conversations rising and falling throughout. When it has finished you grab your things and start for physics with Dave. “Hey Rose,” Dave taps on your shoulder to get your attention during your trek. “So when are you gonna ask Kanaya out? The deal was we both gotta ask out our troll crushes and me and Kittykat’ve been dating for almost a week.”  
  
Last week you pried out of Dave that he had a secret homosexual yearning for Karkat Vantas, in exchange you told him about your similar situation with Kanaya Maryam. He then suggested that both of you should bite the bullet and just ask them out. You agreed on the condition that he went first. Dave has complied with his end of the bargain, you still have yet to complete yours. “I will do it when the time is right. I was actually planning on asking her out later today, in photography class.”  
  
You both enter the classroom and take your usual seats in the back of the class. “Oh damn so how’re you gonna do it? A letter with rose petals? Or better yet you both go to the bathroom during class and you show her a giant sign that says ‘Kanaya Maryam, will you go to the prom with me?’ And she’ll be like ‘Yes Why Of Course I Will Go To The Human Prom With You.’ And then you’ll have sloppy makeouts in the school bathroom.”  
  
You roll your eyes dramatically at Dave. “I think you’ve watched too many of Karkat’s rom-coms. If you must know, I’m going to ask her to accompany me to a café after school today.”  
  
Mr. Deuce, the physics teacher, starts handing back tests. “Nice, very classy.” Dave in what you can tell is a rare moment of sincerity says, “I think she’ll like it, hope it works out with you two,” along with a smile. You’re impressed, Karkat’s over expressiveness must be rubbing off on Dave’s under expressiveness.  
  
You conjure up a slight smile of your own, “thanks Dave.” Your smile quickly turns into a scowl once you see your test grade, B plus. You mutter “shit,” under your breath. Your mother is going to be pissed when she finds out. Science and math are the only subjects your mother cares about, it just so happens to be that those are the two subjects Roxy completely outclasses you in. You bring back perfect grades in english and she waves it off, but god forbid you get an B+ in science.  
  
“Yo Rose you good?” You realize you’ve been staring at your test a little too intensely to be called normal.  
  
You cram the test into your backpack and steady yourself. “Yes I’m fine.”  
  
Dave makes a small noise then shrugs. He then pretends to take notes on the class while texting someone, who you assume is Karkat, under the table. You put the thoughts of your mother in the back of your mind and continue through your school day.  
  
You enter your ninth period photography class to see Kanaya waving at you modestly and Dave with with a knowing head nod along with a thumbs up. You walk past Dave to sit next to Kanaya. You’ve told Dave about your plan to ask Kanaya to go out with you before class, and he agreed to talk to Karkat while you made your move.  
  
Throughout the class you and Kanaya have been making small talk about recent events and John’s upcoming sleepover. Near the end of class you turn to her. You realize you’re a lot more nervous than anticipated. You swallow your nerves and ask her, “Kanaya, would you like to join me at a café after school?”  
  
She looks slightly surprised, then gives you a warm smile. “Yes Rose I Would Love to. I Do Not Know How I Would Get There, Unless You Could Drive Me?”  
  
You nod, “yes that was the initial plan for this evening. I would drive us to the café, we would spend some time there, then I would drive you to your apartment and me to my respective house.”  
  
“Yes, That Sounds Lovely, Thank You.” You return her delightful smile and begin reminiscing about your date plans. This morning you choose an outfit you think she’ll appreciate, a long black dress with a purple waistband and sleeves, and of course your signature skull in white. It might be a little over the top, but considering Kanaya wears glorious dresses to school it shouldn’t be an issue at all.  
  
The last few minutes of school pass through like a breeze and before you know it you and Kanaya are heading towards your car. You open the door for your date and she smiles, thanking you. You enter the car on the driver’s side and start up the engine. Usually you and Roxy drive together to your house, but she didn’t want to get in the way of your date so she got a ride with Dave and Dirk.  
  
You start the short drive to the café and turn towards your passenger. “I must say your dress looks beautiful, meaning it matches you perfectly.”  
  
Kanaya, ever the blushing maiden, replies with, “Why Thank You. Y-Your Dress Is Also Quite Lovely. I’m Not Saying The Person Wearing It Isn’t Just As Lovely As Well Of Course.”  
  
You smile, knowing that your flirting is already starting to fluster her. You’re reminded how adorable Kanaya is when she’s flustered.  
  
“Oh, we’re here.” You arrive at a small café with a few customers at tables inside. You lead Kanaya inside the small shop and to a table by the window. It isn’t the perfect day outside, but you appreciate the clouds obscuring the sun every now and then. You pull out the seat for her to sit down in, she thanks you again with a smile. And they say chivalry is dead. When you two sit down you get a few odd looks from other customers. Kanaya seems to be completely ignoring those looks with grace, as if she’s used to being ogled in public. You appreciate that she doesn’t care what other people think about her, many people would highly disapprove and even harass people in human-troll relationships.  
  
You both look at the menu as the barista comes to take your order. “I’ll Have An Earl Grey Tea.”  
  
The server writes it down and turns to you. “And I’ll have a coffee with cream.” The Barista nods and walks off. “I suspected that you enjoyed tea.”  
  
Kanaya makes a humming sound, “Ah I See. What Else Have You Suspected About Me? If You Are Inclined To Tell Of Course.”  
  
You lean your elbow on the table and let your head fall into your hand. “Well seeing how I have observed your constantly stunning apparel, would I be right to assume you are a seamstress?”  
  
Jade rises to her cheeks and she smooths out her dress in what you assume is a reflexive mannerism due to nervousness. Or maybe you just over analyze things. “Why Yes That Would Be Correct. I Make Most Of My Own Clothing And Create Custom Clothes For Other People As Well, For Payment Of Course.”  
  
The server comes back and hands you both your respective drinks. Both of you give your thanks as she walks to go to another table. “Maybe I could commission an outfit of my own one of these days. I can pay as well, I wouldn’t want to be a detriment to your business.”  
  
Kanaya taps her claws on the table in a rhythm. “Well I Could Always Give You A Special Discount,” she puts emphasis on special in a flirtatious manner.  
  
You slip her a big knowing smile. “That would be lovely Kanaya.” You put the coffee to your lips and blow on it to cool it down. Kanaya performs a similar maneuver with her tea at the same time, that brings a light giggle from both of your lips.  
  
You think this date has been going pretty well so far, Kanaya seems like she’s having a good time and even returning some of your attempts at courting. You believe that it’s time to see if she shares your opinion. “Kanaya are you enjoying our date so far?”  
  
Kanaya nearly spits her drink of her mouth after you say that. She barely swallows it down and replies, “A Date? You Mean Like A Flush Date, Is That What This Is?”  
  
You lift one of your eyebrows, “yes that was what I intended this to be.” You get a sinking feeling deep in your stomach.  
  
Kanaya quickly stands up, disregarding her usual poise in favor of freaking out. “I-I’m Sorry Rose But I... Cannot Be In A Flushed Relationship With You. I’m Sorry.”  
  
She’s about to turn to leave but you get up and try to stop her. “Kanaya, why not? Why can’t you Date me?”  
  
She looks back and you might have seen moisture starting to form in her eyes. “Rose, I’m Sorry But I Just… Can’t.”  
  
She walks away and you don’t even try to stop her, you can’t. You’re frozen where you are. You manage to slip back into your chair. Why can’t she date you. Is she straight, or pressured into being straight. From what you know trolls are all pansexual, and you wouldn’t know of anyone pressuring her into being straight seeing how trolls don’t have parents. Is it because you’re a human, is she disgusted by the thought of dating someone from another species. Troll-human flush relationships aren’t all that common but they’re not unheard of. Hell, even her moirail is dating a human, so it can’t affect her that much can it?  
  
The sinking feeling in your stomach somehow drops even further, you feel like you’re going to puke. You hear a voice from your side, “hey uh, do you want the check?”  
  
From the clock on the wall you realize you’ve been stewing in your misery for a few minutes at least. You get up, grab your wallet, and slam a twenty on the table before storming out of the café.  
  
You don’t know where Kanaya is, or how she is going to get home. But honestly, you do not give a single shit right now. You get in your car and start the long drive back to your house.  
  
The thoughts and questions you had earlier fly around your mind, boiling your sadness into anger rather quickly.  
  
You realize that you’ve already arrived at your house and hop out of the car. Just the sight of the car is pissing you off even more. Your mother wanted you and Roxy to bond more as sisters, so she made you share a car with her. She wanted a pink convertible, you wanted anything but. Your mother decided that Roxy would pick the car and you would pick the color. So now you two share a pitch black convertible. Your mother always favored Roxy because Roxy was more like herself, the two even share the same god damn name.  
  
You slam the door closed behind you as you enter your house. Roxy isn’t the only one in the house as you spot her new troll boyfriend Eridan in the kitchen. You scowl harder, why does she have all the luck, her troll boyfriend isn’t disgusted by the fact she’s a human and he still wants to date her.  
  
Roxy turns away from the bar and asks you, “Rose are you okay?”  
  
Your scowl deepens toward her, “Yes Roxy I am just peachy.” You turn and stomp off to your room. The door slams behind you as you enter, you turn the lock and the door clicks.  
  
You hear knocking a few minutes later, followed by Roxy’s voice. “Hey Rosie, are you sure you’re okay in there? What happened today?”  
  
“Roxy get out, I'm fine. I don't need the help of a drunk!” you hiss at her through the door. You wait a few moments, then hear her footsteps go down the hallway.  
  
You might’ve been a little harsh. But fuck, you feel so frustrated and angry, and that you really want to cry. You hold back your tears and start towards your bed. You notice the box you keep hidden under your bed, fuck it. You get down and slide the box out. You might as well since everything else has already gone to shit.  
  
You flip open the box and pull out one of the liquor bottles you steal from your sister. She keeps tons hidden around the house, you used to take them whenever you find them in a feeble attempt to slow down her drinking.  
  
You have no idea what’s in the bottle but you know it’s alcoholic so it’ll do fine. You open it then press the bottle to your lips and push the bottle up. The liquid fills your mouth as you swallow it down, it tastes disgusting and it burns as it goes down your throat.  
  
After a few more mouthfuls you remove the bottle from your lips and gasp for breath. You don’t really feel very drunk yet, it must not be enough. The tears start encroaching upon your eyes once more, you down another few gulps in response.  
  
You thought the alcohol would help you keep the tears in your eyes, it instead has the opposite effect. Moisture has already started running down your face. You crawl on your bed and curl up into a ball to hide your tears from the outside world, taking sips from the bottle between sobs.  
  
A clicking sound is coming from the door and you turn your head to face it, after a moment the door unlocks and Roxy appears with bobby pins in her hands. “Rocky, I told you I don wanna talk.”  
  
Roxy’s eyes fill with surprise as she takes in the full scene of you with your tear and alcohol ridden body. “Omg Rosie, are you drunk?”  
  
“I’m not drunk. I jus had a little acolol. Alcohol.”  
  
Roxy quickly steps to your side and places a hand on your back. “Rose you’re drunk.” You look up and Roxy is biting her lip and looking pitiful. “What happened with Kanaya, Rose?”  
  
You choke back another sob and everything you’d normally hide just spills out. “Kanaya, sh-she said she does’t wanna date me. She said she couldn’t an’ gave me no rason!” More tears spill out as you clutch the blankets of your bed.  
  
Her hand rubs circles on your back in an attempt to calm you down. “I’m sorry Rose. She’s missing out, anyone would want to be with you. You’re great and I’m sure you’re gonna find someone better.”  
  
You try and smile at her but all that comes out is another sob. “Th-thanks Roxy. I wish she’d jus tell me what I did wong.”  
  
“Rose, you’re a great person. I doubt that you did anything wrong. She said that she couldn’t date you, so the problem is with her not with you.”  
  
You manage to give her a smile successfully this time. “Thank you but, but I’m not a great person. I’ve been a horrible sister to you.”  
  
A dry laugh escapes Roxy’s mouth. “Rose ngl that’s pretty insane. You’ve been the best sister I could ask for. There’s no way I could call you a bad sister when you’re always there for me when I’m drunk and need help.  
  
You look up to Roxy, who’s giving you a reassuring smile to try and cheer you up. You must look horrible, you put a modest amount of makeup on for your date and all of it is currently running down your face along with your tears. “I’m sorry I called you a durnk Roxy. I guess I’m a hipicrite aren’t I?”  
  
“Heh, I guess drinking runs in the family then. But I would be way worse off if you weren’t there to help me whenever I was drunk, so I’m gonna help you as much as I can Rose.”  
  
You reach out and grab Roxy in a hug. “Thank you so muc Roxy. You’re a great sister.”  
  
She wraps her arms around you too and presses you into her. “I’m glad you’re my sister Rose.  
  
Your tears and makeup have started to stain her shirt but her hug never falters. You feel your stomach starting to feel upset from the excess alcohol. “If you’re going to hep me can you get me to the bathroom, I feel sick.”  
  
Roxy releases the hug and stands up. “Oh yeah course, let’s get you up.” She puts her arm around you and stands you up. You two walk down the hall and to the bathroom. She opens the bathroom door and walks you to the toilet. You lean over the toilet, Roxy pulls your loose hairs out of your face as you empty your stomach.  
  
Roxy takes care of your drunk self and brings you and a few water bottles back to your room to help you sober up. After a few minutes of helping you drink water she gets up and says she has to take care of something. The door closes behind her as she leaves your room.  
  
You’re extremely grateful you have Roxy to help you right now. You’re feeling sad, and drunk, and tired, and you feel the start of your hangover banging in your head. If you were still alone right now you’re certain you’d be drinking yourself nearly to death about now.  
  
Your mind wanders back to the failure of a date, what reason could she have to leave and refuse to date you. You stop thinking about that, you fear if you linger on those thoughts too long you could start crying or drinking again. But your curiosity beats you out, what has been going on with Kanaya?


	11. Jadeblooded Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya gets flushed advice from her moirail.

Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you have just ran away from Rose Lalonde while at a café. She had told you that the meeting was a flush date, which spooked you into getting up and walking out as fast as possible. Currently, you are quickly walking back to your hivecluster, you need to talk to your moirail right now. During your trip back to your hive you reminisce about the events of today.  
  
You’re sitting in the school library during the eighth period study hall with Karkat Vantas, your moirail. He’s reading a romance novel featuring human vampires that you have loaned to him the night before, while you are writing an English paper on your laptop about trolls in human society.  
  
About midway through study hall Karkat turns to you and begins to speak. “OK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN LUNCH.”  
  
You look over your laptop to look at him, “Whatever Do You Mean Karkat?”  
  
He slips a bookmark into his book and turns his head toward you to scowl. “YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. YOU LIKE LALONDE RIGHT?”  
  
You feel your face tint slightly, you look down in an attempt to hide it. “No I Do Not Hold Attraction Towards The Rose Human.”  
  
“BULLSHIT, THAT’S GRUBFUCKING BULLSHIT KANAYA AND YOU KNOW IT.”  
  
You sigh and smoothen out your dress. “Even If There Was A Small Possibility That I Have Red Feelings For Rose, It Would Not Work.”  
  
“WHY THE EVER LOVING FUCK NOT?” Karkat realizes his voice might be a tad too loud for a library so he quiets down as much as he physically can. “MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVE IS FINE, AND A TON OF OTHER ASSHATS HAVE WORKING RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN SPECIES.”  
  
“I Just Do Not Wish To Have A Relationship With Her.”  
  
“KANAYA, IF YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER WHY WERE YOU FLIRTING WITH HER DURING LUNCH?”  
  
You’re put on the defensive as he turns his full attention towards getting a straight answer out of you. “I Was Not Flirting, She Gave Me A Compliment And I Merely Returned It. Now May We Please Stop Talking About This.”  
  
Karkat narrows his eyes at you, but you do not yield and after a few moments he grumbles under his breath and starts reading again. You honestly do not know how you feel about Rose, you feel something not unlike flushed feelings towards her. However between you and Rose can never happen, you’re a troll and she’s a human.  
  
Your thoughts are interrupted by the bell ringing. You get up and head towards photography class with Karkat.  
  
At the end of your photography class Rose asked you to go to a local café, you interpreted it as a fun evening with a friend. You found out at the café that Rose had intended it to be a flush date. In response to this you ran away in panic, and are currently running to your hivecluster.  
  
You should probably give Karkat a heads up before going over. You're very emotional right now and need your moirail to help calm you down before you break down.  
  
Thunder cracks above you, a few raindrops fall on your phone as you tap Karkat’s contact with a diamond next to it.  
  
Karkat answers almost immediately, “HEY KANAYA.” He must have heard you hold back a sob as he says, “KANAYA WHAT HAPPENED? WAS IT LALONDE? I SWEAR TO GOG IF SHE DID SOMETHING TO YOU-”  
  
You cut him before he can ramble on for too long. “Karkat No Rose Did Not Do Anything. Can I Come Over To Tell You In Person?”  
  
“YES, YES OF COURSE, I’LL SEE YOU IN THE COUPLE MINUTES THEN. PALE FOR YOU.”  
  
Him saying that brings a smile to your face, he always says this to show his feelings towards you and it never fails to bring a smile to you when he says it. You reciprocate it in turn, “I’m Pale For You Too Karkat.” You end the call and continue walking in the direction of your moirail.  
  
By the time you reach your hivecluster it has started raining quite hard. You go up to the sixth floor and knock on Karkat’s hive. He answers almost immediately, “KANAYA YOU’RE HERE. COME IN, WHAT HAPPENED?”  
  
Karkat moves out of the doorway, you step inside and make your way to his respiteblock. “Karkat May We Um, Go To Our Pile?”  
  
He follows you into his respiteblock, “YES OF COURSE, I ALREADY SET IT UP.”  
  
You nod in thanks. The pile you two share in his hive consists of sweaters you gave him, a few of both of your favorite films covers, all of the movie tickets to movies you two attended, and a blanket with cartoon crabs you sewed him for your anniversary last year.  
  
Since you are the one in need of conciliation currently you let him get into the pile first. He sits atop the pile, right on top of the cartoon crab blanket, and motions for you to lie on his lap. Even after multiple years of being Karkat’s moirail you are still quite bashful when it comes to piling activities. You blush and slip onto the pile and lay the side of your head on his lap.  
  
He immediately starts brushing your hair and horns with his hands, careful not to let his claws hurt your head. You reflexively start purring from your throat due to the pale stimulation.  
  
“SO CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?” Karkat says in a low, comforting voice.  
  
It’s quite difficult to get upset while Karkat is comforting you, but you still feel a twinge of sadness while you recall the events of the evening. “It Was Going Great, It Was Very Fun, Until Rose Broke It To Me That It Was Meant To Be A Flush Date. I Panicked And Fled Without Giving Her A Reason.”  
  
Karkat wraps his hand around your horn to gently massage it with his finger pads. “WHAT IS THE REASON THAT YOU FREAKED OUT ABOUT A FLUSH DATE WITH ROSE?”  
  
You sigh into his lap, “Karkat I Just Cannot Have A Human In My Concupiscent Quadrants.”  
  
“AND WHY’S THAT?”  
  
“Karkat You Know My Ancestor Correct?” He makes a noise of affirmation and you continue. “She Was Called The Dolorosa. She Was The Jade Blooded Troll That Brought The Matriorb, And Thusly The Mother Grub, To Earth.” You take a deep breath, Karkat gives you time and let’s you continue without interrupting. “She Was The One That Made It Possible For Trolls To Reproduce On Earth. She Is My Hero, And I Feel Like I Would Not Be Living Up To My Responsibility As A Jade Blood, Or As Her Descendant, By Having Someone I Could Not Reproduce With In My Concupiscent Quadrants.”  
  
Karkat waits a moment to let what you said sink in. You’ve been feeling this way for a while, you never told Karkat before because you never had flushed feelings for a human before. And you just admitted the feelings for Rose are definitely flushed. Karkat speaks up, “KANAYA, YOU’RE FUCKING AMAZING. YOU’RE INSANELY SMART, AN ACTUAL GRUBFUCKING MASTER IN MAKING CLOTHES, ANYONE TROLL OR HUMAN WOULD BE LUCKY TO BE IN ANY OF YOUR QUADRANTS, I SURE AS HELL AM. AND THERE’S NO WAY YOUR ANCESTOR WOULDN’T BE PROUD OF YOU NO MATTER WHAT. AND IF SHE WAS BULGEFUCKINGLY STUPID ENOUGH TO SAY OTHERWISE, SHE WOULD BE WRONG IN EVERY FACTUAL WAY AND I WILL TALK HER EARS AND EVERY OTHER PART OF HER BODY OFF UNTIL SHE REALIZES HOW STUPID SHE WOULD BE.  
  
You laugh a little at Karkat’s colorful language. “Thank You Karkat,” you reach up and brush your hand on his cheek. He leans into your touch and it quickly warms your hand. Karkat, being a mutant, has incredibly warm blood, running a little warmer than a human’s. The warmth he exudes has always been a comfort to you and you are relishing the body heat you are receiving from his face and lap. You sigh again, “It Is Just… I Do not Know. The Trolls As A Race Are Not Exactly Flourishing On Earth. And The Jade Bloods’ Duty Was To The Mother Grub And To The Continuation Of Our Species. Thus, It Is Quite Literally In My Blood To Aid With The Reproduction Of Our Species.”  
  
“KANAYA, THAT’S ABSOLUTE PAN NUMBING BULLSHIT YOU’RE SPEWING. YOUR HAPPINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR FUCKING SPECIES. I DON’T GIVE A SINGLE MINISCULE FUCK ABOUT OUR SPECIES, AS YOUR MOIRAIL I ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. IF YOU HAVE RED FEELINGS FOR ROSE THAN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ACT ON THOSE FEELINGS. YOUR ONLY RESPONSIBILITY IS TO YOUR OWN HAPPINESS NOT CONTINUING OUR SPECIES OR LIVING UP TO YOUR STUPID ANCESTOR. YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU FEEL, AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.”  
  
You let out all of your feelings in another hearty sigh. “You’re Right Aren't You Karkat?”  
  
You look up from your position at him, he’s giving you the warmest smile he can manage and it’s making you feel all pale in your chest. “YOU’RE BULGEFUCKING RIGHT I’M RIGHT.”  
  
“But You Are Also Wrong About Something.” His face looks confused and you reach up to touch it. “I Also Have A Responsibility To Your Happiness As Well.” You return his warm smile and see a little red rush to his face.  
  
“PLUS YOU CAN ALWAYS DO YOUR REQUIRED PAILING WITH A KISMESIS.” He notices that your face flushes after he mentions kismesis. “WAIT, DON’T TELL ME YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND FOR A KISMESIS. WAIT NOT THE TIME.” Karkat reaches into his pocket and starts pressing things. “YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO ROSE AND ASK HER TO BE YOUR MATESPRIT.”  
  
“Karkat Wait. She Will Not Want To See Me, I Am Sure I Have Burned Bridges Down With Her As The Humans Say.”  
  
He clicks one final thing on his phone, then presses it to his ear. “WELL SHE MADE IT PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT SHE WAS INTERESTED IN YOU. SO YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST TRY TO WIN HER OVER BY RUNNING TO HER IN THE RAIN, THEN ASKING HER TO GO OUT WITH YOU WHILE SOAKING WET.”  
  
You are about to argue that life is not a romance film but are interrupted by whoever it is he is calling answering the phone. “HEY I NEED YOU TO DRIVE SOMEONE TO LALONDE’S. YES AGAIN! LOOK PLEASE I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP ASSHOLE. THANKS DAVE, SEE YOU SOON.” He ends the call and looks back to you. “HE’S GONNA BE HERE SOON, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WASH THE REST OF YOUR MAKEUP OFF AND GET READY.”  
  
You have to get off his lap so he can stand up, you miss his warm legs and head pats. You are filled with a determination, you’re going to go to Rose’s house to beg forgiveness and ask her out. The determination starts to shift into anxiety as you head to the bathroom to get ready and imagine Rose’s face twisted with hurt and anger at you abandoning her in the café.  
  
You take a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror. You did not even realize how much of your makeup was running down your face that whole time. You wash your face and manage to fix your hair up somewhat. You leave the bathroom to see Karkat standing at the door waiting for you. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY?”  
  
You honestly have no idea what to say to her. You doubt there are very little things you can say to persuade her into even giving you a chance. “I Do Not Know. Hopefully I Can Think Of What To Say When I Get To Her Hive.”  
  
“DAVE’S HERE. GOOD LUCK KANAYA.”  
  
“Thank You Karkat.” You walk up to him and give him a kiss on the forehead, which brings a fairly cute blush to his cheeks, before leaving out of the door.  
  
You arrive outside the hivecluster and find Dave’s red truck waiting for you. You open the door and enter the passenger seat, Dave is grumbling to himself about how he had to drive to the Lalonde's house three times already as he starts the car.  
  
“So what’s your business in the Lalonde house this fine evening, since I seem to be everyone’s ride to Lalonde’s today.”  
  
Dave makes a turn and your head bounces as you lean on the window. “I Fear I Have Greatly Upset Rose During Our Date.”  
  
“Damn how’d ya manage that? Rose is like a brick wall when it comes to displaying real emotions. A brick wall covered in cement, like hell that brick wall isn’t breaking any time soon. Shit ain’t movin’, like a dad would slap that wall and be like ‘yep that wall ain't’ goin nowhere,’ and everyone would agree because he is the dad is the leading expert on whether or not things are going anywhere.”  
  
“Well I Am Not As Knowledgeable On The Expertise Of Human Dads, So I Will Take Your Word For It. And About Rose, I Do Not Know For Sure On Whether Or Not I Actually Upset Her, Mostly Due To The Fact I Left In A Panic Before I Could Find Out.”  
  
“Daaaamn, that’s cold. So why’d you leave?”  
  
“I… Got A Bit Flustered By The Fact The Outing Was A Flush Date,” you sigh against the window. The city is blurring past the window as you hear the rain pouring onto the top of the car.  
  
Out of the corner of your eye you see Dave turning to look at you with one eyebrow raised above his sunglasses. “Dude, everyone and their mothers could tell that it was a date. I bet even their dads would too, like everyday they’d be at the family meeting discussing how much of a date that was. ‘Like damn honey Rose is totally trying to date that hot troll chick.’ And she’d be like, ‘why yes husband, Rose definitely wants to tap that.’ And then their kiddo would say, ‘I’d bet that she wants to tap that hot Lalonde ass too.’ And then they’d all nod their heads in agreement.”  
  
You playfully roll your eyes in his direction. “Not To Nitpick, But I Do Believe You Have Called Both Me And Rose Sexually Attractive In The Same Sentence, Honestly I Would Be Somewhat Impressed If You Were Not Talking About My Flush Crush And I.”  
  
His face heats up and he starts stuttering and is only digging his hole deeper. You laugh to yourself, which only causes Dave’s face to become redder.  
  
His escape from embarrassment comes in the form of your arrival at the Lalonde household. “Well, This Is My Stop.”  
  
Dave fumbles with his hands in unlocking your door. “Yup. And uh, good luck.”  
  
You smile at him and nod your head. You exit the truck and face the towering mass that is Rose’s hive. You have never seen it before, you have heard that the Lalonde’s were well off, but their hive is huge.  
  
You swiftly move to the door to try and avoid the rain. You ring the doorbell, it echoes throughout the large house. A moment later you see someone you were definitely not expecting.  
  
Eridan is standing in front of you as the door opens. “Wwait, wwater you doin’ here?”  
  
From your angle you can not see anyone behind him. “Is Rose Here? I Need To Apologize To Her.”  
  
He shifts awkwardly on his feet for a moment before responding. “Uh yeah aboat that. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”  
  
He’s about to close the door but you stop him, “Could I Come Inside At Least, Although I Love Standing Out In The Rain I Would Not Want To Catch A Human Cold.”  
  
He lets you in then pulls out his phone to frantically text someone. You stand awkwardly at the door so as to not drip water all over their floor.  
  
A minute passes before you hear footsteps coming from nearby stairs. You expect to see Rose appear before you, and you ready your apology. Twice you have expected her but have been given someone else instead, the wrong Lalonde descends from a hallway to where you are standing. Roxy does not look at all happy to see you, Rose must have told her what happened, your bloodpusher sinks.  
  
“I don’t think Rose wants to talk to you rn.” Roxy’s form stands guarding the hallway from you, preventing you from reaching Rose.  
  
“Please I Want To Apologize For How Foolish And Cold I Was. I Would Like For Her To Forgive Me, But I Understand That It Will Probably Not Occur. I Just Want To At Least Try To Make Things Right With Her, Even If It Might Not Lead Anywhere.”  
  
Roxy slowly paces towards you down the stairs until she stops a few feet away from you. “You know you really hurt Rose, and I don’t want you to go up there and hurt her again. I’m sorry but I can’t let you see her, at least not now.”  
  
“Please. I Need To Tell Her That I Am Flushed For Her As Well.” You are about to start begging Roxy to let you go to Rose before you hear a voice coming from the hallway.  
  
“Roxy? Hat’s taking you so long out here?” She stops dead in her tracks as your eyes lock. “Kapaya? Wh-what are you doing here?” Her words are slurring together as she talks, you fear she is ill and you immediately want to rush to her side to make sure she is well. But you stand still and wait for her to decide to come to you.  
  
You take in her whole figure. Her usually neat bob cut is now disheveled and missing her headband. Rose is still wearing the dress she wore to school and to your outing, although it looks a lot less kept than before, with a few wet spots and wrinkles.  
  
She starts walking towards you, her usual steady gait is replaced with her fumbling in your general direction. “Rose I Have Come To Apologize. I Was Scared And Panicked And… I Was Not Ready To Be In A Matespritship With You. But I Believe I Am Ready Now, If You Are Still Willing Of Course.”  
  
“Why were you scard?” She seems to have pushed the proposition you made her until later in favor of getting information out of you.  
  
“I Felt As If There Were A Certain Responsibility Thrust Upon Me To Aid In The Reproduction Of My Species, And Having A Concupiscent Relationship With A Human Would Interfere With Said Responsibility.”  
  
Rose lightly giggles for a moment at that. “You know human females have a similar socetal pressure to have children as well. Then I said 'to hell with socety, I’m a lesbian!'”  
  
You smile at that, “Yes, Karkat Told Me To Take A Similar Action As Well. I Now Feel That My Responsibility Is To Be True To Myself. And Rose, I Am Very Flushed For You.”  
  
You can see clear tears starting to form in Rose’s eyes, she rushes towards you and wraps your torso in a hug. “I feel the same Kanaya. Just don do anything like that again please.”  
  
You wrap your hands around her upper back to complete the hug. “I Wouldn’t Dream Of Doing That Again Rose.” You pull her closer to you and relish in the embrace at who you hope is your matesprit at this point? It is a question for another time, but you do have a different question on your mind. “Rose I Am Sorry If This Seems Rude, But Are You Ill? You Do Not Seem To Be Well And Are Stumbling Quite A Bit In Both Your Words And Movement.”  
  
Roxy speaks up from your side, reminding you that there are others in the room witnessing the conversation. “Rose got a little drunk after your date.”  
  
Your bloodpusher swiftly returns to its place low in your body as it dwells on you that it is your fault Rose has become like this. “Oh Rose I Am Sorry, I Did not Mean To Make You Ill. If There Is Anything I Could Do To Help-”  
  
You get cut off by Rose pressing a finger to your lips. “Papaya, it is okay, I am over it. Although if you wish to make it up to me, could you hep me suber up?”  
  
“Yes Of Course. I Currently Do Not Know How To Sober A Human But I Can Figure It Out On My Phone And Help You Out.”  
  
Rose giggles again, “thank you Kanaya.” She squeezes you once more and releases the hug. She grabs your hand and leads you up the stairs and through the hallway to her respiteblock. During the trip you take the time to google how to sober a human.  
  
You spend the next hour or so fretting over Rose, making sure she is okay and making her drink as much water as possible and taking human medicine once she starts feeling human hungover.  
  
Once Rose was sober enough you both decided that you would like to read in each other's company. So you and your matesprit are sitting on her human bed, shoulder to shoulder, reading a book from off of her shelf. You are holding the right side of the book, and her the left. You both finish reading the page at the same time and she asks you to flip the page, you comply.  
  
You take a moment to reflect. You are incredibly relieved and surprised that Rose took you back after what you did. She gave you another chance, and you are matesprits now. In her room, at this moment, you could not be happier.


	12. Sunset Diamonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy and Eridan have a heartfelt talk at sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I posted so late. I forgot today was Friday 0_0  
> Anyway I hope you enjoy it!

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and shit hit the fan so fast today. First, after school Eri came over for a surprise visit and found you drunk. He told you that you should stop drinking and that you have all of your friends to help you with your drinking problem. You cried and you two definitely had a moment. You don’t really know what kind of moment, but there was definitely something there.  
  
Anyway, the second crazy thing that happened was that Rose came back home very upset. You tried to console her but it took some time for her to open up to talking with you, and it took some drinking on her part. It stung when Rose just referred to you as a drunk, it stung a lot. But you knew Rose was hurting so you didn’t blame her, that’s what Rose does, hide her pain by any means necessary. If anything it only strengthened your resolve to quit drinking.  
  
You then found out that she had fallen to the same vices you have, drinking your problems away. You two shared a heartfelt moment then you sobered her up and helped her with her first time being drunk.  
  
During that, Eridan had texted you that Kanaya was here to see Rose. You didn’t think it was a good idea so you went out to tell her that. While you were talking to her, Rose came out of the room and saw Kanaya. They talked it out and hugged, it was really sweet, and you think they’re together now? You kinda felt bad that you even tried to keep them apart after that, but it definitely could’ve gone wrong so you stand by your decision.  
  
And that brings you to now. Kanaya was fretting over Rose’s drunken state and brought her to her room to take care of her, leaving you and Eridan standing there awkwardly in the aftermath of what occurred.  
  
Eridan’s the first one to break the silence, “so uh, wwhat’re wwe gonna do noww?”  
  
You’re currently shifting from your right to left foot. “Uh idk, wanna just like chill or somtehin’?” A great idea just popped into your head, “hey wanna sit by the pool?”  
  
“You havve a pool?”  
  
“Yup! It’s behind the house.”  
  
He looks at his arm and runs his fingers across it. “Is it a chlorine pool? Because chlorine’s terrible for a seadwweler’s skin.”  
  
You shake your head, “nope, salt water pool.” Eri’s whole face rises at that, even his gills flick upward. “When me n’ Rosie were fourteen we begged our mom for a trip to the beach, so she just got a salt water pool instead.”  
  
Eridan’s face sours a bit after that, but he follows you behind the house to the pool. The pool is pretty big compared to most property pools. It’s about 30 feet long and fifteen wide. Eridan’s eyes seem to sparkle when he sees the pool, you doubt he had much of a chance to be in a large body of sea water any time recently. Maybe you should plan a trip to the beach for him?  
  
You’re awakened from your thoughts by Eridan kicking off his shoes and socks. Eridan then takes off his cape and scarf, delicately placing them on a nearby chair. After his accessories are off, he peels off his shirt and places it on his pile of clothes. He tops the pile off with his glasses. His chest and back are similar to a human’s, the only differences are that Eridan has no belly button and his skin is a lot stiffer than a human’s would be. This is probably because trolls have some sort of plating under their skin, making his muscles look more rigid. He’s not overly muscled like the buff guys on tv, you think he’s just skinny and his tough skin is making him look more toned than he would be otherwise. It’s still a pretty good view though.  
  
“Uh Rox?” You realized you’ve kinda been staring at shirtless Eridan for a little longer than what would be considered normal, by any standards. “Wwhat, those are expensive, an’ the water could ruin em’.”  
  
You laugh and Eridan just rolls his eyes and turns toward the pool. He gets a running start and then dives in. The second he hits the water he starts jetting to the other end of the pool. It’s pretty clear now that he was meant to live in the ocean, his swimming speeds are way faster than most humans are even capable of.  
  
You take your shoes and socks off as you make your way to the edge of the pool and sit on it, resting your feet in the water. “Damn Eri, you should be in the olympics or somethin’.”  
  
He swims over and leans against the pool wall to talk to you. “Trolls definitely aren’t allowed in the olympics. They say it’d be too unfair, seeing howw trolls evvolvved differently from humans."  
  
You kick your feet in the water to make small splashes, “damn that’s bs. Trolls should at least get their own category.”  
  
“Yeah lotta thins’ are bs for trolls right noww. An’ I don’t think the olympics are on the top a the list.”  
  
“Yeah that’s fair. I wish people could just stop being sucky to each other for no reason. That’s the real bs, unwarranted hate.”  
  
Eridan nods. He then turns his head towards you. “You wwanna get in an’ swwim for a bit?”  
  
“I uh, actually don’t know how to swim.” You’re a fair bit nervous and embarrassed telling him this, but you’ve built up way more than enough trust for each other to be comfortable talking about almost anything.  
  
Eridan does a double take, “wwait reelly? Wwhy do ya havve a pool if ya can’t swwim in it?”  
  
“Well after my mom bought the pool she hired someone to teach us to swim. We refused to learn to silently protest her.”  
  
“Huh damn. Wwell Wwhy don’t ya learn noww? I can teach you.”  
  
“Omg really!” You reach down and surround his head and shoulders with your arms in a hug. “That’d be soooo cool, thanks Eri!”  
  
His gills flutter a bit as violet dusts his cheeks. “A course, no problem Rox. First thins’ first, you gotta get in the wwater.” He finishes his sentence by dragging both you and him into the water. The second you’re in the water your body locks around his, desperate not to let go. You try to take a breath before you go under but you're too late and your lungs are only filled with water. You’re brought to the surface and immediately starting coughing out the water you inhaled.  
  
“Shit shit shit shit. Rox you ok? Shit FUCK.” Eridan quickly rushes you back to the edge, making sure you never go under. You’re dropped onto the side and hear Eridan quickly join you on land. You weren’t under for too long so by this point most of the water has already been coughed up. “Holy shit Rox, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for that ta happen. I’m so sorry, I’vve fucked up again. Shit.”  
  
One last cough escapes your lungs before you talk. “Eri, Eri shooooosh. It’s ok, I’m ok.” His eyes are filled with horror and about to burst with tears. You use your hand and caress his cheek in a soothing way. “Everything’s gonna be ok, I’m not mad at you.”  
  
Eridan rushes and wraps his arms around you, holding you in a tight hug. “Shit I’m so sorry Rox, are you shore you’re okay?”  
  
You give him a reassuring pat on the back. “Yes I’m shore Eri. It’s okay I’m not mad, it was an accident. I’m just going to stay away from the water for a while.”  
  
He nods, “Yeah, good idea.” He releases his hold on you and returns to just sitting next to you. “Hey you’re uh,” he points to your shirt, “I can see your bra through your shirt.” You look down, he was right, your hot pink bra is very visible through your wet white shirt. Red flushes your face as you try and cover yourself up in front of a boy.  
  
You feel a cloth on your back, you turn your head and Eridan is placing his cape on your back and over your shoulders. Your hands move to grip the edge of the cape and pull it over you. “Thanks Eri." Tiy waggle your eyebrows, "I thought you didn’t want your cape to get wet?”  
  
“Wwhale I didn’t wwant people tryin’ ta sneak a peek.” He turns his head to look if anyone is peeking, which just makes you giggle.  
  
You pull his cape closer to you. It still smells like him, the ocean breeze, salty but relaxing. You notice the sun is about to set, “it’s really pretty out isn’t it?” The backside of your house faces a large forest and the sun is barely visible above the line of trees. There aren’t many houses nearby, and the ones that are, rival yours in size and are fairly spread apart. Making the scene before you two nearly untouched by man, and definitely a beautiful sight at that.  
  
He sits down again and looks at the same gorgeous view as you are. “Yeah it’s wwonderful.” Eridan scooches over a little so that his legs are nearly touching yours. You two watch the sun set in peaceful silence, merely enjoying the pacifying presence of each other.  
  
“Hey, do you remember wwhat I said wwhen I first come ovver here?” You think back, you were pretty drunk at the time but you remember something about quadrants.  
  
“Yeah I remember you asking me somethin’ about quadrants, but idk what.”  
  
“I asked you if you kneww wwhat a moirail is. Do you?”  
  
You think back to the little knowledge about quadrants you’ve heard Eri explain and the actual demonstration that is Equius and Nepeta. “You described it as like bffs but more?”  
  
He nods, “yeah it’s like that. Moirails trust each other’s judgement and can confide anythin’ in each other. It’s the person wwho you knoww evverythin’ about, there are no secrets betwween moirails. They care for each other abovve all else. It’s like they’re one person split into two.”  
  
Once he describes it, everything clicks. This is how you feel about Eridan. You want to know everything you can about him, to spend long nights exchanging secrets, to be able to be hurt around him and let him dress your wounds, to have someone there to pull you out of the void whenever you feel it consume you, and to do all this and more for him too.  
  
Eridan sits next to you, staring at the sunset. The sun is shining beautifully off of his face, the gold of the sunset matching perfectly with the gold in his eyes, and the violet gems that sit in those golden eyes. “I actually came here ta ask you if ya wwanted to be my moirail-”  
  
“Yes.” His face turns to you in shock. “Yes. I would love to be your moirail, if you’ll still have me.”  
  
It takes him a few seconds to fully process it. “Reely? You wwant ta be my moirail?” he says, emphasizing the my.  
  
You’re still holding his cape over your shoulders, you feel it’s fabric covering your whole being, protecting you from the elements. You smile, a large, real, happy smile. “Yes I’m reely shore I want to be your moireel.”  
  
His face lights up, his smile reaching the same heights as yours. His face is filled with a mix of emotions, glee, happiness, relief, diamonds, and something else. Something that his face has been missing recently.  
  
Hope.  
  
It’s definitely hope.


	13. You've Gotta Be Fucking Shitting Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lalondes get some shocking news.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you are moirails with Eridan Ampora. Like holy shit. YOU are MOIRAILS with ERIDAN! Just the thought of that brings another smile to your face. You and Eri are still sitting by the pool, both of you so content that neither of you ever want to move. You’re positioned so that you are leaning on his chest with his arm around you.  
  
You nuzzle into his chest more, he releases another happy sigh. “So what are some things moirails do together? Do they go on dates n stuff?”  
  
His fingers trace across the length of your arm, his claws never make contact with your skin to keep you from getting hurt. “Wwhale, wwhat wwe did yesterday are usual moirail activvities. And moirails do go on dates, but a lot a the thin’s are less flush datey if ya knoww wwhat I mean.”  
  
“So like less traditionally romantic?”  
  
“Yeah that’s a good wway ta put it. Also there’s uh,” he coughs and turns his head as violet invades his cheeks, along with the cute little flick of his gills. “There’s pilin’ too.”  
  
You crane your neck up to look at him, “piling?”  
  
His gills flutter again and more blood seems to flood into his entire face. “Pilin’ is a thin’ that moirails do, and it’s vvery intimate. The two moirails gather belongin’s that they are attached to or that havve significant meanin’ to their relationship to form a pile. Like gifts they gavve each other or thin’s they got on their first date. Then they lay on the pile and talk about their day or problems they’re facin’, usually wwhile pacifyin’ each other.”  
  
“Oh cool. Would you uh, wanna do that?”  
  
His face somehow fills with even more violet while his gills flap frantically. “Uh usually ya gotta buy a troll a drink before you pile em’.”  
  
Oh shit you get it now, piling is like pale bopping squiddles. Your cheeks flush as well, “oh shit I must seem like the girl that asks to get some right after asking you out don’t I? Like hello, yes let's date and now it’s a one way trip to the bone zone.”  
  
You both crack up laughing, you can feel the quickened rising and falling of Eridan’s chest as he laughs. You wish you two could sit here forever, but lady luck’s a bitch because your moment gets interrupted by a bunch of pesterchum notifications buzzing from your phone. You debate ignoring it, but it could be important so you take out your phone and look at your new logs. You click the new log you got from Rose a second ago.

tentacleTherapist started pestering  tipsyGnostalgic  at 7:09 PM

TT: Roxy.  
TT: Roxy.  
TT: I know you’re having fun with your troll sex friend, but this is important.  
TG: ughhhh  
TG: im kinda doin somethin  
TT: Oh I apologize, I did not realize that you renamed Eridan, “somthin”.  
TG: Rooooosssseeee  
TG: It’s not like that I swear!  
TT: Anyway there are more important matters to attend to.  
TT: Mother is on her way here, and she has stated to me via text that she has important news to tell us.  
TT: I fear the worst.  
TG: oh shit  
TG: we gotta get Eri and Kanaya out  
TT: Yes, so meet in the kitchen right now so we can discuss our game plan.  
TG: gotcha

tentacleTherapist  has stopped pestering  tipsyGnostalgic 

“Oh shit. Rose just texted me, our mom’s home we gotta go inside and get Kanaya and you out.” You get up and start to lead him inside.  
  
“Wwait howw long until she’s here?”  
  
You open the backdoor and enter the house again. “Idk we gotta ask Rose, that’s the one she texted.”  
  
You enter the kitchen with Eridan following close behind. Kanaya and Rose are both sitting at the bar waiting for you. “So what’s the sitch?”  
  
Rose rolls her eyes at your ruining of the english language, “mother will be home in about ten minutes, in that time Kanaya and Eridan will be hiding in Roxy’s room. We will wait for her to get wasted or retire to her own room, then we will sneak you two out and drive you back to your apartment.”  
  
“Yes That Sounds Like It Should Work.” Everyone in the room agrees to the plan. Kanaya gives Rose a quick kiss on the cheek, which leaves the smaller girl blushing, before heading upstairs.  
  
Before Eridan goes upstairs to hide in your room he pulls you aside. “Hey I knoww that wwe just started bein’ moirails, but wwill wwe havve to hide from your mother forever?”  
  
You sigh and lean yourself on Eri’s shoulder, “I don’t know, we will probs hafta break it to her eventually, but I’m just scared she’ll never let us see each other again. Can I have some time to figure it out?”  
  
Eridan gives you a warm smile, along with a chaste kiss to your forehead that makes you blush like a schoolgirl. “A course Rox, take all the time ya need.”  
  
“Thanks Eri, you’re the best.” You ruffle his hair a bit with your hand, he immediately grumbles and tries to fix it back up.  
  
You say goodbye to Eridan for now and go sit at the bar with Rose. Rose is leaning on the bar with her head in her hands. “Ah, I see you’re havin’ your first hangover.”  
  
Rose responds with a grunt and a slight nodding of her head. You giggle and give her a pat on the back. She turns her head to look at you with a grin, “so are you and ‘Eri’ together?” she ends the sentence with a waggle of her eyebrows.  
  
Pink dusts your cheeks, “actually yeah. We’re moirails now!”  
  
Rose’s eyebrows stop their wagglin’ and instead shoot up in surprise. “Oh, I did not expect that? That is the quadrant that is similar to really close friends, correct?”  
  
“Yeah pretty much. He did say that we still do relationship stuff like go on dates n’ stuff. OMG, what if you and Kanaya had a double date with us!”  
  
Rose gives a somewhat pained, but heartfelt smile. “Yes that sounds lovely, and can you get me another painkiller.”  
  
You give her a thumbs up and hop the bar to get to the kitchen. Your mother always keeps painkillers in the kitchen in case she ends up on the couch with a hangover. You open the cabinet and grab the pill bottle. You slid the bottle her way, Rose thanks you and throws one in her mouth.  
  
At that moment you hear the rattling of the door. You and Rose lock eyes before simultaneously turning to face the door. It rattles a few more times before she finally gets the key in correctly and stumbles through the door. “Roxy, Rose, I’m home, c-come here.”  
  
You could’ve sworn you heard a sob during that sentence, and once you see her you think you might be right. Her makeup is running down her eyes and she looks awful. She hates being presented in any way that isn’t perfect or drunk in front of you so this is kinda unsettling.  
  
Rose gets up and is the first to speak, “we are here mother, what is it you needed to tell us?”  
  
Rose stumbles a little while she walks over to the door, which your mother of course notices. “Oh Rose, I see you have fallen for the same vices as your mother.” She then sighs, “I knew you couldn’t be perfect. Just do not ruin the floor please.”  
  
Rose scowls and tries very hard not to lash out right then. Your mother of course ignores her scowl, and chooses to walk past her and sit on the bar to start pouring herself a drink. “Oh girls, the most horrible thing happened today.”  
  
Rose’s words are dripping with sarcasm as she says, “oh dearest mother of ours, what problem has plagued you this fine evening.”  
  
“Talk nice Rose,” your mother commands almost on instinct, her voice makes you flinch. She returns to her damsel in distress act, “today was horrible. I found your father today, apparently he moved into the city a few years ago.”  
  
It takes a second to process in your brain. “Wait, you met our dad? Who is he? Where is he?”  
  
“Roxy,” you shut your mouth immediately, “you will meet him soon enough. We are going to dinner with him and his family on Sunday.”  
  
“What do you mean we are going to dinner with him? Shouldn’t we get a say in the meeting of our own father?” Rose is starting to get aggressive, you’re just trying to stay out of it as much as possible.  
  
Mom puts her hand on Rose’s head and ruffles it, “just be a good polite girl during dinner Rose. We need to show him that we are better off without him.” She takes a long sip from her drink and gets up to go to her room. “Oh and make sure to bring your boyfriends, girls.”  
  
She definitely knows about yours and Rose’s sexualities, heck Rose even hung the lesbian pride flag above her door when she came out. Rose looks pissed, she’s already drawing blood from how hard she’s biting her lip.  
  
“C-can we at least know our dad’s name?” You reach out in an attempt to get any information about your father.  
  
Mom rolls her eyes, “fine. His name is Derek Strider.”  
  
No. No no no. No no no no no no no. You’ve got to be kidding me. It can’t be the SAME strider right, there’s no way. You look over to Rose and her mouth is agape. You bet you’re both thinking the same thing. There’s no fucking way right?  
  
Your mom has left the room, leaving you and Rose just standing there in confusion. “It can’t be the same Strider right?” You look over to Rose, she’s frantically typing on her phone. She looks pretty annoyed so you just sneak up behind her and read her messages.

tentacleTherapist  started pestering turntechGodhead  at 7:29 PM

TT: Dave.  
TT: Dave Strider I know you are online.  
TT: I need to talk to you right now Dave.  
TG: sup  
TT: What is “sup” is that I need to ask you a question.  
TT: One that could change our very fate depending on the answer.  
TG: oh damn  
TG: is this like one of those game show things  
TG: like are you on deal or no deal and about to phone a friend to help you answer a question  
TG: like rose im flattered im your first choice  
TG: but wouldnt like jade or hell even john be a better choice  
TG: nah scratch that i know more shit than egbert  
TG: harleys like the president of knowing random shit  
TG: then im like the goddamn secretary of state  
TG: johns like the regular ass secretary that just gets us all coffee  
TT: Dave.  
TT: Stop talking.  
TG: oh shit you on a time limit  
TG: whats the question rose  
TT: This is not a gameshow,  
TT: and while usually I entertain your antics this matter is of the utmost importance.  
TG: shit rose ask away then  
TT: What is your father’s name?  
TG: oh you mean bro  
TG: holdup lemme check  
TT: I’m waiting.  
TG: jeez rose give a man a minute  
TG: i dont know this shit off the top of my head  
TG: ok got it  
TT: Well?  
TG: yo rose calm your tits  
TG: his names derek strider

You’ve gotta be joking. Rose puts her phone on the bar, then turns to you with a shaky smile, “I guess the Striders are our brothers.”  
  
“Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” You slump against the bar.  
  
Rose slumps next to you. “Mother always did say that Dave and Dirk looked like her ex. Ugh I cannot believe I am related to Dave, that dork is going to be so embarrassing to share genetics with.”  
  
You hide your head in your hands, “ughhh, at least you didn’t have a crush on your brother.”  
  
Rose’s phone keeps pinging with pesterchum notifications, no doubt from Dave. Rose slides her hand across the table to grab her phone. You raise your head to look at what she’s saying.

TG: hey whyd you wanna know anyway  
TG: damn are you trying to get into his pants  
TG: i know striders are irresistible  
TG: but cmon there are better ones than bro  
TG: hes the old car  
TG: a classic strider that everyone appreciates  
TG: but secretly everyone wants the new and improved model  
TG: shit i got like twelve cup holders  
TG: got all the safety features too  
TG: aint no way youre gonna crash this ride  
TT: Dave, I am not interested in any version of Strider.  
TT: I recently figured out the name of my father.  
TG: oh shit who is it  
TT: I believe you are going to regret your freudian comments soon.  
TG: what  
TG: no  
TG: dont tell me  
TG: dont you fucking dare  
TT: My father is Derek Strider  
TT: I have not fully processed it myself.  
TT: But how are you doing, oh brother of mine?  
TG: youve gotta be fucking shitting me  
TT: Dave, I am your sister!  
TT: You should not insinuate anything insestuous between us.

turntechGodhead  stopped pestering tentacleTherapist

“Lol I think you broke Dave.”  
  
Rose smiles to herself, “I finally found a way to shut him up.” Giggles escape both of your mouths. “How long do you think it will take for him to reboot?”  
  
“Hmmm, I’d give him at least fifteen minutes.” You both return to laughing at Dave’s expense.  
  
Once you both have calmed down Rose speaks up, “I do believe we still have a couple of guests to sneak out. I will start the car, you get them to the garage.”  
  
You give Rose a thumbs up and a smile, then make your way up the stairs and to your room. You make sure your mom isn’t looking and then open the door. Eridan is lying on your bed on his phone, while Kanaya is sitting at your desk making sure her nails are perfect.  
  
Eridan is the first to notice you, “hey so wwhat’s happenin’.”  
  
“Well I got good news, kinda bad news, and definitely weird news. Which would ya wanna hear first?”  
  
Kanaya lowers her hands and folds them on her lap. “I Believe That Good News, Weird News, Bad News, Is The Preferred Order In Which I Would Like To Receive The News.”  
  
Eridan rolls his eyes, which earns him a glare from the taller troll sitting near him, and a giggle from you. “Okay good news first, my mom is already drinking so she should be passing out soon. Weird news is I kinda found out how my father is.”  
  
Eridan’s gills flap and he perks up, “Wwait for reel? Wwho is he?”  
  
You rub your arm with your hand nervously, “well that’s the weird part, my father is Derek Strider, who is also Dirk and Dave’s father.” Eridan’s mouth hangs completely agape, while Kanaya looks a lot more modest in her surprise. “Rose just told Dave about it, tbh I think he’s freaking out.”  
  
Kanaya tries to regain her composure and readjusts the hands in her lap. “That Is… Certainly Unexpected, But Does This Mean That You And Rose Are Going To Meet Your Shared Father. I Am By No Means Forcing You, But It Seems To Be Important To Humans To Know The Sources Of Their Genetics.”  
  
“Yeah that’s kinda the bad news, we’re going to dinner with him this Sunday.”  
  
Eridan’s brow knits in confusion and concern, “wwait, I thought ya’d at least wwant ta meet him, what’s wwrong?”  
  
“Well, our mother told me n’ Rosie to bring our boyfriends... actually, this might be the best opportunity for her to meet the two of you. Plus we could get Dave and Dirk on it, have their dad meet their boyfriends too. Doing them all at once could hope to lessen the blow, since neither of our parents would like that their children are gay or dating aliens.”  
  
Kanaya nods, “Yes That Makes Sense And Sounds Like It Will Work, Although I Would Have To Make Sure Karkat Is On His Best Behavior.” Kanaya rolls her eyes, but her slight smile gives away that she finds him endearing. “I Do Not Know Too Much About Dirk’s Boyfriend, But I Will Be As Respectful As Possible In Order To Make This Work. However I Doubt That Eridan Can Pull This Off Without Making Some Sort Of Uproar.”  
  
You’re about to step in and defend Eridan, but Eri gets there first and the two start bickering. Their grins give away that they’re both having fun so you just sit back and laugh.  
  
You are pretty anxious about the dinner this weekend, just having the Striders and Lalondes in the same room is usually disastrous, but having the trolls and Jake there too will be complicated. But also kinda fun, and if it all goes well then the You and Rose won’t have to keep your relationships secret. And the Striders won’t have to keep their gayness a secret.  
  
You wonder how the Striders are taking this news?


	14. Strider Style (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Striders get some shocking, or not so shocking, news.

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re losing your cool. Not permanently, god hopefully not permanently, nah a Strider can’t permanently lose their cool, it’s rooted in them like fucking roots. Jegus you’re off.  
  
You just got told that your dad is also Rose’s dad, which makes her your sister, which is fucking weird. Why is it weird? Because it just is. Ugghh. Rose is definitely going to throw around Freud everytime she talks to you. Your life is going to become a Freudian hellhole.  
  
You’re sitting in your room in front of your desk, you just closed the log from Rose and put your phone away. You were in the middle of mixing something on your turntables when you were pestered by Rose and got delivered the news. You don’t feel like finishing it right now.  
  
You open the door to your room and walk through cautiously. It doesn’t seem that Bro is here, Dirk is sitting on the living room couch playing Tony Hawk on Bro’s xbox 360. You really just feel like getting it out, talking about it, not that you’re usually quiet anyway. “Hey Dirk?”  
  
Dirk nods his head to acknowledge you. You continue, “I just found out that Bro is Rose and Roxy’s dad, which makes us their brothers and them our sisters.”  
  
Tony Hawk misses the trick and faceplants on the pavement, Dirk’s eyebrows twitch in irritation. He keeps his head on the screen as he talks, “Yeah, I know.”  
  
“Wait, what do you mean you know?”  
  
Dirk puts the controller on a nearby table and gets up. “I background search everyone who we hang out with. It’s on their birth certificates.”  
  
“You knew the whole time? And didn’t tell me, or Rose and Roxy for that matter.”  
  
“Okay, in hindsight, it might not have been the best idea-”  
  
“Ya think?” You really cannot take this right now. Dirk hid two sisters from you. You would expect this from Bro, but not Dirk. You and Dirk had each other's backs your whole lives, especially as kids and with… Bro. You need some air. “I’m going out.” You grab the keys off the shelf, grab your hoodie off of the rack, and walk out the door, leaving Dirk standing in the living room alone.  
  
You rush out of your apartment, you feel like you gotta talk to someone, you pull out your phone and instinctually dial his number.  
  
“DAVE, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DO YOU WANT?” The familiar voice of Karkat grates your ears.  
  
You try, and fail, to mask the smile that grows on your face when you hear his voice. “Hey can I come over? I kinda need to talk about shit.”  
  
“SERIOUSLY! YOU WERE THE ONE COMPLAINING ABOUT HAVING TO DRIVE ALL ACROSS NEW YORK, AND NOW YOU WANT TO DRIVE BACK TO MY HIVE?”  
  
“Yeah dude, I just got hit with a bombshell of news. This ain’t your mom’s bombshell. This shit could like, fall from the sky and wipe out the U.S. I don’t even know.” You’re so damn razzled you can’t even metaphor properly.  
  
“JEGUS, FINE FINE! IF YOU’RE MESSING UP THE ONE THING YOU’RE FUCKING MEDIOCRE AT THEN SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH YOUR THINKPAN. JUST COME OVER, THE DOOR WILL BE UNLOCKED, LET YOURSELF IN. I’LL TEXT YOU MY HIVE DESIGNATION.”  
  
“Thanks Karkat.”  
  
“YEAH YEAH WHATEVER.” He hangs up, and you smile to yourself. There’s something oddly charming how he hides his affection for you.  
  
The notification on your phone tells you Karkat followed through and gave you his apartment number. You pocket your phone and pull your hoodie on. Your hoodie is red, and has a gear in the middle of it that’s another shade of red. Rose got it for your seventeenth birthday, she said it just suited you.  
  
It’s a short walk to the parking garage where you keep your car. You try, and fail, keep your head clear about Lalondes or ANYTHING freudian.  
  
You reach the beautiful, ironically red truck that all the Strider’s share. Bro’s had it forever and once you and Dirk got licenses he let you use it to get to school. Sometimes he takes it for week long trips, leaving you and Dirk to take the bus. You have no idea where he goes or why, but you’ve gotten used to having a guardian floating in and out of the house, it’s cool, Strider’s are always cool.  
  
It takes you about fifteen minutes before you are at karkat’s apartment complex. It’s kinda fucked up that they just shove all the troll kids into a couple apartments and just call it a day. They all have to take care of themselves or each other. Like damn it’s like a dad buying a kid an ant farm then leaving for a month and being pissed that all the ants died. You have no idea what the fuck a better option would look like but there has to be a better one than this. Segregation, I mean did anyone learn anything from the big man MLK?  
  
You walk up to the front door and pull it open. A gust of freezing cold wind escapes from inside when you do. Jesus, you knew most trolls ran colder than humans but it feels like everyone let their freezers open for months. You’re just sitting there in your thin t-shirt and jeans, the Strider goods are about to freeze off at this point.  
  
You walk in and start climbing the stairs. You pass a few trolls while ascending the stairs. They give you some strange looks, and maybe even a growl? You assume they don’t get human visitors often.  
  
Now that you’re looking at the inside of this building you realize how shitty it is. There are cracks in more than a couple walls, along with writing or other stains coating the walls in places. I mean if the government is gonna shove all the poor trolls in one place at least give them somewhere that doesn’t look like a five dollar a night motel.  
  
You reach Karkat’s door and knock a couple times. After a few seconds the door swings open, “I SAID YOU COULD JUST COME IN SHIT FOR PAN.”  
  
You readjust your sunglasses to hide the embarrassment invading your face. “Oh, didn’t you know? Cool guys always knock on their boyfriend’s door. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do ya know.”  
  
Karkat dramatically rolls his eyes, “LIKE YOU EVER ACT GENTLEMANLY.” He then moves to the side to invite you in. You walk into his living room and slump down on the couch. “SO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT?”  
  
“I just received some Earth shattering news, shit’s like Kirby punching the Earth, Earth shattering. It’s goddamn-  
  
“JEGUS FUCKING CHRIST. WHAT NEWS DID YOU GET.” Karkat throws himself on the couch dramatically next to you.  
  
“Jeez Kittykat, all about the destination and never the journey with you.” It looks like he’s about to do another long winded screaming match between himself and himself in which he simultaneously wins and loses. To stop that, you continue. “Rose called earlier and said my dad is also her dad.”  
  
“SO?”  
  
“So, we’re siblings.”  
  
“AND?”  
  
“It’s weird?”  
  
“I KNOW HUMANS THINK THAT ‘INCEST’ IS ‘TABOO’ OR SOME SHIT, BUT YOU CAN’T EVEN BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR HATCHMATES EITHER?” He puts his clawed fingers up and does air quotes for ‘incest’ and ‘taboo’.  
  
“I don’t know, it's just weird? Gross? Fucked up? Somethin' like that.”  
  
“HOW DOES SHARING AN ANCESTOR MAKE IT WEIRD, GROSS, FUCKED UP, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?”  
  
“Rose and Roxy, are my sisters. It’s weird man. I’ve never thought of them as my sisters before. Hell, I didn't even know I had sisters until today.  
  
“IS THIS ABOUT THE FUCKING ‘TITS’ THING IN LUNCH?”  
  
Blood rushes to your face and you attempt to hide it by readjusting your sunglasses. “Yes. No?” He quirks his eyebrow. “It’s not that specifically, but it’s stuff like that.” You heavily sigh. “When we were kids, I used to think I had a crush on Rose. She was pretty and fun to be around, I thought that’s what a crush was. And then I realised that I didn’t feel nearly as attracted to her than I did about Ryan Reynolds, like damn have you seen him, he’s like the goddamn sun he’s so hot. Anyway, soon after that, Rose said she was... ya know, and I figured out that I was... ya know.”  
  
Karkat rolls his eyes, “GAY AND GAY?”  
  
“Yeah pretty much.”  
  
“SO DAVE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THE PROBLEM?”  
  
You throw your head back and look up at the ceiling. “Rose was so nonchalant about it, hell she was even joking about it. After I told Dirk, he just said he already knew and never told any of us. It feels like-”  
  
“LIKE YOUR WHOLE WORLD IS EXPLODING AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT.”  
  
You turn your head to the side and look at him, baffled. “Y-yeah, pretty much. How’d you know?”  
  
Karkat is looking down into his lap, where his hands are folded. “IT WAS LIKE THAT ON THE SHIP, THE ONE I CAME TO EARTH ON. EVERYONE WAS SO CALM, LIKE EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL, A NORMAL DAY WHILE FLYING AWAY FROM THE ONLY HOME WE’VE EVER KNOWN AFTER IT FUCKING EXPLODED. UNNATURALLY, I WAS FLIPPING MY SHIT THE ENTIRE TIME. I AT LEAST HAD KANAYA TO CONSOLE ME, AND ERIDAN WAS FLIPPING AT LEAST AS MUCH SHIT AS I WAS.”  
  
Karkat reaches onto the arm of the couch and grabs the remote. “JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME AND IT’LL BE NORMAL. AND THE DIRK THING? FORGET ABOUT HIM FOR A WHILE, HE ALWAYS ACTS LIKE A DOUCHE ANYWAY.”  
  
That last part brings out a chuckle from you, “yeah, I probably need to be away from him for a while.” Karkat is currently scrolling through titles on Netflix. His feelings about each movie he goes past is so apparent on his face. If he dislikes a movie he scowls and continues past, if he’s considering a movie he pauses over it and his scowl lightens, he shakes his head when he decides against it. And when he finally finds a movie he really wants to watch, a smile grazes his lips, and his eyes light up. God, he’s adorable.  
  
“So what we watchin’ Kitten?”  
  
He scowls and towards you, “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” He leans back to where he was, “AND WE’RE WATCHING HITCH.”  
  
You raise an eyebrow in his direction, “Hitch?”  
  
Karkat gives you a face that looks like you just killed his cat and baked the remains into a cake, like ‘damn this cake is good what’s in it? Mr. fluffles. My fucking cat? Yup.’ “ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME! YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF A MOVIE BY ONE OF THE ONLY HUMAN ACTORS THAT ISN'T ACTUAL BARKBEAST SHIT WRAPPED AND PREPARED IN A COATING OF URINE AND GENETIC MATERIAL!”  
  
“Hey Ben Stiller is an ironically good actor.”  
  
“UGH. WE ARE GOING TO WATCH EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF WILL SMITH’S MOVIES UNTIL YOUR SORRY ASS FINALLY RECOGNIZES HIS GREATNESS!” After his outburst he angrily presses the play button to start the movie.  
  
Karkat leans back into the couch with his arms crossed and a large frown on his face. You laugh, you laugh loud and proud which turns his frown into a scowl, which in turn only makes you laugh harder.  
  
Once your fit of laughter ends you start watching the movie, and it’s actually pretty good. Karkat is talking throughout the whole movie, mostly about the nuanced romance aspects that you wouldn’t pick up on.  
  
“THIS IS IT, THIS IS IT!” Karkat smacks his hand against your arm while staring at the TV. You’re at about the end of the movie, both couples made up after their fights and Hitch is standing outside with the love interest (you really don’t remember her name at all).  
  
You’ve watched enough of these movies to know what comes next. You turn towards Karkat and gently grab the side of his face. You lean forward and turn his face to yours. In another quick motion you lock lips with him. His bright red eyes seem startled for a moment, along with enough heat coming off his face for you to notice the change in temperature.  
  
It takes a second, but he starts to kiss back. His lips are warm and a little bigger than yours, and unlike most of his body, they are surprisingly soft. You sling your arm over his shoulder and grab his hair, pulling him towards you to deepen the kiss.  
  
While you’re mackin’ on your boyfriend, in the background Hitch is leaning in and pulling the girl (you still can’t remember her name( but to be fair, you’re kinda busy at the moment)) into a kiss.  
  
You break the kiss and pull back, both of you taking deep breaths. “YOU COULD GIVE A TROLL A WARNING YOU KNOW?”  
  
“I thought it would be more romantic this way. Kissin’ my man while the main characters in the movies kissed on screen,” you say with a smirk and a shrug.  
  
Karkat rolls his eyes, while trying to hide his smile. “WELL IT WAS PRETTY ROMANTIC.”  
  
“See? I’m a romantic, like Leonardo Da Vinci drawing all those dicks on the sixteenth chapel. All the old ladies would ask, ‘why are there so many dicks on the chapel’s ceiling?’ And I’d say, ‘it’s goddamn romantic.”  
  
“JEGUS DAVE, SO MUCH OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID WAS WRONG THAT I DON’T EVEN WANT TO CORRECT YOU.”  
  
You just smirk as Karkat gets up and turns the TV off. “Hey do you think I could stay here tonight?”  
  
He turns around and gives you a questioning look, “I’M NOT REALLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE HUMANS SLEEP HERE. THIS PLACE IS A SHIT HOLE ANYWAY, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SLEEP HERE?”  
  
You feel your hands clench reflexively, “I just… don’t wanna be home right now.”  
  
The troll stares at you for a few moments before nodding. “YEAH, YEAH, FINE. YOU CAN SLEEP HERE TONIGHT.”  
  
“I call the bed.” You quickly jump over the couch and get to the bedroom before Karkat even moves. You hear the stomping of his footsteps but by the time he’s at the door, you’re already under the covers.  
  
“OH HELL NO. I WILL CHEW AND SWALLOW BOTH MY GANDER BULBS BEFORE I SLEEP ON THE COUCH IN MY OWN HIVE. SCOOT OVER.”  
  
You scoot over to let him to slide under the blanket beside you. Crap, you almost forget your shades. You reach up and pluck them off your face like a mama bird gently carrying a chick.  
  
You roll over and place them on the nightstand by the bed, then roll back over and face Karkat. He’s on his side facing you too, his bright red eyes meeting your own. “HEY, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WEAR THOSE STUPID FUCKING SUNGLASSES ALL THE TIME?”  
  
“Because they're the signature Strider Style.”  
  
He kicks your leg under the sheets, “GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER, DUMBASS.”  
  
“Kitty Kat, I don’t know if you noticed, but nothing about this is straight.” You feel another kick hit your shin. “Ow, fine. My eyes are really sensitive to light, I can barely fucking see without them.”  
  
You move closer to your boyfriend and wrap an arm around his shoulder. “DAMN, I NEVER KNEW. I ALWAYS JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE A DOUCHEBAG.”  
  
“Well I’m that too.” A smile appears on both of your faces, followed by laughter. So much that you didn't even notice someone entering the apartment.  
  
The bedroom door opens, along with a voice. “Oh Karkat, It Worked! She Forgave Me!” Kanaya, Karkat’s morale, (you have no fucking clue how to even begin pronouncing that. It's like the friend quadrant, the diamond one) enters the room and turns towards the two of you in the bed. “Oh, My Apologies. I Did Not Realize You Were Tending To Your Own Matesprit At The Moment.”  
  
Karkat shoots upright and shakes his head, “N-NO IT’S NOT LIKE THAT! DAVE IS JUST STAYING THE NIGHT HERE. AND-SHIT THAT DIDN’T SOUND MUCH BETTER DID IT?”  
  
“I Better Leave The Two Of You To It. I Will Inform You Of Last Night’s Events In The Morning Tomorrow.” Kanaya goes and starts to close the door. But right before she closes it completely she says, “Oh And Do Not Forget To Use Protection You Two.”  
  
You and Karkat are left sitting in his bed, blushing like nuns after the breeze lifts their dresses up. That completely killed the mood for any more pillow talk. After a few minutes, you start to drift to sleep.  
  
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you romance a troll, “sleep” with your boyfriend and forget about all your problems, Strider Style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B)


	15. Strider Style (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk has a pretty rough night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for updating this late I was super busy this past week @_@  
> anyway I hope you enjoy!

Your name is Dirk Strider. You are currently standing alone in your apartment. Dave just left because he found out that the Lalondes and the Striders are paternally related. Bro hasn’t been here since the two of you came home. So you’re alone.  
  
Why did you even keep that secret from him?  
  
Probably because you found out a couple of years ago when you ran background checks on all of your friends.  
  
Ethically, that was not cool. But you prefer to keep everything under control.  
  
Which happens to be what this situation is not under, genius.  
  
So which one of your master plans are you falling back on now.  
  
Yeah well, that plan did not involve Dave running out on you. You were supposed to explain the situation and tell him all that he asked.  
  
Yeah, and how did you expect that to go.  
  
I expected him to be mad sure, maybe lock himself away for a couple hours, but not leave the apartment.  
  
So are you just going to stand there? Why not run after him.  
  
No I can’t do that, that’d just make him more angry with me.  
  
It’s all your fault. Why couldn’t you just tell him the truth once you found out.  
  
We were only twelve, plus I didn’t even get to know the Lalondes yet. I wanted to form my own opinion on them before Dave found out they were his sisters.  
  
Then why did you wait so long?  
  
Dave deserved to know he had family.  
  
There was never a good time to tell him, he didn’t need to know anyway. I doubt he has a good experience with family, Bro and I being his only examples.  
  
Maybe you could’ve changed his view on family if he actually had good examples like Roxy and Rose.  
  
He should have been able to make his own decision regarding his sisters instead of you just making them all for him.  
  
I was protecting him!  
  
From what?  
  
Family that could actually care about him?  
  
I do care about Dave!  
  
Then why do you keep secrets from him?  
  
And why do you let Bro do that to him?  
  
“Damnit, shut up!” Your voice doesn’t echo this time. Your eyes readjust and look around. You’re not in the living room anymore. It seems that you’ve walked to your bedroom. You take out your phone and look at the time. About ten minutes have passed since Dave left.  
  
After you failed him.  
  
You take another deep breath. You think you just need some air. You walk over to the closest and pull it open. You look through your clothes and find what you’re looking for all the way in the back. A dark pink hoodie with a pink split heart in the center. Roxy picked it out while you and your friends were out shopping, they all agreed it suited you so you bought it. You rarely get a chance to wear it however, because if Bro caught you wearing it he’d probably say you were too gay and punish you.  
  
He doesn’t even know half the extent of your gayness.  
  
You slip the hoodie on and walk out of your apartment. You walk down the stairs, you count each step just as you usually do. 91 stairs to get from your floor to the ground floor.  
  
Once you’ve exited the building you feel the cool autumn air hit you. You’ve never been one for nature, but the colder seasons always felt quite nice. You feel a buzzing in your pants, you reach in and grab your phone.  
  
A call? Who even calls anymore these days. You take a look at the screen, oh that’s who.  
  
“Why hello there mate! What have you been up to this fine evening.” Your boyfriend’s voice springs up into your ears. Might as well walk and talk, you make your way down the street.  
  
“Ha ha, I get it. A pun.”  
  
“A pun? Whatever do you mean Dirk?”  
  
Did he really not even see it? Well that’s Jake after all, it’s still pretty endearing. “Mate. As in both friends, like you usually use it, and as in sexual partners for breeding. Which is ironic in its own right since we are both males and thus cannot breed.”  
  
After about a moment, “well shucks buster! I didn’t even think of all that! You really are good in the head, old dog. *Nudges your elbow*.” You turn the corner with a hint of a smile fighting its way onto your face. He’s just as much of a dork on the phone as he is in text. “Well anyway, what’ve you been up to?”  
  
You take a deep sigh. “I fucked up with Dave and now he’s pissed at me.”  
  
“Well what could you have done to get him all mad at you?”  
  
So far keeping secrets has not led to the best outcomes, so coming clean is probably for the best. “Dave found out I never told him that Rose and Roxy are his biological half sisters.”  
  
“Gee golly! You are related to the Lalondes?”  
  
You turn the corner again and continue walking. “Yeah I found out soon after Dave and I first moved here.”  
  
“Good gosh, that’s quite the surprise you kept from him. Is Dave okay after that?”  
  
“I don’t know. He ran out right after I told him. I fucked up big time didn’t I?”  
  
“Well I’m sure you had your reasons to keep it from him. The pal Dirk I know wouldn’t do something like that without good reason.” He really does have that much faith in you.  
  
You’re going to fail him too.  
  
Shut up.  
  
You turn the corner yet again. “Thanks Jake.”  
  
“No problemo buckaroo! Anytime you need a pick me up just call the ol’ Jakester!”  
  
A light chuckle breaks through, “I think calling is a little old fashioned for me, let’s just text.”  
  
“Aw come on Dirk. Where’s your sense of adventure! Texting is mundane, calling let’s you hear the world on the other end of the telephone, it’s much more thrilling!”  
  
“You just say that because you can barely text 24 words a minute.”  
  
“Well that’s er... “  
  
“I rest my case.”  
  
“How in the world do you know how fast I text?”  
  
You turn the corner one last time. “Well I timed the speed every one of our friends text at. You being the slowest with Jane close behind, and Roxy texting at a blinding speed.”  
  
“Boy howdy! I really need to improve my game.”  
  
“Oh trust me, your game’s great,” you continue before he can get a chance to respond, “anyway I gotta go wait for Dave. See ya.”  
  
“B-bye!” You hang up and wait into your apartment building. You walk up the stairs. Your head’s much clearer now than it was before. Your current plan is to wait for Dave to come home so you can explain yourself to him.  
  
You reach your door and enter your apartment. You sit down on the couch and wait. You feel another buzzing in your pants, you quickly reach into your pocket and grab it. It’s a pesterlog.

tipsyGnostalgic started pestering timaeusTestified at 8:19 PM

TG: hey wats up  
TG: u get the news  
TT: You mean the news about you and Rose being me and Dave’s half siblings?  
TT: Yeah, I already knew.  
TG: wait u knew already??  
TT: Yes.  
TG: then y didnt u tell me :(  
TT: I thought it would make things more complicated.  
TG: lol u right  
TG: things are hella complicated rn  
TT: Wait you’re not mad I never told you?  
TG: i mean i woulda liked to know  
TG: but itd prob been freaky  
TG: ya know since i had a crush on u n all.  
TT: Yeah that was a little weird.  
TG: but ur like one of my best friends  
TG: and my brother lol  
TG: and hey at least u had good intentions  
TT: Dave certainly doesn’t see it that way.  
TG: dang howd dave react  
TT: He freaked out and ran off.  
TG: i mean fair  
TG: it was kinda somethin big that u kept from him  
TT: Yeah.  
TG: lol ur worried about him  
TT: Of course I’m worried, I have no idea where he is.  
TG: hell be fine  
TG: hes prob just at johns or karkats or somethin  
TG: hes gonna come back soon enough  
TT: You’re probably right.  
TT: I am going to explain myself when he gets here  
TG: explain urself?  
TG: shouldnt u apologise?  
TT: Apologise?  
TG: yeah?  
TG: since u made him upset  
TG: and ur kinda in the wrong  
TT: Yeah, maybe you’re right.  
TG: lol ofc im right  
TG: well i gotta go  
TG: gotta talk to my new moirail ;)  
TT: See you tomorrow.  
TG: c ya!

tipsyGnostalgic stopped pestering timaeusTestified

You put your phone back in your pocket. You didn’t even think to apologize. You really should. You thought it was for his safety, but maybe having other siblings would be good for him. You guess now you’re just waiting for Dave to come back to apologize to him.  
  
Wait, a moirail? Isn’t that some troll romance thing, Roxy is dating a troll. It’s most likely the guy she’s been spending a lot of time with recently, Eridan Ampora.  
  
Might as well get some work done while you wait. You get to work on an engineering project to get it done ahead of time. You head to your desk and get to work.  
  
It’s been almost four hours. You’re worried. You haven’t heard anything from Dave yet. You’ve finished your project and all your work for the next week and now you're pacing around in the living room.  
  
You should do something. You grab your phone and open pesterchum. You try to pester Dave first, but he blocked you, so you try John in case he went to his house to sleep over.

timaeusTestified started pestering ectoBiologist at 11:59

TT: John, did Dave go to your house tonight.  
TT: Dave left and hasn’t come back yet.  
TT: I assumed that I would ask if he’s sleeping over with you.  
TT: I’ll assume you’re not awake then.

timaeusTestified stopped pestering ectoBiologist

Shit.  
  
He has to be at Karkat’s then. You look for his chumhandle on your chum list. You tap carcinoGeneticist and start typing.

timaeusTestifed started pestering carcinoGeneticist at 12:06

TT: Hey Karkat, is Dave at your apartment.  
TT: I haven’t seen him all night.

You’re about to close your phone and go looking for Dave yourself when he finally responds.

CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TEXTING ME AT MIDNIGHT!  
TT: I have already said why I’m texting you at midnight.  
TT: Just answer the question.  
CG: YES HE’S HERE JEGUS  
CG: HE GOT HERE A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO  
TT: Is he sleeping there tonight?  
CG: YES HE’S ALREADY ALSEEP NEXT TO ME ON THIS FUCKING HUMAN BED  
TT: And you’re awake?  
CG: I CAN NEVER SLEEP AND THESE GRUB FUCKING BEDS ANYWAY  
CG: AND DAVE ALWAYS REFUSES TO SLEEP IN THE RECUPERACOON  
CG: SO HERE I AM AWAKE ALL NIGHT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT  
TT: He told you what happened?  
CG: OF COURSE HE DID ASSHOLE  
CG: YOU REALLY PISSED HIM OFF  
TT: Yes that’s understandable.  
TT: I wanted to apologize to him  
CG: GOOD  
CG: HE HAS EVERY FUCKING RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE TO BE MAD AT YOU  
TT: Yeah, I know.  
TT: I really fucked up didn’t I.  
CG: YEP  
CG: YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME  
TT: Did he tell you anything else about it?  
CG: MOSTLY THAT YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE  
TT: Yeah I deserve that.  
CG: YEAH, YOU DO  
CG: HE ALSO SAID THAT IT WAS MADE WORSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT  
TT: Rose and Roxy did take it surprisingly well.  
CG: JUST DON’T EXPECT HIM TO FIND IT NORMAL RIGHT AWAY  
CG: HE JUST NEEDS SOME TIME TO ADJUST  
TT: I can do that.  
CG: OKAY NOW FUCK OFF SO I CAN ATTEMPT TO GET ANY MINISCULE AMOUNT OF SLEEP ON THIS GOG FORSAKEN DEATH TRAP OF A SLEEPING DEVICE

carcinoGeneticist stopped pestering timaeusTestified

At least Dave is okay, he’s still pissed at you, but he’s okay. And that’s enough for you.  
  
With all that worry finally out of your system, the exhaustion catches up to you. You slump down on the couch and let your head fall back. As your eyes begin to close you recall the events of the night. How you pissed off your twin, took a lap around the block while calling your boyfriend, and freaked out for four hours. Strider style.


	16. Let's Get this Party Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy and friends prepare to go to the sleepover at the Egberts' house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sorry that it has taken this long for me to update. I've been really busy lately and I just couldn't keep up the pace of weekly updates. I'm now going to try to update every other weekend and hopefully I'll be able to be able to manage that better. I hope you enjoy this chapter though.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and the last about 18ish hours have been a-MAZE-ing.  
  
Firstly, you spent almost all of last night talking with your new moirail Eridan. It was mostly about moirail etiquette, such as pale dating activities and “wwhat’s said in the pile stays in the pile.”  
  
You also helped Dirk with a mini freak out over Dave running out on him after he found out Dirk never told him about his sisters. Oh yeah and you found out that you and Rose are their sisters.  
  
So reasonably, you’ve been in high spirits all day. Although Dirk has been better. He hides it well enough, with his sunglasses and perfectly spiky hair, but you know that he’s probably hurting inside. Their guardian really hasn’t been there all that much for them, so the Strider twins only had each other for most of their lives.  
  
You’ve seen Dirk try to approach Dave a couple times, but every time Dave ran away before he could say anything. So yeah, not so great a day for the Striders.  
  
Currently, you’re in the car with your moirail, Eridan, your sister, Rose, and your sister’s matesprit, Kanaya. Rose is driving all of you home from school, mostly because she doesn’t trust you not to scare the guests with your driving skillz. Rose and Kanaya are in the front talking about somethin’ or other, while you and Eri are talking about the differences between human and troll Harry Potter (the troll version is way raunchier).  
  
“An’ then Haarry casts the spell-” Eridan is cut off by a sound coming from your phone. “You gonna get that?”  
  
You reach into your pocket, “yeah, gimme a sec.” You take out your phone, it’s a pesterchum notification. You open up the log while Eridan shamelessly looks over your shoulder, which makes you giggle.

gutsyGumshoe started pestering tipsyGnostalgic at 3:45 PM

GG: Hey, so I just found out last minute that my idiot brother is having a sleepover tomorrow and told me to invite you.  
TG: oooohhh  
TG: a sleepover at the egberts  
TG: im game  
TG: are my bros comin too  
GG: Yes the Striders will be attending as well.  
GG: Golly, it’s still so weird that you share the same father as them.  
TG: ikr  
TG: wholl b goin  
GG: John invited all of his friends, along with Karkat and Kanaya.  
GG: And I am inviting you, Jake, and Dirk.  
TG: oooh can eri go  
GG: Eridan, your troll boyfriend? Yes, he is allowed to come too.  
TG: sweet!!  
GG: How are things going between the two of you anywho?  
TG: great!  
TG: eris been teachin me bout moirail stuff  
TG: and its been super fun!  
GG: Moirail stuff? What does that mean, I thought you two were boyfriend and girlfriend?  
TG: trolls n humans do romance differently  
TG: moirallegiance is one of the troll quadrants  
GG: Then what does that entail?  
TG: well its like being friends  
TG: but way more like  
TG: intimate?  
GG: Well I don’t quite understand, but I’m happy it’s working for you.  
TG: aawwww  
TG: thx janey :)  
GG: So swing on by at 6:00 pm.  
TG: u got it

gutsyGumshoe stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic

You look up from your phone and Eridan quickly scoots back in his seat from his position over your shoulder. “Lol, I assume you read my texts.” Eridan looks a little embarrassed, “so you wanna go?”  
  
“Wwhale I’vve nevver been to a human sleepovver before, so wwhy not. Not like I got anyfin better ta do.”  
  
You enthusiastically pump your fist in the air, “hell yeah!” You look over to the front of the car, “you two’re goin’ too right?”  
  
Rose briefly cuts off her conversation with Kanaya to answer you, “yes I was going to pick Kanaya up before the party tomorrow and head there together. You and Eridan are welcome to join us in that plan.” Rose then returns to talking with Kanaya on books or somethin’ idk.  
  
“So wwhat usually happens at these,” you look back to Eridan as he is doing finger quotes, “sleepovvers.”  
  
“Lol, well the sleepover part is obvious, everyone that goes stays the night and leaves the next morning. And most of the actual party just involves us hangin’ around in our pjs watchin’ movies or playin’ games.”  
  
“An the Egbert’s hivve has enough respiteblocks for all of us?”  
  
“Lol yeah if we don’t pass out on the couch the boys sleep on the floor in John’s room and the girls in Jane’s room.”  
  
“Wwait, the floor?” Eridan looks positively flabbergasted. “Human beds are already obnoxious enough to sleep in. I take back my going, I’d nevver fall asleep on the hard floor.”  
  
“I mean we’re gonna have sleeping bags so the floor’s not gonna be that hard. C’mon Eri you don’t gotta be such a drama queen it’ll be fun!”  
  
Eridan heaves a big sigh, then a smile cracks on his face as he rolls his eyes. “Fin, ya wweared me dowwn. ”  
  
“Yeah!” You sling an arm around him like a half-hug while your other arms pumps into the air. Eri’s gills flap in that adorable way that happens when he’s embarrassed as you just keep cheering.  
  
After another minute or two of driving you drop off the trolls at their apartment building. You and Rose say your goodbyes before driving off again.  
  
You reach your house to see that your mother is nowhere to be seen. She’s probably off doin’ her sciency stuff somewhere in the city.  
  
You and Rose enter the house and throw your school stuff in your own rooms, because it’s Friday and you’re not gonna need it anytime soon. The rest of the night is spent trying to complete your homework early like a good student and failing at that completely to talk to your new moirail about how excited you are for the sleepover tomorrow.  
  
Eridan calls it a night at a modest 10:30, whereas you stay up til like 1:00 in a mix of actually getting schoolwork done and crushing some noobs in smash bros online.  
  
You wake up to a repeated buzzing going off from your bedside table. You grab your phone to see what the heck is interrupting your sleep. The time on your phone displays 10:25 am. You then realize that all of the texts were from Eridan. The first few are asking if you were awake yet. Then they turned into ‘why aren’t you awake yet’. Which then escalated into him telling you that he ‘isn’t worried’ and more recently him asking you to text him back when you wake up before he loses his mind.  
  
So you do exactly that

TG: lol eri im fine  
CA: FINALLY  
CA: you were asleep so long I thought you wwere comatosed or somefin  
CA: i evven tried texting rose ta make sure you wwere alright  
TG: lol that couldntve gone good  
CA: a course it didnt  
CA: she told me that if i didnt leave her alone she would summon the power of some all knowwin elder gods or somefin like that  
TG: lmao  
TG: yea eri im fine  
TG: just not a morning person lol  
TG: so u cant freak out if im not awake before 11  
TG: ur allowed to freak out if its after 2 tho  
TG: thats allowed  
CA: no promises  
TG: lol  
TG: k ima get some coffee  
TG: talk to u soon  
CA: <>  
TG: huh whats that  
CA: oh uh  
CA: its the symbol for moirallegiance  
CA: diamonds  
TG: ooooohhh  
TG: <>  
TG: thats super cool!  
CA: So are you gonna go get that coffee still?  
TG: u right u right  
CA: catch ya later  
TG: <>  
CA: <>

caligulasAquarium stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic

And with that you hop out of bed and stretch before heading to the kitchen for some coffee. On the way to the kitchen you pass Rose sitting on the couch reading a book. She does not look very happy rn, probably because Eridan woke her up early (well, early for us).  
  
You give her a wide berth and slip into the kitchen. You grab your favorite cat printed mug and turn on the automatic coffeemaker. With a slight whirring noise it starts to brew. Mutie slips into the kitchen because of the noise from the coffeemaker. “Aww, hey there lil’ guy.” You pick him up and he meows in your arms. You use your fingers to play with him until you hear the beep that tells you your drink’s done. You gently put Mutie on the counter and he scrambles away. You take your mug and down half of it in one go.  
  
You follow Mutie out of the kitchen to the living room, where he leaps onto the couch next to Rose. Rose, still not in a good mood, shoos him away towards the other end of the couch. Mutie dejectedly walks to the other end of the couch and lies down. You walk by Rose to give Mutie a nice scratch behind his ears before sitting down next to him.  
  
“Hey so you know when we’re supposed to be at the Egbert’s?”  
  
Rose flips another page of her book. Without looking up she responds, “I believe we are to be there at about 2:00. But I did hear that from John so it could all be an elaborate prank to get us to arrive early.”  
  
“Ughh, but what’re we supposed to do for three hours?” Mutie gets up to reposition himself on your lap.  
  
“Well you could pack your sleepover supplies or actually finish your homework.”  
  
You roll your eyes. “Homework is so boring. And all I gotta pack is some pjs and a sleepin’ bag, it’ll take like two minutes.”  
  
Rose only makes a slight humming noise in response as she flips a page and continues reading her book.  
  
“So what's your matesprit up to,” you add a waggle of your eyebrows for effect.  
  
Her mood immediately changes from grumpy to a little more happier. “She’s picking out her outfits for the sleepover at the moment.” She rolls her eyes but the hint of a smile on her lips betrays what she says. “And your moirail?”  
  
“Lol I’m sure you knew what he was up to.” Rose’s face falls back into a scowl as she remembers what woke her up this morning. “He was freaking out cuz I woke up so late.”  
  
Rose forcefully turns another page in her book. “I prefer to think that everyone else just wakes up too early.” You laugh out loud which only draws more grumbles from Rose.  
  
“I think he’s excited to experience ‘human sleepovvers’ for himself lol.”  
  
Rose pauses from her reading, “that’s true, trolls probably did not have sleepovers where they are from. Our friend group has had plenty but this is the first one for the trolls.”  
  
“Yeah so we gotta make it count!” Rose smiles and nods, then returns to reading her book in peace.  
  
While waiting for the party to start you do eventually get to packing stuff for the sleepover, while texting Eridan to make sure that he has everything he needs too. You pass the time playing games or talking to your friends on pesterchum until it’s time to pick up the trolls. Rose gets you at about 1:00 and you two head to the garage to hop in the car. You call dibs on driving but Rose outright refuses to let you drive. You pout and enter on the passenger side.  
  
Rose pulls out of your driveway and heads in the direction of the trolls’ apartment.  
  
“So uh, I’ve been meaning to ask you what is our plan for tomorrow’s dinner?” You entered the city a few minutes ago, meaning you’re in pretty bad traffic and about halfway to the apartment.  
  
“Well, mostly for all of us to come out to our parents as gay xenophiles and hope that we are not kicked out onto the streets. If you are looking for a more formal plan I was hoping to establish one at some point tonight or midday tomorrow with us, the Striders, and our unaccepted relationship partners present.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s fair.” You shift a little uncomfortably in your seat. “Do ya think that mom’ll really kick us out?”  
  
Rose’s hands seem to grip the steering wheel a little tighter than before. “I doubt that she would actually abandon us, though moving to a new city or not allowing us to leave the house seem like possibilities.” You feel your chest begin to tighten a bit at the thought of leaving all of your friends and Eridan behind. Rose seems to pick this up and follows up with, “but I doubt it will come to that, she has rarely parented us before, there is no reason to think that this will be any different.”  
  
“Yeah… I hope so.” You don’t really feel like talking right now so you turn your attention to the window and watch all the people and cars go by.  
  
You and Rose don’t talk for a large portion of the drive. The silence is only broken when Rose turns the radio on to listen to some sort of classical music.  
  
You sneakily try to turn the knob thingy so that it’ll change to a different station. Rose catches your hand before you can even touch the knob thingy. “Aww c’mon do we hafta listen to this?”  
  
She lets loose a fake sigh, “sadly ‘tis the rule. The driver selects whatever music they want to listen to.”  
  
“But that’s not fair, you never let me drive.”  
  
“Well, that is because you are a terrible driver.”  
  
You put your hand to your chest and make a small o with your mouth in astonishment. “How dare you spread such slander, and about your own sister!”  
  
You see Rose start to laugh, which manages to crack you up too. “I am sorry my sister, but all I tell is the straight truth.”  
  
You put your hand on your sister’s shoulder with a huge smile on your face and about to break down into laughter. “There’s nothin’ straight about you sis.”  
  
Your laughter finally bursts and even Rose can’t hide her big smile and chuckles. It seems that you’ve succeeded in lightening the mood, and right before you arrive at the trolls’ apartment building. While waiting in the car outside their apartment, you text Eridan that you’re here while Rose texts Kanaya.  
  
After a few minutes you see them come down, Eridan, Kanaya, and Karkat? You didn’t realize he was coming with you. They manage to squeeze into the backseat with Karkat jammed in the middle. “Hey Karkat, didn’t know you were riding with us.”  
  
“WELL SORRY TO BE SO FUCKING UNEXPECTED, ASSHAT.” Eridan gives him a side glare, which Karkat responds with a grumble and dramatic rolling of his eyes.  
  
Rose starts driving the car in the direction of Egbert’s house while she responds. “Dave didn’t want to drive all the way here to pick up Karkat when we were going to come here anyway. So he decided we should carpool.”  
  
Sburb apartments aren't very close to Jane and John’s house, so there was about a twenty-ish to thirty minute drive to go. During the trip, Rose and Kanaya engage in polite conversation and casual flirting between the two rows. Meanwhile you and the boys argue about human sleepover norms and how they are “STUPID GRUBFUCKING BULLSHIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE.” About halfway through, Rose finally concedes and lets you choose the radio station. You put on a pop love song that gets Karkat’s attention.  
  
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL OF YOUR HUMAN POP CULTURE. EVERY GRUBFUCKING, SHITSPEWING ROMANCE STORY IS A REDROM BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. ONE. THERE’S MORE THAN JUST ONE QUADRANT EXCREMENT FOR PANS.”  
  
Karkat’s rant seems to have caught Rose’s attention away from her exotic lover. “While yes, human culture is almost aggressively heteronormative to the point of ostricizing any who do not fit to those parameters. Your quadrant argument is faulty, we have only been in contact with trolls for merely a decade, and nearly all trolls are localized in New York City. To be sincere, trolls have yet to make a substantial impact on our race’s culture as a whole.”  
  
“Yeah and most humans aren’t that accepting to things they aren’t used to.”  
  
“Is that wwhy there are so many humans out there that despise us and wwant us off their planet?” Eridan pitches in.  
  
“Yeah, and it sucks. I mean trolls are just like humans, in the stuff that matters anyway. It’s not fair to be a-holes to them just cuz they’re different.”  
  
“It is as you said, humanity as a whole is not that accepting of change.”  
  
“ALTERNIA SURE AS FUCKING HELL WASN’T THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE, BUT AT LEAST WE WEREN’T SO ASS-BACKWARDS IN OUR CULTURE.”  
  
“Well, To As The Human’s Say ‘Play Devil’s Advocate’ Here, Alternia Was Not Accepting Of Other Alien Races Either. Alternia Preferred To Merely Eradicate Or Enslave The Problem Instead Of Just Treating Them As Lesser.”  
  
“FINE, FINE! BOTH OF OUR SPECIES ARE XENOPHOBIC ASSHOLES, BUT IN DIFFERNET WAYS. ARE YOU HAPPY?”  
  
“I would not say happy, but satisfied, yes.” Karkat continues fuming while Rose looks satisfied with herself. “And we are here.” You look forward and realize you’re parked right in front of the Egberts’ driveway. You must have been too into the conversation to notice how close you were.  
  
You all get out of the car and approach their house. It’s pretty nice overall, white two story suburban house right outside of the city. It’s not half the width of your and Rose’s house but still fairly large. Cozy, you’d call it nice and cozy. You lead the group and step up to the door, walking past the Strider’s signature red truck. You get up to the door, press the doorbell. You hear the ring echo throughout the house in front of you  
  
The excitement of the events to come bubble in you. You can’t wait to get this party started.


	17. Popcorn and Crushed Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new guests arrive at John's party and John makes some popcorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bit late but I hope you enjoy :)

Your name is John Egbert and you’re currently the host of an awesome sleepover party with your friends. Well you’re going to have a party when the rest of your friends get here. Right now though, you have Dave, Jade, Dirk, and Jake (not including your sister and yourself). Dirk, Jake, Jade and Jane are on the couch talking while you and Dave are sifting through movies to watch on the floor. Now you’re just waiting for the rest of your friends to arrive, Karkat, Rose, Kanaya, and especially Roxy. Well it’s not like you’re waiting especially for Roxy, it’s just that she’s definitely going to be here, you hope.  
  
Okay, you might have a little crush on Roxy Lalonde. Okay a big crush on Roxy. But you can’t help it! She’s smart, funny, not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. It’s too bad you don’t have a chance of being with her.  
  
You feel a poke on your shoulder. “Dude what’s up, you haven’t suggested any stupid Cage movies for like a solid minute there.” You look over to Dave, who is still wearing his sunglasses even inside, I mean who does that! He’s sitting next to you with three piles of dvds in front of him sorted into good, bad, and “ironic.”  
  
“Oh it’s nothing. I’m just super hyped for the party! It’s gonna be so much fun.”  
  
“Oh I bet you’re just in awe of how cool I am. Scientists are stumped, they didn’t think anything could be cooler than absolute zero, until they met me, I’m actually on the run from the government, they wanted to perform experiments on me to find out just how I could be this damn cool…” Dave just keeps rambling about how “cool” and “awesome” he is, he might have even said tubular. You kind of zone out while he talks, just sorting through your amazing collection of dvds.  
  
A noise snaps you out of your haze, the doorbell. Everyone else must be here! You get up and walk over to the door. You twist the handle and open the door. You are greeted immediately by Roxy, followed by Rose, Karkat, Kanaya, and another troll that you don’t recognize. “Heyyyy, it’s partay time!” You awkwardly stumble out of the doorway to let your guests in. Kanaya and Rose make their way over to the side of the couch next to Dave, while Roxy, and the other troll you don’t know walk over and talk with Jane and Dirk.  
  
You decide to join the group with Dave and Rose on the end of the couch. “So did you guys decide on a movie yet?”  
  
“WE WOULD HAVE IF YOU ACTUALLY HAD ANY MOVIES THAT WEREN’T COMPLETE BARK BEAST SHIT.” Karkat starts scrambling through your dvds. “I MEAN NOT A SINGLE OF THESE FUCKING MOVIES ARE WORTH ANYTHING.”  
  
“Oh c’mon Kittykat,” for a moment you think that Dave might actually like your movie tastes. “Some of these movies are ironically pretty good,” you take it back he still doesn’t understand good movies. Meanwhile Rose and Kanaya just look down at all of you with amusement.  
  
“Okay we’ve narrowed it down to Con Air and National Treasure 2. Let’s take it to a party vote.” You raise National Treasure’s dvd case, “who wants to watch National Treasure 2 first?” Jake immediately shoots his hand up, with Dirk following less enthusiastically behind. Jane rolls her eyes before raising her hand as well. This looks to be a clear win for Con Air. With a smile you raise Con Air’s dvd case, “who wants to watch Con Air first?” You scan the room and find that not a single person has raised their hand. “Aw c’mon guys seriously. Most of you didn’t even vote!”  
  
Karkat is the first to explain himself, “IT’S BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT TO WATCH EITHER OF THOSE SHITTY EXCUSES FOR FILMS.”  
  
“I would not have put it as brashly, but yes that is the reason most of us voted for neither option.”  
  
Dave proceeds to stand up. “Hey who wants to pick something off Netflix instead.” The rest of the party raise their hand, with even Jane and Dirk switching their vote. Traitors. You see that Roxy at least mouths a sorry to you as she raises her hand for Netflix. Jake is the only one that seems to have actually wanted to watch National Treasure 2.  
  
Jane takes the remote and pulls up Netflix on the TV while everyone picks out their seat on the couch. Your couch is shaped like an L, and everyone takes a seat from left to right: Jane, Jake, Dirk, Roxy, the troll who you still don’t know the name of, Rose, Kanaya, Karkat, Dave, you, and Jade on the end.  
  
Jane is scrolling through the Netflix recommendations with everyone commenting on whether or not to watch one, when you realize that there’s no snacks out yet. “Hey guys I’m going to go make popcorn, since nobody values my movie opinions anyway,” you grumble the last part.  
  
Dave jumps up to follow you. “Hey I’m gonna come too.” You shrug and just continue to the kitchen with Dave following close behind. You open the kitchen door to luckily find your dad nowhere in sight. You had told him that he doesn’t need to make any cakes for you all during the party and after way too much arguing, you got him to not interfere with your party.  
  
You reach up into the shelf and get three bags of microwave-popcorn. After, you move over to the microwave and shove a bag in before pressing the popcorn button. You turn your head and look at Dave, who is leaning on the counter and looking down at his fingers tapping the countertop.  
  
“Hey what’s up?” you ask, to no response from Dave. You wave your hand in front of his face to get his attention, “hey Daaave, c’mon bro.”  
  
Dave seems to snap out of whatever thought he was thinking. “Huh what. Oh sorry bro I was lost in my own thoughts for a minute there, it was like goddamn season 27 of Lost up in my head.”  
  
“Well what were you so deep in thought about?”  
  
Dave continues to stare at his tapping fingers instead of you. At least you think he is, you can’t really tell with his uncool sunglasses on. “Nah it’s nothin.”  
  
“Dude come on.” You take the popcorn bag out of the microwave and put another bag in. “It’s so obviously not nothing. No one actually says nothing when it’s really nothing. That’s like movie trope number one, or at least like a pretty low number. So just tell me.”  
  
Dave lets out a small sigh before turning to face you. “Guess I’m just still mad at Dirk.”  
  
“Dirk? Why would you be mad at your brother.”  
  
Dave looks genuinely surprised, “wait dude you didn’t hear?” You shake your head. “Dave kept the fact that Roxy and Rose are my sisters from me.”  
  
Wait what. “Roxy and Rose are your sisters?” you pretty much scream. “Why doesn’t anybody tell me these things? I thought we were bros.”  
  
“We are bros, you’re like my number one bro, the og.” The slight smirk that Dave gets when he's joking fades away as he looks away from you again. “It’s just not something I wanna talk about much right now.”  
  
“Yeah I get you, it’s pretty freaky.”  
  
Dave’s head quickly turns to face yours. “I know right? Like everyone’s totally chill with this crazy whirlwind of freakiness, and I’m over here just gettin’ blown by all this sibling stuff, taken away straight from Kansas to some far away land.”  
  
“Ew, Dave getting blown by your siblings is gross,” you say with a goofy grin on your face.  
  
The blond boy facepalms and then drags his hand down his face to remove it. “Dude, you know what I mean. I’m gonna get fucked so much with all these freudian slips like a goddamn hooker on valentine's day, all these sad lonely freuds are gonna pay me just to feel something, man did this get dark fast. Anyway my point is the Freudian tornado is gonna come to ol’ Daveville and it ain’t gonna be pretty.”  
  
Out of respect for the craft, you let Dave finish his ramblings before speaking. “Ok dude I got it, I’ll lay off as much as I can with the sibling jokes.” The microwave goes off again so you take the second bag out and put the third in. “Also Dirk knew about it? That’s kinda not very cool of him to hide that from you.”  
  
“Thank you. He didn’t even apologize once. That’s very kinda not very cool of him.”  
  
“Yeah totally uncool,” you say while shaking your head disapprovingly.  
  
“Bro, you said he wasn’t cool like thirty times, think of another insult to say about him behind his back.”  
  
“Uh,” you think for a moment. “That fucker.” You immediately hear a ding coming from your phone. You take it out and check to see a message from your father that just reads “language.” Dave nearly falls over laughing once he sees the text. “How did he even hear me!”  
  
The final bag of popcorn beeps in the microwave. With embarrassment rising in your face you grab the popcorn bags and dump them into two large bowls for all of you to share.  
  
Dave grabs one bowl and you grab the other and the two of you head back into the living room to dish them out. Dave sits back where he was sitting before and starts throwing handfuls of popcorn in his mouth while Karkat scrambles to steal some out of the bowl. You walk across the room and go to hand the bowl to Roxy. When she notices you coming she licks her lips like a cartoon character and reaches for the bowl. When she takes the bowl she says, “thanks Johnny, wonk,” with a wink (or a wonk? You honestly have no clue what a wonk even is). Heat rushes to your face, so you quickly turn around and mumble something that hopefully sounded like your welcome before scurrying back to your seat next to Dave and Jade.  
  
Was she flirting with you? No you doubt it, she was probably just being playful right? Girls do that. You’re sure of it. Pretty sure anyway. Even if she was, you wouldn’t want even the slightest chance of being wrong if you tell her how you feel. You’d die of embarrassment. Definitely.  
  
Once you sit back in your seat you notice that Jade has been watching you the whole time. “Ooooh, looks like ‘Johnny’s got a crush.”  
  
“Uhh, no I don’t!”  
  
“Aw c’mon I definitely know what I saw there.” She puts her fingers together, “I for sure saw some chemistry between you two.”  
  
Red once again rises to your face as you give Jade a playful shove that nearly pushes her off the end of the couch. She takes it in good fun and just starts laughing to herself.  
  
Dave seems to have overheard your conversation as he interrupts with, “dude that’s my sister, c’mon man show a little respect.”  
  
“What do you mean show respect? I’ll let you know that I’m a gentleman when it comes to women, my dad taught me well. And I thought you didn’t like to talk about them being your sisters.”  
  
Dave shrugs in response, “nah dude it’s cool when I do it.”  
  
“What no, that’s such bullshit.”  
  
Jade regains her position on the couch, “yeah John you have to ask the brother’s permission in order to date her.” Jade makes kissing faces as well just to make you even more flustered… she succeeded.  
  
Thankfully you get saved when Jane interrupts by standing and holding the tv remote up. “I have an announcement to make. We have decided that the movie that we are going to watch this afternoon is Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse.” Roxy jumps in the air with excitement, nearly throwing the popcorn off her lap. But thankfully the troll sitting next to her caught it before it could hit the floor. You should probably learn his name at some point. Eh, whatever. It’ll happen at some point no doubt.  
  
Jane sits back down and plays the movie. You realize that it’s still pretty bright in the room so you get up to close the blinds and turn the lights off. And it’s only partially an excuse to hide your increasingly warm face from Jade and Dave’s teasing. You hop off the couch and circle around the room, flicking off the light switch and the lamp before heading over to the curtain. You close the curtain and darkness fills the room.  
  
With this vantage point behind everyone and with how dark it is, you can barely see people with no one being able to see you. So you take this opportunity to see what everyone's up to. Jade already has her feet where your butt used to be. Dave is leaning on Karkat, who seems to be begrudgingly accepting it. Kanaya and Rose are sitting close while holding each other’s hands in Rose’s lap. The troll sitting next to Rose and Roxy appears to be leaning his head on Roxy’s shoulder, and she’s got an arm around him.  
  
Oh.  
  
Yeah, duh. That’s why she brought him here. They’re boyfriend and girlfriend. Obviously. God you’re an idiot, thinking you could actually be with someone like her.  
  
With all your hope drained out of you in an instant, you shuffle back to your seat and slump down into it. Jade notices you come back and looks like she’s about to start teasing you again. But she seems to figure out that you’re really not in the mood for it right now, and leaves you alone.  
  
The movie starts and everyone quiets down and begins to watch. Other than the occasional whisper, the only noises that you can hear are coming from the movie.  
  
You look back over to the troll guy that is in Roxy’s arm. You can faintly make them out from the light of the tv reflecting onto their faces. Roxy reaches her arm up and touches something on his face. As a reaction he lightly hits her with his elbow. And she just laughs.  
  
Your gaze travels downward to look at the floor instead of your crush and her boyfriend. You have no idea who this guy is, or how long they’ve been together. But it doesn’t matter anymore, you lost your chance with her, like you even had one. You secretly wonder what’s going through his head at the moment.


	18. Movies and Monopoly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and the gang watch a movie then play some monopoly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> I'm sorry I took so long to finish this, I've been real busy in December. Hopefully I can go back to my regular schedule :)

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you just arrived at this “sleepover” party at the Egbert’s hive. You know most of everyone here, and you recognize the others as the relatives of Jane and Jake.  
  
You are currently sitting between the two Lalonde sisters, one of which is your moirail Roxy. Jane’s sibling, Karkat, and Dave are in the corner deciding on what movie to watch while the rest of you are on the couch talking.  
  
The male Egbert stands up and holds two dvd cases. “Okay we’ve narrowed it down to Con Air and National Treasure 2. Let’s take it to a party vote.”  
  
You’ve never heard of either movie so you lean over and whisper to Roxy, “I’vve nevver heard a either of these movvies.”  
  
She covers her mouth with her hand and leans back in your direction. “Trust me that’s a good thing. Just don’t vote for either.” You shrug and keep your hands down when the voting begins. The first one gets a vote or two, while the second gets zero votes. Dave petitions to just watch a movie on Netflix instead, Roxy raises her hand so you do as well.  
  
Netflix obviously wins so Jane takes the remote from her brother and starts browsing through movies. Dave and Egbert disappear into the kitchen to get some popcorn while the rest of the party argues about movies. You don’t recognize most of the movies you see, so you mostly stay out of it. The movies you do recognize are usually ones that Karkat used to make you watch with him. So most of the rom-coms on Netflix.  
  
Eventually the male Egbert returns with bowls of popcorn. Roxy notices him coming over to your side and tries to grab at the popcorn. He gives it to her and she replies with “thanks Johnny, wonk,” with a wonk of her eye at the end. You notice that her face has a slight tint of red from her blood as she talks to him.  
  
The boy, apparently named Johnny, nervously walks off to the other end of the couch. Roxy begins to shove popcorn in her face before the rest of the couch notices she has the bowl.  
  
You turn to your moirail, “that nerd definitely has a flush crush on ya Rox.” Roxy nearly chokes on a piece of popcorn. You just put your finger to your chin, “an if I wwere ta guess, I’d say that you’vve got your owwn flush crush on the kid too?”  
  
Rox manages to swallow the popcorn in her throat. “What, no way. We’re just friends.”  
  
She looks away and drops the bowl of popcorn in Dirk’s lap. “Aww c’mon Rox I’m your moirail, I knoww these things. You definitely have a flush crush on him.”  
  
Roxy lets out a sigh, “yeah okay I might have a teeny weeny tiny little crush on him.” She demonstrates how tiny her crush is by putting her thumb and index finger really close together.  
  
You roll your eyes. “Okay, but really, him?” You point to the geek with the huge glasses. “Rox, you’re like a ten at least. He’s a four at most.”  
  
Roxy quickly shakes her head. “What, no. He’s at least a 7, with those dorky glasses and his adorable smile. He’s adorkable, end of story, no arguments there Eri.  
  
You give her a toothy grin. “I think your crush on him is more than ‘teeny wweeny tiny’ like you said.” Jane asks if people want to watch some movie about spiders and the multiverse. Roxy must see this as an out and immediately perks up and goes to talk to her.  
  
You give another look in Johnny’s direction and frown a bit. His face is very red and he seems to be arguing with Dave and Jake’s relative. What does she see in him? He doesn’t seem good enough to be her matesprit. He has oversized glasses, and huge buck teeth. A four might’ve been too high.  
  
Your attention is drawn away when Jane announces that we are watching a movie about some sort of human spider creature. You didn’t know Roxy was into horror movies. Roxy returns to her seat next to you looking pretty excited about the movie.  
  
The TV starts playing the opening sequence of the movie. You look over to Roxy and she is intently watching with a smile on her face. Her smile gets even bigger when you lean your head on her shoulder. She adjusts herself so that you’re both comfortable and you both go back to watching the movie. The narrator starts talking about some guy and his feats as a spider themed hero, and you’re pretty confused with all this new information.  
  
The lights go off and as you're watching you feel something touch your gills. You instinctively jerk away and look to your left. You see Roxy with a hand where your face used to be and her other hand is over her mouth to attempt to keep her laughter in. You give her a friendly elbow, which just makes her laugh harder. You cross your arms, turn your head away from her and huff dramatically.  
  
You try to focus on the movie for a bit, before you’re interrupted by a weight on your arm. You look down and see Roxy staring up at you with her big, round, pink eyes.  
  
You can’t help but smile as you wrap your arm around her to pull her closer. Your moirail moves up and rests her head on your shoulder with a satisfactory smile. And you in turn, rest your head softly against hers.  
  
Almost two hours pass and the movie ends. You found it pretty good, the humans seemed to enjoy it much more than the trolls did. No one made any obvious noise other than Karkat, who spent nearly the whole movie scream whispering about the blatant romantic interests of the characters. Roxy also enjoyed it a lot. She spent the movie leaning against you, oohing and ahing at all a the spider man’s tricks.  
  
And now the group has decided to play some human game called monopoly.  
  
“JOHN HOW THE FUCK DO WE PLAY THIS ACTUAL PIECE OF CARDBOARD FLAVORED GARBAGE?”  
  
“Honestly Karkat it’s not nearly as hard as you make it out to be. You just roll the dice, move your little thingy, and buy properties.” John points to the dice and board as he explains this. Karkat seems utterly confused in response. Kanaya looks like she’s getting it, but you know she’s almost as confused as Karkat. “It’ll be fine you’ll learn as we play. We don’t have enough pieces so you guys can pair up anyway.”  
  
Karkat grumbles and sits next to Dave around the board. Kanaya sits next to Rose, obviously. Dirk and Jake also pair up by choice, because apparently as Dirk puts it, “Jake’ll bankrupt in about three turns if we don’t.”  
  
And you pair up with Roxy. “Oh yeah, we got dis. I’m the MASTER at monopoly, like the queen. All those losers are gonna bow down to us.”  
  
“Ya knoww, them bowwin dowwn ta us doesn’t sound half bad. I’m ready ta wwin this thin.” Roxy chuckles and you two take your seats around the board.  
  
And with that everybody chooses their pieces. Jane goes first and picks the hat. Dirk and Jake pick the car. Rose lets Kanaya choose their piece, and after far too much consideration, she chooses the iron. Before Karkat can even get a word in, Dave chooses the shoe. Jake’s sibling or family member or something, chooses the dog. Roxy lets you pick because of something called “beginner’s luck.” You obviously choose the mighty battleship as your piece. You announce it as such, to the snickering of Kanaya. You shoot her a glare and sit back down next to your moirail. Johnny is left with the wheelbarrow or the weird metal cup. He chooses the wheelbarrow.  
  
With that out of the way, Jane starts to make announcements on what to do. “To start the game everybody rolls two dice in order to determine who goes first. The team with the highest number goes first, the second highest goes second and so on.”  
  
All the teams start rolling dice. Roxy hands you the dice, “I give the honor of determining our role to you.”  
  
You smirk, “just wwatch, I’m gonna roll beta than evveryone here.” You take the dice, give them a nice rattle in your hands and roll. A two and a three. Roxy nearly falls over in laughter while you pull up your scarf to hide the shame on your face. “These dice must be rigged or somefin.”  
  
Your roll of five means that you go second last, only beating Karkat’s snake eyes. Which caused Karkat to scream about a do-over and Dave to regard Karkat as “the chosen one,” which only pissed him off more. Rose was the highest, followed by Dirk, Jade, Johnny, Jane, then you and Karkat.  
  
The game begins with Rose and Kanaya’s team up first. “I believe you should be the one to start this game,” Rose says while handing the dice to Kanaya.  
  
Kanaya puts her hand on Rose’s and gently pushes it back in the other girl’s direction. “No, I Believe It Is Best That You Be The One To Make The First Move In This Game. You Are The Far More Experienced Player Out Of The Two Of Us. And I Certainly Do Not Doubt Your Ability In This Game.”  
  
“Well I certainly disagree. It is as my sister said, the beginner’s are the ones with all the luck. And seeing how this is a game of chance, you should be the one to roll the dice first.”  
  
“While I Believe That Is Mere Superstition, If It Were To Be True, I Would Have Used All My Luck In Paradox Space By Having Such A Loving And Beautiful Matesprit. And Since My Luck Has ‘Run Dry,’ It Should Be You That Rolls The Dice First.”  
  
Before Rose can even Reply Karkat shouts, “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL OF OUR AURICULAR SPONGE CLOTS, PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR DISGUSTING AMOUNTS OF RED-ROM AND JUST ROLL THE BULGE-GRINDING DICE ALREADY LALONDE.”  
  
To prevent Karkat from exploding again, Rose pouts a bit then rolls the dice. Five and five. Rose moves her iron into the space named jail, obviously not satisfied with her roll.  
  
You whisper to Roxy, “wwhat does that space do? And Wwhy is she rollin’ the dice again?”  
  
She whispers back, “that space is just for peeps that are in jail and can’t roll, cuz she’s just visiting she doesn’t gotta stay there. And rolling two a the same numbers lets you roll again.  
  
You thank her and return your focus to the game, Rose rolled again and got two threes. With a smirk she moved her piece over to the first orange square. She gave Jane, who was referred to as “the banker”, some of the paper slips each team was given at the beginning of the game. With her third roll she gets a one and a two, landing on the last orange square. She gives more paper to Jane and gets two of the orange cards in return.  
  
Looking very arrogant, Rose passes the dice to Dirk and the game begins. Seeing how Rose is already almost halfway across the board on her first move, you doubt this game will take much time at all... probably.


	19. Noble Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monopoly ends and the part of the sleepover where they sleep still doesn't happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a few days late but I hope you enjoy :)

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are crushing these noobs in monopoly, most of them anyway. Dave and Karkat were the first to drop out after landing on your boardwalk, twice. Jake and Dirk were second to get out, mostly because Jake traded most of their good properties to Jane while Dirk was in the bathroom. Rose and Kanaya had an incredible start with Rose’s luck, but Kanaya was rather unlucky and that eventually led to their demise to Jane’s monopolies. Jade played relatively average, but was unable to get a single monopoly, which in late game meant a slow but sure bankruptcy. Leaving just your team, Jane, and John still left in the game. And only three hours in, not bad for monopoly standards.  
  
Jane had a strong set up, controlling about half the spaces and three monopolies. You and Eri managed to get boardwalk and park place early on, and threw all your money into putting houses on them. John has two monopolies, both relatively early on the board, so not worth too much but enough to keep him afloat. And the remaining properties are split mostly between you and John.  
  
John is about to go into Jane’s territory and needs to roll a three, six, eight, or eleven to not land on a property that will probably bankrupt him. He holds the dice in his clasped hands, gives them a good shake, and lets them go. One die immediately falls on five. The second one looks like it’s about to land on four, but at the last second rolls once more onto a one.  
  
“Yes! Haha, take that Jane.” John flashes his signature dorky smile and sticks his tongue out facing Jane. Jane looks frustrated but picks up the dice and rolls anyway.  
  
She rolls a five, which gives her a chance card. She picks up the top card and reads it out loud, “go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.”  
  
“Ha, looks like you gotta spend the rest a the game in prison, Egbert.”  
  
“No Eri, that's a good thing for her. Now she doesn’t gotta roll on any of our spaces.” The troll looks confused for a second, then mutters something about how prison on Alternia was pretty much a death sentence.  
  
And with a smug grin Jane moves her small top hat into jail (probably for top hat related crimes, like being too fancy or being the real perpetrator of Lincoln’s assassination).  
  
Seeing as how Eridan rolled last time your team’s turn rolled around, you pick up the dice and prepare to roll. You’re between two of Jane’s property. You bite your lip a bit in anticipation, until you give the dice one final shake and let go.  
  
A six, which lands you right on one of Jane’s spaces, one of the less expensive ones, but still a hit to your pile of fake money. Jane just reaches out a hand with a sinister grin, waiting for you to pay up obviously. You just sigh and give her a couple hundreds.  
  
"I still don’t get this game. I thought on Earth people wweren’t forced to buy thins’ at any store they come across?”  
  
“Wait. You mean that Alternia was just big planet-sized monopoly. If you walked up to a store you just had to buy something?”  
  
Eridan replies with, “yeah, pretty much. Usually under threat a death.” Mostly ignoring the kinda fucked up capitalism they had on Alternia, you pass the dice back over to John.  
  
John seems to study the board a bit. Overall, not lookin’ good for ya boy. Not like he’s yours or anything, it’s just like a saying, that people say, normal people, who don’t have inner monologues about monopoly games.  
  
You snap out of your weird meta talk by John starting to speak. “I’ve made a decision. Roxy I would like to trade.” John then picks up all his property cards and fake money and hands it to you. You’re very confused by this. “Well I have no chance in winning, and I’d much rather you win than Jane,” he sticks out his tongue in his sister’s direction to make sure that yes, this is very petty. “All I ask for is one dollar in return.” He extends his hand with a big smile on his face.  
  
You can’t help but smile and shake his hand, “deal!” John hands over all of his belongings in exchange for one measly monopoly buck.  
  
With all of his belongings given away, John picks up the dice and roll. And sure enough he lands right on one of Jane’s buildings, going bankrupt and losing the game. John turns to you after getting up, “I leave our fate to you. Please win, we can’t let Jane win monopoly every time we play.” With a salute, John walks over to the couch with the rest of the losers to watch the game.  
  
“Pff, wwe don’t need his help anywwavve,” you hear Eridan mutter behind you.  
  
It turns out you really did need John’s help, because even after John sacrificed his properties to you it was still incredibly close. You had invested all the money John gave you into the blue spaces, Boardwalk and Park Place, in hopes that Jane would land on them and lose the game. You had to mortgage most of your properties but managed to keep hotels on your two important spaces. It all came down to this roll, Jane was five spaces off of Park place and seven from Boardwalk. She had invested most of her cash so she didn’t have much on hand, meaning that one bad roll and she’d have to start selling, which is a slipper lil’ slope to losing.  
  
Jane looks about as confident as she usually does when playing monopoly as she is handed the dice by Eridan. Eridan of course, gives her a glare to make sure she knows he means business.  
  
She shakes the dice, and rolls.  
  
2 and 5.  
  
“YEEESSSSS” you quickly stand up and pump your fist in the air victoriously. “Take that Jane.” You give Eridan a hearty high five as he just gives Jane a smug smirk.  
  
“Well, it’s not like I’ve lost yet. I still have far more properties than you two do,” Jane says as she takes off multiple houses and hotels and even a few mortgages in order to pay out the 2000 dollars she owes you.  
  
The slope was just as slippery as you anticipated, after the big payout you continued to rebuy and put houses on all the mortgaged properties that you and Eri now owned. After a couple more turns and a few lucky dice rolls, team wwisards is victorious!  
  
“You got lucky,” Jane says with a pout.  
  
“Lol Janey the whole game is luck with a little bit of skill sprinkled in to make it look like a skill based game to the untrained eye."  
  
“HOLY SHIT IS IT FINALLY OVER? I WAS ABOUT TO RESORT TO CONSUMING BY OWN ABDOMINAL SAUSAGES LINK BY LINK IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE ANY MINISCULE FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT FROM WATCHING THIS STUPID FUCKING ASS GAME.”  
  
Kanaya stands up off the couch and stretches, “Yes We Seemed To Have… Underestimated The Length Of Time This Game Usually takes.”  
  
Dave, who seemed to have awoken from a near sleep like trance, adds “nah, four and a half hour is pretty normal around here. Heck if anything I was expecting it to last twice as long as it did, cause it usually comes down to Rose, Dirk, and Jane playing three hours after everyone else already lost, like soccer players who keep running even though the quarterback has already struck out.”  
  
“And Dave still knows nothing about sports.”  
  
“Aw can it Rose, like you anything more than I do about sports games.”  
  
Rose, always eager to prove Dave wrong, replies with, “striking out is a term from baseball where the batter obtains three strikes, which are gained either when missing the ball thrown at them altogether or when getting a foul ball. The quarterback is a position in football, the purpose of said position is to start the plays and choose to throw the ball to a teammate or run with it themselves. The quarterback also acts as the on field leader of the team. And soccer plays do not strike out, nor are they quarterbacks.”  
  
Dave fumbles with his glasses all embarrassingly, “how the hell do you even know so much about sports anyway?”  
  
“C’mon bro, everyone knows more about sports than you do.” Dirk takes an open spot on the couch next to Dave. Which causes him to get up almost instinctively and after looking around for a second he spots an open seat next to John and sits there instead. “Well okay then.”  
  
The whole room goes silent for a moment, good thing you’re there to rescue it. You stand up and do the good ol’ yawn and stretch maneuver, “well that game took about as long as expected but I’m ready to pretend to catch some z’s.” Everyone mutters in agreement and starts to head off. All the girls go to Jane’s room to sleep, while the guys go to John’s.  
  
Once all the gals arrive in their room, Jane starts handing out sleeping bags and pillows. “Hey wait don’t trolls use those slime bath thingies?” you point out.  
  
Kanaya talks to you while carefully unrolling her sleeping bag next to Rose’s. “While Most Trolls Certainly Prefer Recuperacoons, We Are Not Averse To Human Beds. Especially Since Human Partners Have A Great Distaste In Sopor Slime, And Will Refuse To Sleep In It.” Makes sense, though you think it would be kinda fun to try one out some time.  
  
The rest of you finish making your beds, or bags, in a few minutes. Instead of going to sleep, you do what happens at most sleepovers, which is stay up way too late.  
  
“So What Happens Now May I Ask?”  
  
Rose scoots a little closer to her matesprit. “I believe now is the part of the classical sleepover where all of the girls gossip about cute guys while braiding each other’s hair.”  
  
Kanaya turns her head to look at Rose. “Why Talk About Boys? They Seem To Be A Rather Dull Conversational Topic. I Would Much Prefer To Talk About Girls.”  
  
Rose inches her face closer to the other girl’s. “Well what is there to talk about involving girls?”  
  
Kanaya moves her face even closer, so that their lips are almost touching. “So. Much.”  
  
Oh they’re totally bouta start mashin’ lips. Well they were, until Jane flicked on and off the lights and reminded them of the ‘no kissing during sleepovers rule.’ Which definitely wasn’t mentioned before, you think you’d remember that being a thing, definitely.  
  
With a pout, Rose shifted back as to not be within immediate kissing range of Kanaya, with her following suit.  
  
“Aww c’mon they were just getting to the good part,” Jade whines.  
  
“Yeah Jane, you don’t gotta be a tightass. I say let the ladies have fun.”  
  
Forcing away a blush, Jane shakes her head. “The rules still stand. There will not be any makeouts during this sleepover.” The crowd (being you, and Jade) boos and somebody (you) even throws a crumpled piece of paper at Jane.  
  
After about an hour of girl talk and even some hair braiding, you’re feeling pretty thirsty. You tell the girls that you’re gonna get a drink, Rose looks mildly concerned for a second before you specify that the drink is going to be water.  
  
You exit the room and quietly shut the door behind you. You sneak over to the kitchen. You reach up to grab a cup from the upper cabinet. You choose not to take the “number 1 dad!” mug or the “number 1 son!” mug, and opt for the “number 1 daughter!” mug. Because reading it gives you a little smile.  
  
You take it to the fridge and activate the water thingy (you have no idea what it’s actual name is so water thingy it is) and it shoots out water into your mug.  
  
You’re taking a sip from your water mug when you hear footsteps incoming. You look around the corner to see John attempting to be stealthy as he sneaks through the hallway towards you. “Yo Egbert whatcha doin’?”  
  
“Oh, uh, well I could ask you the same thing!” He points at you accusingly.  
  
You raise your eyebrow, then your mug. “I’m just gettin’ a drink but what’re you doin’ Mr. Suspicious. John Suspicious Egbert.”  
  
“Suspicious as a middle name would be cool. Wait wouldn’t I still be Mr. Egbert if my full name was John Suspicious Egbert.”  
  
“Oh shiz, you right. But anyway, why are you sneaking around your own house at this hour?”  
  
“Oh yeah, uh, Dave and Dirk are kinda fighting right now. It was getting sorta awkward so I snuck out.”  
  
“Ugghhhh,” you drag your hand down your face. “Why do those two brothers gotta be at each other’s throats. I mean jeez.”  
  
John looks a little more comfortable as he walks up to stand a little closer to you and out of the hallway. “Yeah, jeez is right.”  
  
Once he’s out of the hallway and under the kitchen light you get a better look at him. You can clearly see his big blue eyes under his huge glasses. You give him a smile. His face seems to heat up to nearly feverish levels as he attempts to give a smile back, damn he’s cute.  
  
“So how’re you holding up Roxy?”  
  
You’re a little caught off guard by the question. “Huh wdym.”  
  
“Did you really just say wdym? Like the letters? In person? Just saying ‘what do you mean’ would’ve been just as fast.” You just smile and give a playful shrug. To which he lets out a light chuckle. “I just mean that you found out you have two brothers. It seems kinda weird to be unaffected by it. Dave is certainly affected right now, so I was wondering if you were okay.” He looks so heartfelt and kind as he says this to you.  
  
“Aww,” you give John a nice pat on the shoulder. “Thanks for worryin’ about me but I’m holding up just fine.”  
  
He gives you one of his patented dorky smiles, “I’m glad.”  
  
Fuck. You totally have a crush on him. You can feel it. Your heart rate is so goddamn fast and your face is heating up, no your whole body is heating up, and you're leaning in to kiss him.  
  
Wait what.  
  
Yup. You’re definitely leaning in to kiss him. Well it’s too late to back out now, all or nothin’ baby. You continue to lean your face toward his face, as one does when trying to smooch.  
  
John looks very red and flustered. You start to see him lean to meet his lips with yours, and you close your eyes.  
  
Your lips eventually, don’t feel anything actually. “Huh?” You open your eyes and see that John looks incredibly red in the face and about a foot away.  
  
“Sorry this would be my first kiss and I want to be ready and also you have a boyfriend and I don’t wanna get in between you two.”  
  
“Huh?” you say yet again.  
  
John looks downright sad as he continues talking. “You and that fish troll Eridan. I saw the way you two are with each other. It’s obvious you’re dating and I don’t wanna be the reason you two break up, and honestly I don’t wanna be some sort of mistress or something.”  
  
“Huh?” you were going to say for a third time, because really Roxy? Can you not form any coherent sentences right now? But thankfully, or probably not thankfully, you’re cut off by the sound of a door being opened very loudly. That was followed by fast, stomping footsteps coming toward you.  
  
Dave appears, looking very upset and probably even pissed. He stomps right past you and into the living room.  
  
Two more pairs of footsteps quickly come stomping into the living room after him. “Dave you cannot just leave, we can talk this out like adults.”  
  
“DAVE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING. DON’T JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH THIS ASSHOLE.” Dirk and Karkat exit the hallway after Dave.  
  
Dave reaches the door and looks back. His expression softens a bit from pure anger to more like exasperation, “dude sorry, I just can’t be around him right now. I’m getting some fresh air.”  
  
Dave then opens the door, goes through it, then exits the house, shutting the door behind him. You can faintly hear the sound of his car starting from the driveway.  
  
You are so confused right now, apparently you all are because no one is moving or saying anything. “Wtf just happened.” You point to Dirk and Karkat. “Explain you two.”


End file.
